Tag: Inner strength

Two types of pain

33- 10 Sept 17- Two types of painEach of us must have experienced both forms of pain at various points in our life. The pain that hurts us can be physical pain or psychological pain. Physical pain, unless it is a permanent pain, is often forgotten once we are physically healed. The psychological pain on the other hand tends to remain with us for a much longer time, perhaps in some cases even lifelong. The trauma of pain that hurts is now better managed by medication, counseling and therapy, yet the experience often leaves an individual  scarred, bitter at times and definitely wary of going through the agony once again.

The same pain that we experience be it physical or psychological, can be channelized by every individual by using the right attitude and thinking to become a life changing experience. Not just life changing for the individual but also life changing for the people around, the circle of influence we can reach out to. The very essence of pain management is an excellent example of it. It is the result of years of experimentation and research done by individuals who dealt with people in pain and decided to reach out to alleviate the pain of such people. However, although most of us as individuals may not have the technical expertise to do the same, each of us can develop the right attitude and thinking to change our approach to managing our pain as well as the pain of those around us.

Accept what cannot be changed This is the toughest part of managing pain. Embracing the inevitable, making peace with the reality and looking at pain from the prism of positivity would enable an individual to accept the unchangeable faster and more whole heartedly. Death of a loved one, the loss of a limb or a physical transformation due to an accident or having an incurable disease like MND would require the individual to accept the reality that life is altered forever. Once an individual makes peace with this reality, reorienting the thinking is a relatively easier process.

Channelize your pain to transform your life – Be it your pain or you being a part of another’s pain would always impact your life. If a close friend or family member is in any type of pain, it impacts you also. You need to channelize the pain into seeing it as a way to learn some lessons be it reorienting your thinking or being made aware of people who you took for granted as being more dependable or finding your hidden reservoir of strength to mange yourself.

Empathize with those in pain – Be there for people who are in pain. Comfort them by your understanding, presence and patience. Divert their minds to pleasant thoughts, beautiful memories of the past and give them hope. Let them know that you share their suffering and that you would like to share their burden. Understanding the trauma of those in the throes of psychological pain is very tough because we tend to use logic or rationalize it. However, emotions run a lot deeper and they remain simmering within the individual. It is essential that those around try and draw the person out of his/ her trauma, reassure them of getting their life back on track and show them hope in the future. This can dull the pain, the fear and inject in them a strong desire to make a stronger comeback.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – This is the mantra that each one should adopt and share. Each of us will experience a variety of pain in varying degrees. We need to quickly get to grips with it and try to mitigate it by dwelling less on the suffering and instead focusing on how it is changing you to become stronger, more resilient and helping you discover your inner strength.

Try these

  1. List out 5 activities that give you maximum pain. The challenge is to confront each of them and to jot down the learning from it each time you confronted it.
  2. Attempt one or more of the following:
  • Visit an elderly / lonely neighbor once a week
  • Go to the local hospital and ask the social worker how you can help out
  • You can also visit a hospice or old age home or a home for the challenged
  • Visit a nearby park and notice people who seem alone/ lonely. See if you can strike a conversation with them and bring a smile to their face.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Six steps to realizing your dreams

25-A new definition of ACTIONWith the Rio Olympics just around the corner, this quote is an apt reminder of the struggles, the hard work, the challenges and the passion that has driven the numerous sports persons representing their respective countries at the Olympics. For sure each of them started off with a Dream. When they march in the contingent representing their country they would have realized their dreams and the reality of the achievement will sink in when they participate in their respective event. As you read this, you too would be reflecting on various dreams that you have had and possibly wondering how you too can realize those dreams. As is obvious from the quote, all you need to do is to act on it… ACTION !

Accept the opportunity – If you know what you want, see yourself making the best use of the opportunity to attain it. For many, we have dreams but decide that the dreams are too unrealistic and so we let our dreams die without even attempting to give it a chance. If you can be genuinely passionate about your dreams, then you will make every effort to chase the dream.

Cling tenaciously to your dream. – There will be many who would chide you for your audacity to chase your dreams. There will be many who will try to dishearten you and create self doubt within you. You have to believe in your dream and cling tenaciously to it no matter what the price you have to pay. Yes, everything comes for a price and you have to be prepared to pay the price but what you get in return will be priceless.

Trust yourself – There will be times when you began with gusto and suddenly you were overwhelmed by problems and possibly you surrendered to them and gave up. Let that set back deter you from attempting again. Believe in your dreams, trust your abilities to be resilient and daring enough to pursue relentlessly. No one but you can lead your life; no one but you can realize your dream!

Innovate along the way – The dream always looks distant and the road to it long and winding. You would need to innovate and utilize all available legitimate means to be ahead of the crowd. You would need to take advice from the experts, rework your strategies, learn from competitors but all times be ethical and true to your conscience. Notice that many an athlete who used unfair means to improve their performance has come to grief. There must be both dignity and pride in realizing your dreams.

Overcome negativity – fear of failure is the biggest obstacle that prevents many a talent to blossom and showcase their talent. Criticism is another major negative emotion that can drive you to despair. Both failure and criticism are demotivators but they should not chain you to the belief that things cannot be overcome. When challenged you, you must rise above the negativity that it invariably injects in you. Falling down is not failure, failing to get up and go on is!

Next challenge – Action is not just single piece of activity. It is a continuous quest for improvement, for progress and for success. So once you surmount the initial hurdle, the next challenge must be embraced with equal enthusiasm. Those who manage to turn their dreams into reality have chased the next challenge and successfully conquered it.

Try these:

  1. Make a list of excuses you have made for not attaining something that you desperately hope to. Analyze it and work out a plan to eliminate every single excuse and give yourself another shot at realizing your dream.
  2. Make study of how you spend the 24 hours each day that you are blessed with. Can you eliminate some unnecessary waste of time, can you make some of your time even more productive, can you organize yourself better to ensure you group your activities to minimize time wastage?
  3. What is the next big fun activity that you are planning? What is the next major task that you have which you have been postponing for a while. Put a deadline on both and get cracking on achieving both within the deadline set. No excuses please!

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Disovering your real strength.

13-28- Do you know your own strengthAre there times when you felt life is unfair? Ever felt that you cannot cope any more with life? Perhaps the anger, frustration, pain and problems have at times made you question yourself if it is worth living. As of now you are reading this because you did not succumb to the pressures that could have occasionally threatened, weakened and demoralized you. Perhaps the pressures enabled you to discover your own ability to cope with the vagaries of life, made you aware of the tough and steely self belief you have and helped you find latent strengths and talents that came to the fore.

To discover yourself better think back and analyze how you responded to a vulnerable situation, understand how you coped with temptations, how you chose between alternatives, the manner in which you respond to crisis and your reactions when you are unfairly given a raw deal. This is when you discover your real strength; that comes from your core beliefs, your value system, your character and your all round personality.

Your response to a vulnerable situation.  Look back at your school days. Remember the time when either you were singled out by the teacher for some aberration committed by someone sitting near you. The teacher is unable to identify the culprit but have zoomed in on you and either accuse you or threaten you to identify the culprit. Your response should give you an idea of how and what shaped your response. Would you have responded differently today given the same circumstances?

Coping with temptations You are attending a seminar. After the break you discover that your folder and handouts are missing. It is difficult to identify who has either pinched it or mistakenly taken it. You are annoyed, irritated and a wee bit frantic. After lunch you notice another folder lying around. You are tempted to stake claim to it though you know it is not yours since the color of the folder is different but rationalize that the owner of this folder may have mistakenly taken your folder. Your response should give you an idea of how and what shaped your response. Would you have responded differently today given the same circumstances?

Choosing between alternatives Midway through an exam you are appearing for, you realize that the person sitting behind you is frantically trying to catch your attention and suggesting that you allow him/ her to copy from you answer sheet. Your response should give you an idea of how and what shaped your response. Would you have responded differently today given the same circumstances?

Response to crisis.  You are at the airport on your way to attend a cousins wedding. It is peak season and you have booked your seats months ahead. At the check in counter you notice a commotion. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you try to find out the reason for the commotion. You find a frantic individual begging for a ticket to attend his father’s funeral rites. Your response should give you an idea of how and what shaped your response. Would you have responded differently today given the same circumstances?

Reaction when given a raw dealDuring the course of the year on more than one occasion your bosses have complimented you on some exceptional performance. You are shocked when at the annual appraisal team you are given an excellent rating but not the promotion you were expecting. Worse still you find out soon after that a colleague who has also done some competent work has been given the promotion since he / she had indicated to management that they could quit if the promotion was not coming their way. Your response should give you an idea of how and what shaped your response. Would you have responded differently today given the same circumstances?

There is no crystal clear right or wrong answers to most of the circumstances/ situations described above. They are merely indicative of the type of real life situations that would force you to exercise your discretion and possibly realize your own inner strength.  There is much more of you waiting to be discovered by you… challenges, difficulties and hurt are hurdles that help you discover the real you.

Try this:

Each of us have noble intentions but when it comes to putting it into practice we painfully discover we are weak, indecisive and easily give up. The challenge for therefore is to focus on some noble personal intentions to be put into practice.

  • Try to enhance savings by 10 % each year. If you get an unexpected bonus and during the annual increments add an additional 10% of the bonus / increment to the savings.
  • Identify a charity or social cause and devote at least 5 hours a month to that cause. Increase your involvement 6 months after you put your intention into practice.
  • Find a environment friendly activity to promote personally as well as in your residential area and work place. Target to get 1 person involved in this activity every quarter.

Identify 3 passions you would love to indulge in but cannot do so right now because of financial / personal/ social circumstances. Your challenge is to put a time frame in which to achieve each and write down a time bound plan of action to achieve it. By 1st Jan 2014 this should form part of your active efforts to achieve your dream.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Self belief holds the key to success

Perhaps I am stronger than I think. Thomas Merton

Each of us is blessed with numerous qualities, skills and abilities which we often take for granted.  However we find it very hard to recognize our strengths and acknowledge them, partly because we see ourselves as ordinary people and partly because we are modest to a fault. In fact human nature is such that we seek out those qualities that we wish we had and then we end up feeling sorry for ourselves that we are not blessed. Other times we are aware that we have some key strengths but we find it hard to acknowledge it, least we convey an impression of being pompous or haughty. In rare instances some of us who are very talented mistakenly compare our talents with that of the maestros in the field and conclude that we are woefully inadequate. The net result is that we undermine our strengths and do not leverage it to our advantage.

To understand our strengths we need to analyze our personality on 4 broad dimensions; the physical, the mental, the emotional and the spiritual dimensions. There could be specific strengths under each of these broad dimensions that we need to study and the we have to put our own personal competencies in perspective. Eg. To be very creative education is not a prerequisite but our creativity can be enhanced by education. So even if we are not class toppers our ideas maybe one in a million. If one has to get a good self analysis done, the key is to be open and receptive to feedback from others. There are times when this can be very painful particularly when we are criticized unfairly or the honest truth is a bitter pill to swallow. Conversely, when we are lavished with praise we suspect that people are being sarcastic or too liberal with their judgment and we discount their honest feedback.

To leverage our strengths the key is self belief. If we do not trust our own abilities and mental strength to face competition and overcome it, we can never realize our full potential. All successes and victories are first conceptualized in the mind before they are achieved on the ground. It is therefore essential that we begin to accept that we are no ordinary mortal but someone special who has some very special skill sets and talents. In the movie the Rain man the protagonist suffers from a mental disability that makes him in a deviant from the societal point of view. Yet he has the rare ability of calculation which he himself is unaware of but is identified by others. Many of us are like Rain man with one vital difference we are not considered social misfits and we don’t have extraordinary gifts but we are simply not able to utilize our special strengths. E.g. We are very perceptive when we analyze data but we prefer to do some paper pushing job because we lack the confidence to use our analytical powers to take on more responsible assignments.

Can we develop self belief? The answer is a resounding yes but the path is not so easy. The key to self belief lies in our ability to accept failure as a part of the learning process and more importantly to believe that failure is not the end of the road but the critical fork on the road where we need to perhaps retrace our steps and take the right fork. When we let perceived failure or failure itself to dominate our thought process, we have lost the strength to bounce back. Self belief is all about bouncing back for no one ever succeeded without failing at least once.

Remember: “For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.”  Stuart Chase

Try this:

  1. Look back at the days gone by and list out the bravest things you did. Perhaps it was coming in as a tail ender and facing up to a terrifying pace balling in order to save your cricket team from losing a match or it could be not being pressurized into allowing someone to copy from your answer sheet in an exam or it could be severing a relationship that you were convinced was going nowhere and not giving into emotional blackmail. Did you realize then that these were examples of your real strength manifesting itself?
  2. List out 3 of your worst fears. Now choose one of them and make an attempt to overcome it. E.g. You are terrified of dogs. Now try to overcome this fear of dogs by going near a pet dog which the owner says is very docile. Perhaps if you gain in confidence you must attempt to pet it too.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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