Tag: Learning

Four point transformation

29-four-point-transformationEach of us is seeking ways and means of transforming our life into something more glorious. We try to change our personalities, we seek good counsel, we attempt to add more formal and informal education to our CV . We even attempt to convolute our entire being into an artificial person that we cannot identify with. The efforts are laudable; the outcome may often fall short of our expectations. A simpler way would be, to attempt and imbibe the following four points in our daily life and that could be the beginning, of an entirely new chapter in your life.

Attract what you expect – No matter what the situation, it pays to be optimistic, positive and motivated for they tend to attract success. It is good to visualize vividly your goals, your plans, your future for that is when you begin to identify happenings and situations that will set you on the path that you want to go. E.g. assume you want to own a car. Think of the make and color of the car. Soon you will begin to notice that, you tend to be spotting exactly the same type of car more often on the roads. It is just that you are goal focused and hence tend to overlook all other vehicles that you are not interested in.

Reflect what you desire So what is it that you passionately desire? How can you achieve those desires? Nothing comes easy, but every small step you take, will take you closer to realizing your dreams and desires. You can seek status/ wealth / academic excellence/  a successful career / a perfect spouse or a wonderful parent. No matter what you desire, your actions / your attitude / your behavior/ your ethics and your passion need to reflect your desires. E.g. You have to display leadership skills if you want to be taken seriously as a potential leader or you cannot become a wonderful parent unless you spend ample time with your children.

Become what you respect – Who are the people you respect? What is it about them that you admire and acknowledge? Their personal values, their communication style, their ability to put people at ease, their discipline, their attention to details etc. could be some of traits that make them well respected and admired by society. It is upto you, to work hard and change yourself, by imbibing some of these well respected qualities and traits. You will soon evolve to become an individual whose traits, values and style get approval of others and you start gaining their confidence and respect. E.g. Once you let it be known that you respect time and are a stickler for time by attending meetings or keeping appointments, people will begin to respect you for your commitment and  your value of time.

Mirror what you admire – It is said that imitation is the best form of flattery. Most times though we tend to imitate or mirror the style statement of celebrities, ape the playing style of our sporting heroes or tend to be part of the current trends. While some of these could be useful, what we must never ignore is to identify the traits, the values and the spirit that many of our heroes and favorite celebrities posses. Their work ethics, for example, could be the key to their success. Possibly their discipline and their ability to evolve with the times give them that extra edge to succeed. Identify these wholesome qualities that you admire and make that part of your style too.

Try these:

Be honest to yourself and answer how you would react in the following situations:

  • You have studied hard for an exam but unfortunately the paper is very tough. Unless you pass the paper you may lose a year. You notice that the student in front of you seems to be answering well and you can copy from his/ her paper. What will you do?
  • You find a lost wallet containing a large sum of money in it. There is no identification of the owner of the wallet. What would you do?
  • You have to tell your principal which of the two people has committed some terrible mischief. The person who has done the deed is your closest buddy but the other accused is the class bully and you dislike him immensely and have some scores to settle with him. What response would you give your principal?
  • You have entrusted some valuables including a family heirloom with a friend’s friend, when you and your friend had to suddenly go out of town. On coming back the person with whom you had kept the valuables says that he/she is unable to locate the same despite trying their best to locate it. You are distraught and want to file a police complaint. Your friend is adamant that you should not file that police complaint since it would tarnish the other friends’ reputation. What would you do?

List out some of the traits / values you respect in the following persons:

  • Your favorite teacher
  • Your dad or mum or sibling
  • Your favorite uncle/ aunt /neighbor
  • Your colleague / friend
  • A celebrity you admire
  • A well known character from history.

So which of these traits / values do you share or would like to imbibe?

 This post is courtesy http://www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Do you have your scars ?

27-Do you have the scars

Taking the easy way out, is what most of us do when faced with a choice. Yet, our mettle is tested and out abilities judged by how we stood up to be counted when the chips are down. Volunteering in class, for example, is always a tough proposition because there is a very high probability of failing in the assigned task.  Yet, notice that the ones who usually volunteer to answer questions, take on a challenge are often the more brilliant ones or the real daring ones and occasionally an average joe who possibly has a more incisive motive. The rest of us do end up having a hearty laugh or a feeling of awe at the outcome of such daring. What we do not gain though, is the learning from the first hand experience, the opportunity to give ourselves a chance to try something different and display our inner strength no matter what the outcome.

Commitment is an essential trait of all successful people. As they say ‘when the going goes tough the tough get going’. Sharing messages on social media, trolling people, liking and disliking matter posted by others are simple and passive action. The challenge is to put into practice the exhortations in the messages. This means taking the initiative, being prepared to get bruised, being ready to learn from mistakes and giving all one has got. Success is not guaranteed but learning sure is. While failure could be a real possibility it is in the participation and scrimmage that one gains experience.

Daring is another trait of trailblazers. ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’ is another old adage. There is always risk in attempting something new. However, if one has prepared well, you increase the chances of success. Yet, one can never know how much one has learned unless one dares and ventures to attempt and find out. Daring improves your self confidence, expands your own daring zone and most of all gives you bragging rights to say I tried it. While people would often only recall the winners, you would always remember every attempt you made. You will never forget  the lessons you learned, the success you enjoyed along the way and can proudly flaunt the bruises from the attempts to prove that you participated and didn’t stand on the sidelines to clap for others.

Try these:

  1. Make a list of all the things you wanted to do in your life. Make it exhaustive and vivid. Remember that when visualizing, imagining and  dreaming you just let your mind soar, your passion come alive and there are no constraints at all. Now identify 3- 5 of the most passionate dreams you have listed and work out a plan to attain them within a time frame set by you.
  2. In this week you are to do the following:
  • Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper about some social issue that you are passionate about.
  • Make an attempt to overcome some fear you have e.g. holding a snake / donating blood because you fear the prick of a needle / learning a new sport
  • Proactively bring about a positive change in your behavior that others notice and appreciate.
  • Buy 2 surprise gifts and give it to some random person who is least expecting it.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The anger paradox

9 Coping with  anger

Every individual however calm and tolerant he/ she is will at times get angry either because they are provoked or because they are upset at what they observe and do not approve. The vast majority of us are quick to get angry, some because they are short tempered others because they are easily frustrated and some because they are idealists and seek perfection all the time. The irony is that most times our anger is justifiable but how we give in to our anger is questionable. We rave, we rant, we scream, shout, abuse, threaten and in extreme cases vent our anger in a physical form. Unfortunately the anger we express allows us to let off steam but rarely does it propel the relationship much further.

The intensity of our anger is largely expressed in direct proportion to the intimacy of the person to whom it is directed e.g. husband and wife or parent and children. In other cases the intensity is largely inversely proportionate to the level of the organizational hierarchy of the sender and receiver of the angry exchange e.g. the superior will inflict all his anger on the junior most subordinate and will sulk to express anger with a superior. With strangers the intensity of our anger depends on the situation, our perception of the individual at who we direct our anger and how effectively the quick release of anger calms us down. What is interesting is that having expressed our anger we do tend to get a sense of relief but very very rarely do we actually resolve the problem effectively. By expressing our anger we certainly convey our emotion but do not effectively convey the real problem nor do we get the full attention of those who we address. Most times expressing anger triggers defensive responses from the recipient who try to apportion blame or to justify the action or simply apologize and escape.

On the other hand if we can pinpoint to ourselves what exactly annoys, irritates and angers us, we would be able to explain our anger perhaps forcefully but certainly very effectively. Our anger is often a quick reaction to what we perceive as an action that is contrary to our expectations. At times our anger could be completely misplaced and if we explain our anger, we would perhaps get to hear a very plausible reasoning for the action. Explaining our anger would educate the recipient, it would also make the recipient better appreciate our point of view and most of all it will be enable the person explaining and the person listening connect and see the issue from the same perspective. Explaining anger would spur the recipient to proactively rectify the problem and this in effect means you are enabling a solution, resolving an issue and achieving our objective.

Expressing anger may give temporary relief to the person expressing it but explaining anger will certainly direct energy and action towards a more permanent solution to the problem.

Try this:

  • Can you recall 3 incidences where you were at the receiving end of somebody’s anger? Were you really guilty or culpable as indicated by the person admonishing you?
  • Think of one or two times when you expressed your anger only to sheepishly realize that your anger was completely misplaced. Do you think you could have handled the situation differently and more effectively with loss of face?
  • You were entrusted with Rs.5,000 in cash to be deposited in the bank. Since one of your office colleagues was going to the bank you asked her to deposit it on your behalf. Unfortunately her handbag containing your money was stolen on the way. How would you react to this situation? How do you expect the person who entrusted you with the money to react when you explain the matter to him.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Have you learned your lesson?

24- 21 Aug 15 -Have you learned your lessonAs children, we were largely dependent on our parents, elders and teachers to help us find our way in life especially learning life skills. Formal education, manners and etiquettes, independent and creative thinking, our morals and values, our attitudes and beliefs etc. were all strongly influenced by our elders and those whom we have come in contact with. However, with the passage of time, each individual matures and slowly weans away from this support system as a natural progression of life. The take away’s that remain with us and which we display in latter years are the lessons we have learned and imbibed through our interactions, formal study and independent thinking. Hopefully each one of us largely grasped and imbibed the right lessons and display this learning in our interactions.

Some universal lessons that every individual must learn include the following

Success is never final nor failure ever fatal: Every achievement that we are proud of has to be celebrated for it is the testimony to hard work and diligent effort. Success is also a great morale booster but should you let success go into your head, we would be blinded to better opportunities, fail to recognize competition and even loose the zeal for further achievement. At the same time, for the vast majority, success is largely elusive; yet the disappointment of failing must be viewed as a blip in the continum called life. There would be new opportunities, fresh challenges and renewed vigor to aspire and perspire for our goals. Failure is often, just a reality check that indicates we have to still prepare better and attempt again. Failure helps one value discipline, hard work and success. Use failure as a spring board for a giant leap not as a dead weight to drown in self pity. Failure is just one step backward while success is just one step forward; the gap to be filled is never too wide.

You cannot cross a chasm in two steps: Decision making is perhaps the one life skill that distinguishes the leaders from the followers. It is a skill that comes from a mix of learning, understanding and daring. Every individual has to, at some time or the other, face the reality of having to make decisions. That is when an individual has to take that leap of faith and make those big decisions that have major ramifications. The consequences of the decision could be either ecstatic, indifferent or devastating. What is important to learn is that we cannot run away from making those decisions. At times we have to take calculated risks. You cannot reach different shores unless you are willing to set sail and lose sight of the familiar shoreline.

When faced with a mountain you climb it, go around or dig through it: Problems are those imaginary mountains that we encounter daily. Most of them are minor hiccups, some inevitable irritants and a few major challenges. We often end up making a mountain out of a molehill and then endlessly worry about getting around the problem rather than trying to tackle the problem intelligently. Merely worrying about a problem is like sitting on a rocking chair; there is a lot of movement but you aren’t going anywhere. Translate your worry into tangible course of action to solve the problem. Sometimes the solutions seem more cruel than the problem, as in the case of choosing to ampute a gangrene threatened limb or going through a course of chemotherapy with all the allied side effects. However most problems, fortunately, are relatively minor and not life altering. There is a solution for every problem; the challenge is to calm the mind and explore alternatives and be decisive and bold enough to choose and execute one of the alternatives.

Know the difference between persistence and obstinacy: Try until one succeeds is a good maxim to adopt in life. Where we fail the first time, we must not give up on our dreams and with better preparation and a good plan of action try again and again. However, one needs to be both practical and realistic and if the goal set is beyond one’s rational ability and the proof is constant failure, it is vital that one learns to realize the difference between being persistent and being pig headed and obstinate. Many success stories were not written, because the authors failed to leverage their strengths and instead chose to bull doze their way, rather than change the script. Seek advice, pay attention to feedback, think rationally, minimize emotional indulgence and chase the dream that you can wake up to and live.

It is never too late to learn: Hopefully this post would have engaged your mind and made you think again. It is never too late to learn and put that learning into practice. Perhaps some new thoughts have emerged; maybe a latent dream has awakened, possibly you are already putting the lessons learnt into practice. You can learn from the most unusual people / circumstance. So be open to all sources of learning; open your heart mind and body so that no prejudice, irrationality or fear would filter your learning. Your learning stops only with your last breath. Till then keep an open mind, a grateful heart and a lively spirit. Today is yours to explore, enrich and empower through the lessons each moment offers.

Try these:

  1. Think of the 3 most valuable lessons you learnt in life. Who was responsible for helping you learn. Did you ever acknowledge / appreciate their efforts?
  2. Identify the 3 major failures in your life. What was the learning from each of these failures? Did you give up because of a failure? Were you bitter and agnostic because of a failure?
  3. Do you have any regrets in your life? Are any regrets linked to your failure to be decisive and take action? Were any failures a result of being impulsive and taking emotional decisions?
  4. Can you learn something new in the coming week? You can choose from any of the following or set your own goal for a new learning.
  • A new magic/ card trick
  • Play a new sport
  • Attempt to write a poem/ essay/ short story/ film review
  • Visit a prison / hospice / mental asylum
  • Adopt a pet dog/ fish / turtle /cat etc.
  • Get involved in an artistic venture like a play/ a band/ an art or photographic exhibition

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Being human…

13-5-We are human

The reality of life is something that most of us are prone to misconstrue as being unfair to us. The prime reason for this is our focus on what we crave and do not have and our envy of those who have what we crave. At times when things seem to be going our way or are in a happy frame of mind, we do appreciate the blessings we have but these periods of bliss are far few and in between. So how does one etch happiness into our psyche?

Happiness is a state of mind and the key then is to fine tune the mind to allow happiness to seep in and envelope us. This is best done as under:

Appreciate the reality:

We need to appreciate the fact that we are human. This means that we can think, we can emote and we can decide.

We need to realize that we are not perfect and as a result we have to learn to forgive ourselves, tolerate the mistakes of others and make efforts to correct the mistakes rather than give up in hopelessness.

We need to be ecstatic that we are alive for we now have limitless opportunities to leave our mark in this world and energize the environment around us.

 Focus then on thinking positively, being more forgiving and grasping opportunities.

 Realize the truth:

That as human beings we will make mistakes, we stumble, we fall and we may even get hurt. The truth is that these are like vaccination pricks that are temporarily painful but leave a long term positive effect in ensuring our well being. Seen in this light, it dawns on us that every fall makes us more humble, every mistake teaches us a new lesson and that hurt is a mechanism to alert us to impending dangers that can be avoided through caution and alertness.

Every setback, every tumble we take and every obstacle that comes our way is just a blip in the larger scheme of life; recognize this truth and you shall be free of worries.

 Clasp all possibilities  

Understand the innumerable possibilities that come with the knowledge that we can rise again, we can try again, we keep learning and we keep growing. Seen amputees participate in games and athletics or heard Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata a classic that one finds hard to believe has been composed by a deaf composer. If these seem extreme examples, look at the physically, financially or academically challenged in and around you who have succeeded despite all odds.

So do you see the innumerable opportunities around you just waiting for you to clasp them and turn them into successes?

Embrace life

Now be thankful for the priceless opportunity of life for as long as life exists we can find happiness in the little things and big things that surround us.

Don’t forget that LIFE is Love Inside Finding Expression – start with loving yourself.

Try this:

Write down the following immediately

  • The one new learning you would like to acquire E.g. Learning a new sport or language
  • The one physical good that you desperately want to posses, which is a realistic possibility for you sometime in the next 5 years. E.g. A high end music system (name the brand of your choice)
  • The one limitation / trait that you would want to eliminate at the earliest. E.g. Being more decisive or being more organized
  • The one change you would like to bring to your life E.g. Lose weight or spend more time with family etc.

Now work on ways to realize these desires before the end of 2013

  1. Click on this link and watch this inspirational and motivational talk by Nick Vujicic a truly physically challenged but most engaging speaker http://tinyurl.com/6oqnzk
  2. Click on this link and watch the Last Lecture by Prof. Randy Pausch to appreciate the need to embrace life  http://tinyurl.com/2z3wsx

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be self reliant

No one can build her security upon the nobleness of another person. Willa Cather

Some of us are fortunate to be working for or being closely associated with people with a large heart and even larger purse strings. We not only enjoy the experience of working with them but we become extremely comfortable in our relationship with them.  It is logical that the other party is also very comfortable and pleased with the arrangement and so there is an apparent win win situation with both parties feeling secure with the arrangement.

Unfortunately, life is never a smooth flow and there would be times of disagreements, disappointments and disillusionment. At these times, the relationship comes under severe strain and occasionally either or both parties are prone to re-evaluate the arrangement and the relationship. At these times many a time the subordinate party seriously questions his/ her own long term security since no alternative plan has ever been considered.  It therefore become imperative for people in such a gung-ho relationship to be pragmatic and realistic about the future and to ensure that they have a fall back mechanism for extreme eventualities.

It is foolish to let another person take charge of your life, simply because you are the master of your fate. Even assuming that you share a wonderful rapport with another person, the arrangement cannot exist in perpetuity for apart from the risk of irreconcilable differences, there is also the possibility of the other person losing power, growing senile or passing away. The successors need not share the same feelings or consider the relationship in the same way as their predecessor. This leaves the other party extremely vulnerable and exposed when it comes to their future and security.  A very pragmatic lesson can be got from our own personal life. Do we really spend as much time with our parents as we should especially when they get old and sick? Is it practically for us to expect our children to put our needs first in their scheme of things just as we did when they were growing up?

We are then haunted by the question of how to be independent and yet secure. The answer lies in planning for the future. This involves a mix of judicious investment in learning, earning and saving and having self belief which is the crux of a free spirit and an independent soul. You will have to bank on your core strengths of ability, hard work, patience and above all a clean reputation to garner the security that you seek in life.

Remember: “The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability.”  Henry Ford

Try these:

  1. If you lose your job or your business goes bust, what are the alternatives you will pursue in order to regain your pride and secure your future? Why is it that you are not pursuing those plans today?
  2. Can you identify one or two subordinates who have the ability to rise to much greater heights but lack a support or direction? How can you help him/ her realize their full potential?  Would you feel hurt if later on in life they achieve unprecedented success and they never acknowledge your support?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Knowledge and Ignorance

Painting is easy when you don’t know how, but very difficult when you do. Edgar Degas

Look at the handiwork of children when they are given crayons and a drawing book. They will gleefully paint the most audacious colors for the objects in the pictures and the parents will praise their efforts as a masterpiece.. The effort of the child is simple in form, often shabby in appearance and lavishly praised. All concerned are happy simply because we give due allowance for the child’s age and understanding. As we grow up we suddenly realize that painting is an art form of a very high order requiring expertise, flair and a sound knowledge. The effect of style, medium, light and shades can elevate the art form to a near mystique status. All of a sudden the whole business of art takes on a new dimension and the nuances of the same suddenly come to haunt us.

The same is so true of life too. We go through life, just making demands of our elders particularly parents and grandparents. We cringe when they have expectations from us on the academic front. Soon when we get to competitive exams we realize that the world is a much bigger place, the contestants formidable and the challenge intense. This realization brings on a sense of urgency and propels us into taking proactive measures to ensure that we have a realistic chance to finish the rat race. Knowledge makes us painfully aware of our own limitations, the width of the canvas suddenly looks ominous and the masterpiece in our mind now looks well neigh impossible to capture on canvas.

When in love we only see the romantic moon but shortly after marriage when the mirage of honeymooning is over, we see stars twinkling in the distance but the moon seems to have disappeared behind a cloud. Falling in love is easy for the commitment is limited, the challenges ahead distant and the rational mind is clouded by love. Marriage changes this status and we get enlightened about the real world, the real challenges and the real cost of love. Life then is a reality to be lived, a spouse becomes a human being with independent thoughts and behavior and we find ourselves adrift together with the challenge to swim or sink together. Deciding on the direction of the shore itself becomes a bone of contention and rowing in sync looks more difficult with each passing day; we wistfully wonder if those carefree days of just being in love will return to us again. This is crunch time when we need to put our learning to the test, dunk our egos, find common ground for progress and relish the togetherness now and for eternity.  Within your HeART lies the ART of painting a colorful life of togetherness.

Remember: Ignorance is bliss; till knowledge knocks open your senses to reality.

Try these:

  1. Go around asking people for a feedback about yourself. Encourage them to give you negative feedback too. It will be a challenging process, for you may not agree with the negative feedback and may be tempted to make an enemy of those who gave you such feedback Resist all such temptation but make sure you reflect on the feedback and try to improve your areas of weakness.
  2. List out your strengths. Compare this list with the feedback list. If there are contradictions pay close attention to them and try to reconcile your actions and behavior to ensure the feedback is not wasted. Ask yourself if you have fully utilized your strengths. Find ways and means of using your strengths more often.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Change

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.  George Bernard Shaw

Change is the natural progression of life. Every day is a new day with a new set of challenges, a new source of energy and a variety of trials and triumphs. As individuals too we are growing older, perhaps wiser too, growing in girth perhaps and definitely growing in experience. However, it is our passive acceptance of change that creates problems for us. We see change merely as something inevitable and not as an opportunity.

When we realize that we need to respond to change proactively by acknowledging it, adopting or adapting to it and by embracing it whole heartedly even though we do not like it, that is when change becomes our allay, our catalyst for growth. If we simply examine the changes that have occurred in the last few years, we can see the rapid influence of changing technology, changing values, changing attitudes on our social, economic and emotional fabric. We need to constantly adjust ourselves to these changes or we soon find ourselves stranded alone on an island of ignorance with crisscrossing pathways way of confusion and dimly lit experiences which shatter our pride, ego and enthusiasm.

Once we have made peace with the rapid changes around us, we can be sure that these changes will not steamroll you and flatten you on the highway to tomorrow. More importantly, you will then become an agent for change, a crusader for new systems and perhaps even the master of change. You will be faced with doubts, your abilities will be challenged and sometimes you have to traverse a lonely road but when you reach the end of the trail you would be ahead of the pack, for the rest would have opted for the old and beaten circuitous path.

What one must not change though is our good value systems, our ability to love, our large heartedness in forgiving and our zest for life! All change will then revolve around this axis and then you will easily adjust to change but never succumb to lures of change.

Remember: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Try these:

  • What are the 5 changes each, that you have noticed over the past 5 years in the area of technology, health care, education, environment and politics? How does any or each of these changes impact you? How will you respond to these changes?
  • What are the personal changes in your life over the past 5 years –look at your lifestyle, education, physical fitness, social interactions, value systems when listing these changes. How many of the changes are beneficial to you. Have the changes made you compromise somewhere?
  • Try changing your route of daily travel. Experiment with exotic cuisines. Read a different genre of books or see a different genre of movies / TV serials. Try to wear some different types of clothes. Experiment with new technology like using a digital book reader/ touch screen mobiles/ using speech recognition software. What were your experiences? Did you learn from the experience. Did you give up too fast? Did you discover their utility?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly inspirational and motivational blog www.poweract.blogspot.com