Tag: Limitations

The way to succeed is in being YOU

13-31-Be YourselfWe are often left wondering why we do not succeed and realize our full potential. Much as we ponder the answer seems elusive, our frustrations keep increasing and worse still we are envious and jealous of those whom we feel succeed beyond measure. The quote above gives clear clues as to why we fail to achieve success that is well within our reach. Here is a simple analysis of the clues and each one of us can interpret the analysis for ourselves and apply the learning to realize our full potential.

Lack of self confidence. The vast majority of us are never going to be in the top percentile of those achieving academic excellence. Unfortunately, there is an over emphasis laid on academic brilliance and that first dents the confidence of the vast majority who lack the academic powers. Perhaps this lack of confidence then translates into lack of clarity of personal goals, indecision, confused mind set, inability to focus, half hearted efforts etc. This then becomes a vicious circle where performance is not up to par and in turn one becomes even less confident. Breaking this vicious circle holds the key to regaining our self confidence and self esteem.

Comparisons with others. Almost everyone is guilty of this at some stage or the other in our life. Unfortunately, the seeds of this aliment are first sown by our own well meaning parents, elders, teachers and well wishers who invariably try to compare our progress and achievements with that of other peers. While we resented that comparison, far too often we have subconsciously imbibed it and end up doing the same and ending coming to the same conclusion ‘poor me’ or ‘lucky them’. The comparisons by themselves are not bad because it gives us yardsticks to measure ourselves. However the conclusion we draw and which then becomes our creed poses a huge problem for our personal well being and success.

Attempting to be what we are not. One of the consequences of our lack of self confidence and our penchant to compare ourselves with others is the metamorphosis that we undergo in aiming to imitate our perceived success heroes/ heroines. Unfortunately the metamorphosis is incomplete because we only end up imitating the individual without imbibing the virtues he /she possesses. The result is a lame attempt at masquerading as a success while the mind, body and soul have never come to terms with the artificiality and hollowness of the self we project.

Not paying attention to our strengths. In our eagerness to achieve success we seek to imitate others, search for shortcuts and give up far too easily when confronted with difficulties. What we fail to realize is that each of us is blessed with our own unique abilities, talents and strengths. All it requires us to do is recognize it, allow it to flower in our work and leverage it in both our personal and professional life.

Focusing too much on our limitations. Time and time again the biggest weakness that thwarts our attempts to attain success is our inability to get going. This is because we are obsessed about the limitations we perceive in us and tend to imagine failures as a natural corollary. So if at all we begin we do it with trepidation, keep looking over our shoulders for signs of failures and fail to stay the course when confronted with problems. We also fail to work on ironing out our limitations, let them become excuses and sadly become slaves to our own anxieties.

Not accepting ourselves as we are.  Perhaps the one single cause for our inability to achieve the success we are capable of is our inability to acknowledge our self worth. We are terrified of our limitations, under value our strengths, are unclear about our goals and search for answers to our problems around us. The reality is that we create a bigger problem than what exists and instead of seeking the simple answers that are within us refuse to accept the individuality we are blessed with.

Remember you are both the sculptor and the sculpture; it is never too late to chisel away at yourself and let out the individuality in you.

Try this:

  1. Write down 3 role models. Now outline 3 qualities / abilities in them that you envy and can adopt or adapt for your personal growth. Can you identify 2 traits / weakness in the role model that you detest?
  2. Write down 2 personal habits/ traits/ limitations that you would like to get rid of. Outline a month long plan to reduce / eliminate at least one of these 2 limitations.
  3. Given your personal and academic background, what is your dream job/ business venture?  What steps do you need to take to attain that? What are the 2 biggest stumbling blocks and the 2 major gains you attain in achieving them?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Discovering the real YOU.

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Thomas Jefferson

Many of us spend a lot of time pondering over the future and going around in circles confused and fearful about our fate. We shy away from finding out answers to some fundamental questions like

  • Who am I and how do I hope to shape my future?
  • What do I want to do with my life?
  • What are those values and qualities I cherish?
  • What are the fears that torment me?
  • Who are the people I can depend upon?
  • What are my yardsticks for success?
  • How do I go about achieving success?

Obviously there are no easy answers that will emerge in a jiffy but if we dismiss these questions as impossible to answer, the questions would keep lurking n our mind and torment us thereby impeding our productivity, happiness and peace of mind.

The answers to all the questions seem hidden, obscure and / or elusive but in reality they are merely packaged within the individual personality that you are. If you want to discover it, you would need to see yourself as a package doing the rounds in a game of ‘passing the parcel’ where a dimension of you is subtly revealed when you are vulnerable, exploited, hurt, abused or manhandled like the parcel, by those you interact and deal with. When every layer of the parcel is peeled out and you delve deeper and deeper, suddenly the parcel opens up to throw up a surprise gift ‘YOU”

The practical way out to discover yourself now is to unravel the real you and that can be done when you Act with Purpose, Ponder with Insight and Accept the reality with Grace.

Act with purpose : While our formative years were by and large guided and molded by parents, elders and teachers, our dependence on them will reduce as the years go by and we grow up to be mature individuals. Hopefully we would have accepted sane advice and guidance and focused on our values, education, manners, career choice etc. when we begin to furrow our own path our upbringing should discipline us make choices with positive purpose. The learning both formal and informal, our intelligence, our experience, the feedback we receive, the risks we take, the options we avoid are all partly subconscious but largely a purposeful goal driven activity. In effect we never idle away our time or waste our resources but act with purpose to achieve our goals.

Ponder with Insight: Of and on we do tend to look back and wonder about the twists and turns in our life and occasionally we would lament and rue some mistakes and lost opportunities and also be pleased about those right moves we made. Often we will keep analyzing the present, keep attempting to improve up on the existing and make efforts to learn, improve, adjust and adapt to the changes that we experience, perceive or imagine.  We would simultaneous also look ahead and with the wisdom of past experience, the knowledge of the current trends and the applying our commonsense and foresight, ponder with insight and plan for the present and future. Without realizing we would have discovered some key competencies, some harsh realities and the real facts about ourselves.

Accept the reality with Grace: Where we fail is in accepting the reality of our personality. We would need to enthusiastically accept our strengths, our abilities, our talents and our potential and leverage them to raise the bar of personal excellence. Tougher still is the challenge of accepting the reality of our limitations, our weakness, our insipid temperament and our irrational fears which curb our risk taking,  restrict our horizons and expose our inadequacies.  Once we learn to accept the reality of our personality with grace we would have discovered the secret of how to find happiness within ourselves.

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.  William James

Try this:

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1 being very poor and 10 being excellent) your abilities on. Now ask your spouse or sibling or close associate to do a similar rating for you. Compare the results.

  • Managing your time
  • Taking decisions
  • Interacting with people
  • Handling crisis
  • Being creative

Download the attached file Human Emotions  and from the list of emotions list out 5 Positive Emotions and 5 Negative Emotions that are typical of you. Now for emotion that you have listed give a suitable example from your life to make sure the emotion has been experienced by you. Next take a print of the file and show it to the following people and ask them to outline those emotions which in their view are applicable to you. You may make some revealing realities about yourself from the replies of others.

  • A family member (preferably a sibling)
  • A close friend
  • A colleague
  • An old school chum
  • A new acquaintance (they have to judge your emotions based on your interactions)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Acknowledge limitations to learn and grow

The person with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection. Johann von Goethe

As human beings we are all prone to make mistakes, tend to stray from the acceptable norms and succumb to our personal limitations and weaknesses.  Some mistakes could be trifles like overlooking the niceties in a social situation, others could be more severe like not discharging our critical duties and some could be out right dangerous and fateful like drinking and driving. The reality is that at some point or the other we are prone to fall prey to any or all of these traps and usually we try and rationalize our faults instead of acknowledging our mistake. It our reluctance to stand up and accept our faults that is often the worst of our faults for then we compound our error and worse still miss out on an opportunity to correct our faults and redeem our self.

By admitting our limitations, we are doing ourselves 3 favors.

  • We consciously realize our fault.
  • We are able to then take steps to correct our faults and learn from our mistakes.
  • We grow through our strength of character, reinforced self belief and improved abilities.

By admitting our faults, we are acknowledging the fact that we are conscious of what we do, we are aware of what the norms are and that we have realized that we have violated those norms. Many a time, making this admission is difficult because we may have to end up paying a heavy price for our faults. We also are open to being branded as inefficient, irresponsible and incompetent. What we fail to appreciate though is that a fault can be corrected only if we realize that it is a fault. Then we can get guidance, seek out ways to rectify and in the long run ensure that we have learnt and reduce our chances of repeating the fault. By refusing to acknowledge our faults we are merely falling into following the wrong practices, run the risk of making more gross mistakes and definitely increasing our chances of failure.

By admitting our fault we display our strength of character that we would rather be honest and be branded ineffective than lie and run the risk of being caught in an even more embarrassing position. Our character is further strengthened by our willing acceptance of the consequences of our admission of fault.  The moment we admit our fault, we are telling ourselves that we have it in us to overcome the set back and bounce back. This is the reinforcement of our self belief. Self belief comes from a pragmatic evaluation, oodles of confidence and a steely resolve. Finally when we learn from our faults, we are actually participating in a process of self development which ultimately leads to improvement in our abilities and talents. The star athletes and sports men would readily testify to the vital role their coaches’ play in correcting their technique by first critically evaluating the performance and then making the much needed corrections. Strange as it may seem, at the peak of their careers many an athlete has relied on the insightful observation and good counsel of their coaches to turn out superlative performances.

Remember: “Genius has limitations; stupidity is boundless

Try this:

  1. The annual appraisals for employees / the customer feedback forms/ the complaints made by clients are good indicators of third party perceptions about faults. Ask if we tend to constantly refute it, rationalize it, dismiss it casually or simply refuse to acknowledge it.  On the other hand those who take this feedback seriously will invariably use the feedback to alter their style, improve their work ethics, investigate the core issue etc. and in the long run change for the better.
  2. Can we list out and acknowledge 3 of our faults for the following spheres of our life
  • Our family life
  • Our personal life
  • Our professional life
  • Our social life
  • Our lifestyle

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Faults

If the best man’s faults were written on his forehead, it would make him pull his hat over his eyes. Gaelic proverb

We all have our faults and that is what makes us human.  That also makes us unique individuals with an independent mind and thought process, we exhibit varied temperaments and have a streak of cunningness in our selfish being. We are constantly challenged by life to choose between good and evil, between giving in to the lure of vices and preferring the path of righteousness and constantly waging a war with temptations.

There is nothing inherently evil in us but circumstances make us prone to succumb to the worldly charms that are forbidden or tread a path of questionable credence. If Adam committed the original sin his offspring Cain wasn’t too far behind; in fact he went one step further than his dad who only blamed his wife, but Cain denied any knowledge of his crime and then perhaps it became a family trait that continues to date. The Old Testament is full of even more perverse human failings that would perhaps shock and sound extremely repulsive. The Ramayana and Mahabharata too outline the myriad hues of human failings be it treachery, jealousy, cunningness, power struggle, double crossing and Greek Mythology too does not lag far behind in bringing to the fore the faults of human kind.

While we are often tempted to point fingers at others, gossip about another’s wicked ways or slander another person without batting an eye lid, we remain either blissfully ignorant of our faults or conveniently ignore or rationalize our acts of omission and commission. If we just accepted the feedback that our well wishers and close associates give us and pondered over them it will dawn on us that we are guilty not just of committing a fault but worse still is our crime of condoning another’s indiscretions and deliberate acts of illegality and crime. This brings to fore another aspect of our faults viz. us turning our face away from an unpardonable act and thereby giving our tactical support albeit surreptitiously and covertly.

When we seek to condemn another and label a person as bad, wicked or devilish we must be ready to accept a similar charge being laid at our doorstep for none is so pure and holy that our conscience is spotless or our conduct blameless.

Remember: “Think of your own faults the first part of the night when you are awake, and the faults of others the latter part of the night when you are asleep” Chinese Proverbs

Try these:

  1. Ask your very close friends and colleagues to tell you 5 areas of improvement. If you analyze these you will be able to pinpoint those areas of your personality that needs a major make over. Prioritize them and work on them systematically.
  2. Sometimes our major fault is bad mouthing another either by being very critical or gossiping or insinuation. Look out for these apparently minor faults but deeply hurting behavior. You also need to ensure you stand up for those who are unnecessarily being criticized bad mouthed or blamed; for silence is golden except when you need to stand up and voice your concern.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Limitations

The person with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection. Johann von Goethe

One of the toughest questions to answer in an interview is the question ‘What are your weaknesses?”  Pause for a moment and think, how honestly and truthfully have we confronted this question in our personal capacity? Have you really answered this question without fear and with humility, without ever rationalizing the weakness even to yourself? There are some of us though who are on the other end of the spectrum, who can only see weakness in them  and quickly absolve themselves of any blame for their failures in life; their weakness being the culprit.

Perfection in a human being is utopian. Right now ask yourself if you have ever seen or met anyone who at some point in their life was not guilty of the seven deadly sins of pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger greed and sloth. Apply the same yardstick to yourself and be truthful. The truth is rather uncomfortable and we are sorely tempted to justify our weakness and / or portray that as a minor misdemeanor in our busy life.  Just as we learn from our experiences and our mistakes both of which are post facto learning, won’t it be far better for us to face our weakness and correct it so that our mistakes are minimized and the embarrassment avoided?

Visualize a sculptor at work. He has an image of perfection in mind and tries to bring it alive in the marble or stone on which he/ she works. How do they go about it? They start by chipping of the imperfections; leaving behind just the perfection that they have visualized. Man/woman when he /she acknowledges his/ her  weakness is actually seeing the perfection within him/ her  and the weakness can then be chipped away to reach that perfection he/ she visualizes for himself/ herself. The only hitch is that unlike the sculptor working on stone, we are both the sculptor and the sculpted and the chipping away on ourselves is arduous and painful; the reward though is stunning and beautiful.

Are you then prepared to confront your weakness and limitations? If you have said YES, you  have already begun your journey to improving yourself. Keep in mind that you came into this world as beautiful creation of the creator, the darling of your family and the torchbearer of the future – perfect and cute. Will you leave behind memories and a legacy that all you know you will feel proud of? You can, if you believe in yourself and you are ready to work on your limitations starting NOW!

Remember: We are limited but we can push back the borders of our limitations Steven Covey

Try these:

  1. Ask yourself what are the personal and professional goals you have set for yourself? Honestly track the progress and if you are slipping behind, truthfully answer where YOU have gone wrong.  If you are achieving all you set out to do, then ask yourself if your goals are too limited? Realign the goal if it is so. Else, congratulate yourself and set a new goal for yourself.
  2. Do you have a dream to do something different? If not, list out a few. If you haven’t started working on your dream, ask yourself who is responsible. The truth will be uncomfortable but face it squarely. What is the most daring / adventurous thing you have done so far. Do you have some other similar plans lined up?  What helped you achieve those adventurous things?
  3. All of us have fears; fear of failure, fear of darkness, fear of rejection etc. List out your fears. Ask if these fears limit your ability and potential. Are there ways and means to overcome these fears?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com