Tag: Loyalty

Insincerity is exhausting

The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Insincerity could take many forms; be it succumbing to laziness, being unfaithful, remaining ungrateful, lacking earnestness or simply being tardy and casual in what we do. Simply put insincerity is being disloyal. When objectively analyzed, the act of being insincere takes a lot of effort simply because it goes against the natural mindset and nature of the average human behavior.  All human beings are born with the seeds of goodness in them and it is only those influences and circumstances that we are exposed to that occasionally negative influence our thoughts and makes us deviant in our ways. Insincerity is one such deviant way in which the human being traverses during his earthly life.

Laziness is the one ill that plagues each one of us in varying degrees. Given a choice we would be happier to sit and do nothing provided we get all the comforts and luxuries of life. To avoid any kind of hard work, we attempt to automate it, delegate it or find short cuts in doing it.  Automation will work for repetitive and mechanical jobs but at a high cost. It is delegation and short cuts that could prove to be the bigger stumbling block and make us pay for our insincerity to our tasks for it could be inefficiently executed by others or the short cuts could give us disastrous results. In either case we could end up exhausted attempting to redo the task under severe time constraints and supervisory pressures.

Being unfaithful to a commitment, a task or a relationship is just as stressful partly because it means that we have to wrestle with our conscience and mainly because we still have to deliver the goods. In effect what this means is that we would have to fulfill our commitments, ensure that the tasks on hand are executed to the highest possible standards and maintain a healthy and balanced relationship. If we are not aligned to these goals, our insincerity will create stress because we have to keep balancing between the reality and the optimum.  Similarly, when we are fortunate to have the benefit of family friends and strangers who may have supported us in various ways, courtesy and decency demand that we are grateful for all they do and if possible at least return them the favor. Either because of our embarrassment or because of our preoccupation or simply because we do not want to acknowledge their support it is possible that we avoid, evade or ignore those to whom we owe a debt. The unfortunate part is that then we will have to wrestle with our conscience and sense of decency all the time and this can be extremely exhausting.

For the vast majority of us, work that we do not like, tasks that we do not enjoy, assignments thrust upon us against our will all generate a sense of antipathy and we rebel by being tardy, disinterested, casual and uncommitted to it. The result is shoddy work, incomplete work, plenty of excuses and the underlying fear that our lack of effort or lack of interest will be very visible and possibly be a point of disagreement and reprimand. This creates anxiety within us and there is both physical and mental exhaustion.

Remember: “No man can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself”  James Russell Lowell

Try this:

  1. In your current work profile outline 3 tasks that you would ideally not like to do but are forced to do since it forms part of your work profile. Ask yourself how sincerely you do that task. What are your ways of coping with these tasks that you would if possible avoid. Do these tasks exhaust you more as compared to your regular routine job?
  2. All of us are guilty of one or more of the forms of insincerity. Identify the ones you are most prone to and honestly evaluate how taxing it is. Are there alternatives to cope with it? Why have you not resorted to those alternatives?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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The riches of friendship

They are rich who have true friends. Thomas Fuller

It is not said for nothing, that a dog is man’s best friend.  A dog is completely loyal, non judgmental, gives itself completely to its master and would never ever betray the trust placed in it. If there is a flaw in a dog, it is its inability to communicate in words, but there again it more than makes up by its phenomenal non verbal communication, the furious wag of its tail, snuggling up and its mournful demeanor when it senses tragedy and pain around. Can we claim to have a human friend who has all these attributes? If you can honestly say yes, then you are the RICHEST person in this world.

Our need for friendship and companionship emits from the reality that we are social creatures who cannot live in isolation. When seen from this point of view, it follows that we will naturally socialize, befriend people, perhaps dislike some and be indifferent to the vast majority. We would also identify some people with whom we share a good connect, feel comfortable in their company, trust them even though occasionally they may hurt you, rush to them when emergency calls and magnanimously forgive them when they may have wronged us. The common name given to such a relationship that evolves is friendship. It may begin as a casual acquaintance, with more interaction it can develop into a friendship, with proximity it can blossom into a good friendship and with intimacy and trust it can flower into an intimate friendship.

Most friendships would be seen as having a strong commonality like similar age group, social status, financial status, shared value systems and styles and of course common interests and strong mutual bonding. However, there could also plenty of friendships that hinge simply on the pure comfort level that people enjoy with no other major commonality to speak about. Comfort level holds the key to enduring friendships. We might have strongly differing views on many issues but if we have the comfort level and trust a strong friendship will naturally blossom and there would be strong ties that bind. In such intimate friendships there can be gross misunderstandings, deep hurts caused by one another and even the threat of broken friendship might loom in the background, but most intimate friendships over come it as long as the ego does not play spoilt sport. Saying sorry and the magnanimity of forgiveness must be embedded in an in the friendship to qualify to be called an intimate friendship.

The bond of friendship transcends widely differing thought process, diametrically opposite styles and even possibly complete different value systems simply because friends find a treasure of love that tramples over these differences.  Some friendships involve tremendous sacrifices like lovers who are hounded by societal pressures or standing by a friend accused of gross misdeeds. It is these visible examples of boding that become so priceless that such friends actually believe that they have the greatest treasure the treasure of enduring friendship. In some extreme cases, friendships may have to be sacrificed for it to be really realized as it would happen if two ardent lovers have to give up their passions just so that social stigma and ostracization will not make life hell for either one or both of the parties involved. The ultimate testimony to the riches of friendships is ironically in the sacrifice that a person makes with his life to ensure longevity for the friend. The battle field is resplendent with examples of such rich and heroic friendships.

Remember: “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.”

Try this:

  1. Can you think of the 3 greatest sacrifices you have made for a friend? Did you feel these sacrifices were acknowledged by the friend? Do you regret not having stood by your friend at any time? Do you remember the time when a friend let you down badly? How did you feel and how did you react then?
  2. Read the poignant Eulogy to a Dog by George Graham Vest by clicking this link http://www.milwinkennel.com/poems/FaithfulFriend.htm

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com