We are nearing the end of this calendar year. This is a time when there is a tendency to look back and wonder how well the year gone by has been. For many people there is a tinge of regret that one has not made the best of the time we were bestowed. We lament the missed opportunities, the strained relationships and our own tardiness in not being self starters and movers and shakers. Yet if we take a pause and focus on just all that we did right, all the successes we have enjoyed and the appreciation we have received, perhaps we would discover that the year gone by has been exceptionally good. We need to focus on the right actions we took, the good we encountered and our blessings rather than on trying to rationalize the negatives in our life.
An important lesson we can learn from appreciating the year gone by is that many of our successes may not have created waves, nor would they have impacted many people or possibly they looked too trifle. Yet we recollect these moments because they made a difference to us. The reasons we value these moments and cherish it are as under:
- We did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. E.g. stop our vehicle and help a disabled person cross the street or spend time with a friend facing a crisis or visit a sick person who yearned for some company.
- We did not aim to please others as much as we did it to align our moral compass to our values. E.g. refusing to succumb to the temptation to copy despite knowing that you could fail in the exam or actively participating in a cause you root for even if it meant retribution from people in authority.
- We did our best under the circumstances, for we focused on our strengths not our limitations. E.g. Volunteering to help when there is a calamity or Doing the most mundane task assigned because no one else was willing to do it.
- We would have regretted not doing it then even if the consequences were hard on us subsequently. E.g. Making that extra effort to attend a friend’s wedding and sacrificing your annual visit to your hometown or sacrificing your free time and patiently teaching the neighbor’s kids mathematics because they were weak in it or sacrificing your weekends to help a new colleague settle down in the city.
Carry the spirit of doing what is right into the New Year and you will realize how blessed you are; you don’t need an applause, you don’t require special motivation, you don’t have seek approval and most of all you don’t have to ever regret anything you do.
- Surprise 3- 5 people with an unexpected gift each.
- Surprise yourself by trying to do something different. Maybe you could trying singing along with a carol singing group or become a Santa at the local departmental store or just experiment with your baking skills.
- Start writing down your New Year resolutions. Ensure there are at least 2 things that you have never attempted in the past but want to give a serious try in the coming year.
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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We are betrayed by what is false within. George Meredith
One of the easiest signs to spot is someone lying because there is an involuntary tendency to look away from the others person eyes while lying. Body language experts will be able to spot numerous meanings in our actions and mannerism which would reveal a lot more than what our words convey. The rule of the game is simple; we cannot hide our emotions even if we can mask our thoughts when expressing ourselves in words or deeds. It obviously stands to reason that it is best that we be true to our innermost feelings rather than put on a façade. Unfortunately the ways of the world are so crooked that we are forced to either adopt or adapt to that or risk being in a minority or being ostracized.
So the question one needs to ask is if the old adage of ‘honesty is the best policy’ still holds true in today’s world. The reality is that the adage still holds very true but its implementation poses a huge problem for the overwhelming majority. There are numerous reasons why the average person finds it difficult to traverse the straight and narrow path of transparency and honesty. To begin with, the general value systems of the world have undergone a major metamorphosis. We too naturally are pressurized to adapt to this change and therefore we rationalize our attitudes and behavior thereby deviating from our core values and morals. E.g. taking a gift from a supplier is not longer taboo for a purchase executive and giving it is the norm for the suppliers. The purchase executive is certain that the gift won’t influence his decisions and the supplier is certain that the gift is just a token of festivity and won’t have any bearing on the business decisions.
The numerous temptations that abound are the second major reason for us being false within. We are constantly being lured by false advertisements, tantalizing models, quick rich schemes, false promises etc. Once we fall prey, then we are no longer ashamed of the consequences. Thereafter, we convince ourselves that we are indulging in harmless activity and that we are simply stretching the rule book to keep up with the times. Most of us lack the moral courage to be different from the crowd and to stand firm and true to our personal values systems. E.g a studious student who is pressurized to allow a dullard to copy from his answer sheet, will find it difficult to handle the group pressure exerted. Thereafter, the studious student in pursuit of getting full marks would not be too repulsed by the idea of copying if it means he can get that one mark that will make the big difference.
There are many times when our own falseness pricks our own conscience hard and some of us do try hard to traverse the road less travelled by. Many a time this happens when our bluff is called or when we find it too hard to suppress our person repulsion of our own double standards. This actually reflects the reality that sooner or later our falseness betrays us and we make a valiant attempt to right the wrong. It is rightly said that if one sticks to the truth then one will not have to remember the numerous lies that one would otherwise have to resort to order to keep our lie going. It is also good to be aware of our own tone, choice of words, rate of speech, mannerisms and body language for they are the ones that betray us first when we are false inside. Eg. Sarcasm is all about interpreting the words spoken through the timing, the choice of words, the background of communication and the tone and style in which the comment is delivered.
Remember: “False happiness renders men stern and proud, and that happiness is never communicated. True happiness renders them kind and sensible, and that happiness is always shared.” Charles de Montesquieu
- Play the card game called bluff. It succinctly brings out the difficulty of being poker faced when lying and the manner in which other interpret body language.
- Jot down the three most embarrassing moments when you lied and were caught red handed. Also jot down the three acts of falseness that you committed and were never caught but its memory makes you ashamed.
This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
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