Tag: Pain

Sadness is inescapable but…

Sadness is almost never anything but a form of fatigue. André Gide

It is an inescapable part of life, yet sadness isn’t welcome and so people react to sadness in varied ways. While many people openly display their distraught image through tears and wailing, there are others who keep a stoic and glum face but most people suppress the tears welling up and grieve deeply within and carry their personal burden in their hearts.  Anything negative is a cause of sadness but the intensity varies with the magnitude of the impact of the negativity, on those whom it affects. From failures in exams to failures in relationship to suffering from illness and the death of close relatives and friends the list of woes that perpetrate sadness are innumerable and people react in varied ways to it.

If tears are common expression of sadness the more difficult reactions range from silence to withdrawal and anger to temporary irrationality but it is when is harder when people suffer from depression and resort to the ultimate act of suicide that sadness moves to a different plane. The more personal the grief the harder it is to overcome. A death of a parent or sibling or very close loved one perhaps ranks very high in the list of events with the heighted sadness quotient. If the event is sudden and the person involved relatively young and popular, this sadness quotient goes up dramatically. Most other causes for failure rank relatively lower though breaking down of marriage and estrangement of friends would affect a person in almost the similar way for it is death of a relationship!

If one were to closely analyze the concept of sadness one would make a profound discovery that while sadness is a very painful and difficult experience to go through, time is a great healer. Time dulls the pain and we reconcile to the reality. The experience of the sadness though, remains etched in our heart and at times when our emotions are not on even keel and the cares of the world tire us out and frustrate us, memories of those poignant moments keep recurring and we lapse into a resigned state of sadness and hopelessness. While our mind accepts the reality of the sad experience our heart pines to connect with that pain for it provides us a solace that life can’t get worse and that we can still overcome despite being mentally and physically fatigued.

The best antidote for sadness is a good cry followed by the physically comfort of a hug from loved ones and intimate friends. The weeping releases the pent up emotions and the hug reassures us of the support system that is readily available for all eventualities. Ultimately we need to play our part and put the past behind and recoup physically, mentally and emotionally and realize that life is a journey not a destination. We need to traverse it by ourselves – alone notwithstanding the upheavals that occasionally tinge our life with unexpected sadness.

Remember: “Smile, even if it’s a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”

Try this:

  1. Click on the following link and read the expansion of the acronym SMILESee My Instant Life Energizer http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/01/smile.html
  2. Look around and seek out people who rarely smile or those who walk around with a frown or a sad expression. People who are often too critical and who keep complaining all the time too are people who are more often than not sad. Attempt to talk to these people and without being too intrusive try to seek the source of their sadness and give them some encouraging words and practical suggestions. You may have to repeat this a couple of times before you actually notice a positive change in them. However the best part of the whole exercise is that you come back feeling a lot better and feeling nice about having made an attempt to brighten up someone’s life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Sorrow is a fruit…

Sorrow is a fruit.  God does not allow it to grow on a branch that is too weak to bear it. Victor Hugo

Not all fruits are sweet; unripe fruit for example or some varieties of citrus fruits are far from being sweet. Yet we consume it, occasionally relish it and definitely acknowledge them as fruits of Gods bounty. If we look at sorrow in a similar vein, it will dawn on us that sorrow is fruit that may taste bitter but has vital graces in it that steadies our life and our existence. The one sorrow that always encapsulates each and every human being is the pain we feel when someone dies particularly if the person sis someone close and intimate to us. Often the intensity of the pain is inversely proportionate to the age of the deceased but that in no way lessens the ache or the feeling of despondency that envelops us. Yet, over time we learn to overcome that pain and get on with life.

While death is a reality that we are reconciled to, what we find harder to bear are the sorrows brought about by a sudden quirk of fate. Someone close to us or even if we are diagnosed with a terminal illness or we get cheated by someone we trust implicitly or break down of a marriage which seem really made in heaven are varied reflections of the quirks of fate. Even tougher is the thought of reconciling to the reality that your child is challenged in any way. Despite these terrible calamities that make us despair and question God’s wisdom, we eventually accept the reality and move on purposefully to make the best of a worst case scenario.

History is witness to numerous forays and battles of kings and Generals of old who have enjoyed the fruits of success and also witnessed the pain of losing and being prisoner. Rarely does history record that they rued their failings or shyed away from taking responsibility for their misadventures.  They reflect a quality that is the heart of the human civilization, the forbearance to accept fate, the courage to dare and the resilience to attempt challenges again. Sorrow is a feeling that overcomes us at times but it should never overcome us and immobilize us for then life comes to a standstill. Even when sorrows come in torrents, we only need to withstand that test of life and mourn those moments.  Then we need to gather our wits about us and recoup to face life with a confidence that in effect says; you can test me, you can tease me and you can torture me but you cannot touch my spirit.

Remember: “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” Victor Hugo

Try this:

  1. Visit an old age home or a palliative care centre. Listen to the sorrows of the inmates. Do you think you have comparable sorrows? Seek out some of the inmates who spread cheer and comfort to the others. What is the learning you get from them?
  2. Reflect on the most sorrowful moments of your life. What made those moments so poignant? How did you manage to overcome them? Are you resentful and hurt still that fate cheated you by sending you those sorrows?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com


Pain is never permanent.  Saint Teresa of Avila

With the exception of those who really experience acute continuous physical pain, mainly due to some incurable illness, particularly cancer most pains are never permanent. Of course, if one takes a view that pain is part of our punishment in earthly life or view pain as a sacrifice for God, the pain is relatively easier to bear. Yet, the reality is that pain is never permanent, for time is a great healer and death the ultimate pain reliever for the sufferer.

Pain can be categorized into two classes, physical pain and psychological pain. There can be numerous sub divisions, but this broad distinction suffices for a better understanding of pain. Physical pain, has a very important role in a living creatures life, mainly because it alerts you to an illness or malady. It can be symptomatic of a more serious problem than just the pain per se. Just as importantly it makes us aware of the vital role played by the various body parts and pain signals us that we need to take great care of our physical self. A tooth ache can give you excruciating pain as will a broken bone. In both cases the remedy is to visit the doctor and go by the doctor’s line of therapy. More often than not, a correct diagnosis and the right medication will relieve you of your pain, perhaps slowly but in the end you will be pain free.

It is the psychological pain that is more difficult to heal. This is because the pain is often self inflicted like being unable to get over ones grief of the death of a loved one, particularly if the person died, in the prime of his/ her youth. Coming to terms with grief is challenging because it is based on the individuals mental, psychological and emotional make up as also the kind of relationships shared and an occasional guilt of not having shown more affection and love. There are others who revel in the poor me syndrome, where they feel they are victims of a cruel fate or paying for their sins or visualize themselves as destiny’s martyrs. Still others enjoy the guilt trip, where they blame themselves for a loved one’s death or alienation. Some parents blame themselves for their children going astray or marrying against their wishes and live the rest of their lives seeking answers to the question ‘where did I go wrong?’ However TIME being the greatest healer and with the help of expert psychologist and psychiatrist, most people get cured of their pain.

Ego is another prime culprit for pain. Often an egoist would easily be pained into believing that his/ her ego is being pricked. They would see hidden meanings, imagine the tone and words to be sarcastic, feel that they are being talked about when someone makes a general observation or comment and they are in constant self inflicted pain of imagining being humiliated, insulted and trampled upon. To know more about EGO see the post http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/03/ego.html on our weekly blog dated 16th March 2010.

Remember: “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” Lance Armstrong

Try these:

  1. Do you shy away from taking an injection and would prefer to take oral medicines even if it means prolonged treatment as compared to the quick cure of injections? Do you believe in blood donation? If you don’t is it because of your fear of the pain when donating blood? If you believe in blood donation do you donate blood at least once a year? What stops you from doing it?
  2. Think of one lingering memory of the physical pain you suffered? Perhaps it might be a toothache. Ask if you delayed going to the dentist because of the far of the pain if the dentist treated you? Now think of a psychological pain that still rankles you. Maybe missing a good percentage in a crucial exam because you goofed or it could be the break up with your first serious love. Has the psychological pain really gone? If not is it because you find it hard to forgive the culprit (you in the first case and the lover in the second case).

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

God’s Test

God tests His real friends more severely than the lukewarm ones. Katheryn Hulme

More often than not, we remember God when we are in trouble and our constant plea then is Oh God Why did this happen? Troubles make us realize how helpless we are, how dependent we are on God and humbles us into accepting his will. Very often, we are left perplexed when we see bad tings happening to God fearing, warm and loving people. Take the case of innocent victims of terrorist attacks, accidents, heart attacks or someone suddenly diagnosed with cancer or Alzheimer’s or numerous youngsters resorting to suicide; our hearts go out to them but the mouth painfully articulates the real feeling in our heart – Oh Go Why them?

Look at it differently. The more prestigious academic institutions have more rigorous entrance tests and selection criteria, which can be matched by just the top students. Similarly, while we all love our creator, many of us being overtly religious and ritualistic, some of us fully devoted to the almighty service, God has his own plans for each one of us. He tests us in so many ways, through challenges of inflicting pain on us or our loved ones, through the freedom of choice given to us to choose to turn away from temptation or to fall prey to it and by withholding from us many of things we crave for. For those being tested, it is not just our faith that is being put to test but also our ability to endure, and our capacity to love him even when the road ahead seems endless and pave with thorns.

It is but human to also feel jealous, that those whom we see with our jaundiced eyes as weak in faith, having fragile morals, leading carefree lives and being showered with blessings denied to us. We are tempted to questions God’s wisdom; wonder about his impartial ways and get a feeling of being under his foster care. We then let our hearts harden, our minds dulled and our actions leaden with the weight of both envy for the fortunate and grief for our own plight. If we only stopped to seek answers in his challenges rather than search for loopholes in the questions God asks of us; if we let our faith be unwavering and our love for him endless; if we accept his wisdom without question, and let our hearts answer it rather than our minds; we will see that God is putting you to the test because you have committed to him that you are his faithful, obedient and loyal follower. Ask any coach and he/ she will tell you that the toughest, most competitive and the mentally tough players are the ones who deliver when the chips are down, the ones whose presence uplifts the team and the one who strikes fear in the hearts of the opponents. You must be that player, hence you are being sought by God to stand up and be counted!

Remember: God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them” Stanley Lindquist

Try these:

  1. Out line the worst experience of your life from age 7 -15 and from 15- to date. What was the feeling you got. Who was to blame or that experience? How did that experience impact your life? Did it make you more resilient or more cynical?
  2. If God were to give you a choice between the following pains which one would you choose and why? Death of a very close loved one? or You going blind?
  3. When in pain; physical or otherwise what would be a religious text you would turn to find comfort, hope and faith in God? It doesn’t matter which religion you belong to or which texts you use; just choose the words that will give you courage. Copy it and put it in your wallet.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com