Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Patience’

8-one-change-at-a-time

With exams around the corner, it is inevitable that students and often their parents feel the pressure of managing the study time tables so as to perform well. That is also the time when time pressure, the accumulated backlog of studies and the need to overhaul one’s life suddenly begins to overwhelm all the stake holders in this game. A similar situations crop up in our life off and on and the need to overhaul our life is the one common constant irrespective of which phase of life we are in. In trying to overhaul one’s life, the cardinal mistake we make is, thinking that we can overturn all the bad habits we have imbibed over the years, overnight. Just as you and I took nine months to be born, just like a year takes twelve months to change and a day requires 24 hours to be completed before a new day begins, we have to patiently work on small changes in our attitude, style and behavior before the effects of transformation are visible.

The four essentials for transformation are:

Deciding to change – This is the first step in bring about any meaningful change in one’s life. Until one decides to change, the status quo would always seem impossible to change. Excuses, rationalization and reconciliation with the existing situation would constantly nag you into succumbing to the status quo. Decide that you need to change your habits, your style, adopt a different strategy E.g. You know you have to spend more hours studying. You will find enough reasons why you are unable to do so and rationalize your decision for not being able to change and finally reconcile that you are a mediocre student. The same holds true for those wanting to lose weight but not being able to get themselves to eat healthy or exercise.

Planning the change – Once you decide to change, the key is to spend some time planning how you are going to bring about the change and be the change you want. Many of us fail in this step simply because we visualize that implementation of the plan is impossible. If you can outline the map to achieving what your goal is, you would at least have a clear agenda to follow. E.g. Having a clear time table to study is the first step in ensuring you are able to do justice to each subject that you have to study. Those subjects requiring practice or additional study, however much you dislike the subject, must be allotted more time.

Implementing the change – This is the toughest part of the process of transformation. At this stage you are attempting to move away from all that you felt comfortable doing despite knowing the consequences, to disciplining yourself doing unpleasant things, in the hope that it will give you good results. The tough part is beginning, the tougher part is motivating yourself to continue but the toughest part is keeping the momentum going. The trick is to visualize the small changes, mentally see yourself inching yourself forward towards your goals and occasionally noting how much you have progressed and how closer you are to your final goal.

Being patient – This is the most important virtue because without it, one would be tempted to give up. Patience comes from self belief, from charting out progress and being reasonable about your expectations at every given time line. Occasionally you could be slipping as per your plans, at other times you feel your pace is slow and many times there seems to be no motivation to pursue your plans. Remember the number of times you fell of your bicycle before you managed to master it or the number of times you felt you were drowning before you learned to swim. The lure of the eventual goal must be so encompassing that you become patient enough to trudge along despite all the obstacles that come your way.

Try these:

  • Try to play a new sport or pick up a new hobby. Notice how you take time to gain expertise, despite your possible talent in that field.
  • List out 3 changes that you want to bring about in your life. Outline what is stopping you from doing it. Plan and implement the plan to bring about the change.
  • Challenge yourself to overcome a constant criticism that you often encounter either from your spouse / child/ friend / colleague / well wisher.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

15- Leave a little sparkle

Most of us go through life feeling that we are just one in a crowd and that no one ever notices us nor values us. Yes it is true that parents would always have a special place for their kids but even that is often liberally sprinkled with do’s and don’ts and an incompleteness that suggests we need to still exceed their expectations.  As a result, we are often trying to match up to expectations, trying to prove a point to others and do not really offer to the world around liberally of our talents, our abilities and our real self. The reality is that our individuality has much to offer that is unique and that is valued by others. It is the little things that we do, that is more significant than the convoluted efforts we make to impress others and gain approval. By being ourselves we are more natural, caring, feeling and expressive.  There is always a lot of sparkle that we leave behind when we are natural not artificial, genuine not put on and when we can freely offer of our self without expectations from others.

Our natural self is often influenced by our upbringing, our family values and the inputs in our formative years in school and social settings. Our own attitudes, beliefs and thinking too have a major bearing on how our personality shapes up. There is a lot of positivity, goodness, care and concern that we are born with but these can be reinforced or negated by influences as we grow up. There is so much that we offer the world around that is valued, appreciated and eagerly sought for without us being conscious about it. So what is it that we can offer spontaneously, amply and freely that will always sparkle up our environment and the people around us?

A smile is obviously the most obvious and easiest sparkle that we can share with others. With a smile we acknowledge another person in a warm way. It is a sure way to state we notice the other person and a way to silently inform that we appreciate their presence. Very often it is also the beginning of a communication and possibly a friendship and a connect. A warm genuine smile brightens up the environment, lightens the mood and livens up the spirit.

Appreciation is something that every individual seeks. It is also something that can be easily given for there is a lot to appreciate in others. We tend to be stingy with our appreciation mainly because we are not aware how effective it is in creating a bond and building up relationships. Appreciation must not be confused with flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of a good sentiment towards an other. It can be simply an appreciation of the good work done by someone or your acknowledgment of something good in the other person. The best appreciation is when we respond positively to the individual concerned but we can also be appreciative of the person in a forum or setting where the person is not present.

Empathy is our ability to understand and feel a person’s pain and if possible to act decisively to mitigate it by our actions. Empathy goes a step beyond sympathy in that we don’t merely understand the others pain but we also attempt to walk with the person in discomfort and try to alleviate the pain to the extent possible. We are active participants in the process of healing for the others. This is difficult to spontaneously do because we often tend to hold back our feelings and expect others to ask us for our support.

Encouragement is a simple yet powerful technique that enables one to motivate and support others thereby leaving our little sparkle in their lives. Lots of people constantly need support in their emotional life as well as in coping with the stress of failures. Often they blame themselves for their inability to cope with the challenges they face. As a friend or well wisher or even as a bystander we can perhaps try and take a detached view and offer encouragement to the individual concerned and motivate him/ her to have fresh perspective and try again. With our encouragement we rekindle hope in them and they begin to pursue with greater vigour.

Support comes in many forms. Encouragement is also a form of support. However it is the support that we lend in practical terms like financial support at crucial times, being with them physically when they are in trouble, like when are involved in a calamity, that is really cherished.  One could also support by putting in a word to influencers who can help their cause or just being with them when they are at their lowest depth psychologically and emotionally. Even if we cannot support them directly we must be able to at least guide them to find support or suggest to them alternatives to explore. Even the tiniest of support offered is the little sparkle that you offer them.

Keeping in touch has become easy nowadays because of technology. Yet, it is the personal touch that one craves for. Wishing people or expressing sympathy or forwarding messages through the electronic means has become so easy that it is done with little or no personalization or feeling. The real touch is in our ability to talk, meet, getting together and in giving surprises to those around. This does take both time and effort, but it is the time and effort we invest in keeping in touch that sets us apart from the others. The sparkle that we leave behind is the memories of those wonderful moments when personal touch actually touched the heart. The sparkle of those memories would always be cherished and would always remain priceless.

Try these:

In addition to the above explore how you can leave a sparkle through the following

  • Your manners
  • Your etiquettes
  • Your initiative
  • Your impartiality and fairness
  • Your tone/ language/ conduct
  • Your talents / abilities
  • Your wit/ humor/ presence of mind

 List out the following

  • Names of 2 individuals (other than immediate family) who have deeply influenced you.
  • Recollect 2 wonderful moments from your life where someone played an important part in making it memorable.
  • Can you remember at least 2 incidences where your involvement in some way made a person thrilled and ever grateful for your presence.
  • Are there memories of times when you did not get the appreciation /support or encouragement that you sought from someone? Do you still feel bad about it?
  • Do you remember an embarrassing moment/s when you backed out from offering support / encouragement to someone who placed his/ her faith in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

13-32-My wish for the New Year 2014It has been 4 years since I first started writing this blog and it has been a roller coaster ride with both highs and lows. The slow but steady increase in number of posts(485 posts), number of views (over 1,97,000), number of followers (over 1050) and the encouraging feedback from blog readers have been real highs for me. The occasional confrontation with writer’s block, the challenge of keeping up with the standards set and the gaps in feedback or slow pace of views at times have been the lows. However, each of you reading this post and particularly the followers of the blog who get the posts in their email inbox deserve my special thanks for the support and encouragement I have derived because of them.

The post today is for each of you with my hearty wishes for the New Year 2014 and beyond.

Comfort – Each day is a new day with a fresh set of challenges, problems and opportunities. Don’t let go the opportunities but should you miss them don’t brood over it too much. On the other hand if troubles seem to shadow you may you take comfort in the realization that ‘ this too shall pass’.

Smiles – They say a SMILE is a curve that sets everything straight. Go on and smile away your blues, your temporary worries and your toughest challenges. A smile is the quickest way to reach to people and to reach into your own heart and feel blissful. (Click on this link to know more about how a SMILE can make a huge difference to you http://www.poweract.blogspot.in/2010/01/smile.html )

Rainbows – After a heavy downpour we are often fascinated by the sight of the majestic rainbow in all its splendid colors. It is also believed that there is proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So wait and seek that rainbow when things don’t go the way you want it to; perhaps you will also find more than just the rainbow and get lucky with that pot of gold.

Laughter – Laugh and the world laughs with you. Bet each of you would love to have more company, plenty of friends and definitely hoping to have a rocking time. The secret to all that is being joyful and spreading good cheer and the quick fix is simply hearty laughter.

Sunsets – There is romantic tinge to sunsets and as you watch the slow sunset in the distant horizon, the physically darkness that follows actually allows you to experience the bliss of a happy ending and would leave you with a warm feeling of accomplishment.

Hugs – Be it a hearty greeting or a moment of heartfelt sympathy, both these extreme emotions are best expressed with a hug. The touch and intimacy convey far more meaning than anything that a wordsmith can conjure up.

Beauty – Far too often our eyes seem to be riveted on the misery, dirt and squalor around us. Alas there is also ample beauty around us that we take for granted be it the tapestry of religious, cultural and ethnic diversity  or the wonders of human evolution be it in the form of dressing, culinary art, physical art, prose and poetry. Nothing beats the beauty of the natural beauty around us be it the flora and fauna, the landscape, the creatures of the world or simply our own fellow human beings. Seek and you shall find – Beauty to warm your hearts and life your spirits.

Friendships – He / she is poor who is alone, friendless and unloved. Friendships are the outcome of a social need, a commonality of understanding and respect and is the essence of human evolution. Friendships nurture social interaction, evolution of communities and personal growth.

Faith – Faith overcomes fears; after all FAITH is Finding Answers In The Heart ( Click on this link to know more about FAITH http://www.poweract.blogspot.in/2010/01/faith.html )

Confidence – You are committed to whatever you do when you have the confidence in yourself and in what you do. Confidence comes from self belief, purpose and determination.

Courage – It takes courage to accept your faults, listen to your critics and to follow your heart. With courage you can only grow better, bigger and brighter.

Patience – If you have read so far, you are blessed with patience; a virtue that will open your eyes to the wonders of new revelations and fresh opportunities.

Love – It encompasses life in its entirety. First love yourself, warts and all. Next love those around you and finally love the world around you. Guess what? What goes around comes around and you will always be ensconced in LOVE

 Try this:

  1. Find out innovative ways of using the above blessings to cheer up a close friend, a total stranger, a person in another town/ country.
  2. Use the gifts of faith, confidence, courage and patience to explore a new hobby, a new exotic place and a new technology that you have been avoiding.
  3. Prepare any one of the following a New Year card / PPT/ collage / painting / poem incorporating the elements smile, rainbow, sunset and beauty.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

Look back at some of the most embarrassing moments of your life and perhaps it will evoke painful memories of ridicule, taunting and shame. Remember the first time you failed an exam or the time you came last in a race or the time the teacher humiliated you in front of the whole class or the time you were foisted with a nasty nickname. If you were subject to such abject humiliation, the one overwhelming thought could possibly have been to just disappear from the face of the earth. Surprisingly, as you would have realized, life didn’t stop then although you must have wished it ended right then. Even more surprisingly, the past didn’t haunt you nor did it drastically affect your present. Dig a little deeper into the recess of your mind and you would recollect with fondness that your were shielded by a protective, caring, affectionate, understanding and loving people , be it parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors or understanding teachers.

In a similar way there are plenty of us who are often outwardly very extrovert but deep inside lonely, dispirited, confused, wanting acceptance, seeking companionship and /or wanting understanding. Perhaps some of us want to pursue our passion but parental pressures have pushed us to pursue a career that is just another job. There could be others who have failed to realize their full potential in their chosen field either because of ill luck or because there were others far superior in aptitude and skill. For others a minor mistake or lack of judgment or sheer silliness could have led them astray and they repent for it but find no takers for their remorse. A touch of love, an iota of understanding, a word of encouragement, unconditional forgiveness and or simple acceptance would be enough to rekindle the spark of life, achievement and success in their lives.

We don’t need to look far to find such individuals. Some of us could be in the same boat. There could be friends or siblings in a similar predicament. There could colleagues or acquaintances seeking a touch of humanness. You can be the catalyst who can find such lost souls to find themselves. Ponder over these questions and act with a clear conscious and you could be savior to many including yourself.

Can we just LISTEN ?  Can we stop being Judgmental? Can we accept them unconditionally? Can we attempt to understand them? Can we guide them to the right path? Can we help take the initiative to address their concerns? Can we be more patient?  Can we just be there for them?

Action Points:

  1. Outline 3 ways you can express your appreciation to others and make them feel nice.
  2. Can you recollect the most touching gesture / compliment / gift that you have ever received?
  3. What was the biggest failure you ever encountered personally and who helped you cope with it? How did that person help you regain your confidence?
  4. Write down 3 of your favorite quotes or proverbs. Reflect on why they appeal to you.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

All the wonders you seek are within yourself. Sir Thomas Brown

A common problem that plagues many people is their inability to believe that they have potential far in excess of what they really use. Our inability to discover these hidden gems of personal potential and power within us arises from the fact that we are constantly seeking answers to our troubles around us and not delving within ourselves.  So our restlessness comes not from lack of resources but our failure to harness the resources we are blessed with. Today we shall attempt to identify a few of the possible gems that we posses but what we have not fully leveraged.

Self belief. An individual learns to appreciate the uniqueness and individuality of the person he or she is. This will automatically instill within one a sense of self worth, propel one to believe that he/ she can contribute to the world around in ample measure and kindle a burning desire to make best use of one’s talents, abilities and personality. Once a person begins to believe in himself/ herself, the stage is set for them to overcome their inhibitions, ignite their ambitions and impact the world and society around.

Imagination. While thinking is an integral part of the natural process of human evolution, being imaginative requires one to stretch the boundaries of rationality and logic. It involves risking ridicule, being criticized and being different from the crowd. Imagination requires freedom from convention, giving wings to soar beyond the horizons and seeing things completely different from what the world at large sees. Visit an exhibition of modern art to discover your own limitations in imagination.

 Motivation. Desire makes one hungry for achievement and plants the seeds of motivation within us. Yet motivation often tapers off if it is not nourished with the bait of some worthwhile goal, the applause from within one’s own heart and encouragement every step of the way.

 Patience. Giving up, getting frustrated and flying of the handle are symptomatic of the evils of a fast paced world. Cultivating the virtue of patience is in itself a huge task for this needs one to modify ones behaviour, alter one’s temperament and control one’s emotions.  Yet if one were to observe a child learning to walk, we would realize that we too have traversed that slow and frustrating way and persisted with patience.

Laughter. Nothing amplifies the human spirit in all its dazzling splendor as much as laughter. It is an upliftment of mind, body and spirit with no inhibition, absolute delight and pure ecstasy. Laugh and the world laughs with you; that is one time you can be sure you are never alone.

Enthusiasm. Enthusiasm begins with hope, continues with faith and sustains itself with cheerful, patient, imaginative self belief.  Unless a person is enthusiastic action will never be fully effective.  Enthusiasm nourishes the spirit, abets action and zooms in on success.

It is actually quite simple to discover these gems within you – for each of the first alphabets of the points above combine to make it SIMPLE.

Remember: Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. e. e. cummings

Action Points:

  1. Have a look at this  PPT   seven_wonders_we posses to appreciate wonders of this world as seen by a young kid.
  2. List out at least 2 points from the above which you are very confident are your natural strengths and outline another 3 more positive gems that you posses e.g. Being organized,  punctuality, quick decision maker etc.
  3. Try and write a couple of your acronyms eg. SMILE – See My Instant Life Energizer and/ or Attempt to write a  limerick (if you do not know what that is prove to yourself that you are motivated and enthusiastic to find out about it)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

“One of the most important lessons that experience teaches is that, on the whole, success depends more upon character than upon either intellect or fortune”  William Edward Hartpole Lecky

Many a time, we tend to focus more on those events that have left a scar on our psyche, have given us a bitter pill to swallow or that which has hurt us immensely. Often our immediate reaction to this is to be fearful, become risk averse and make efforts to avoid the path that lead to the unfortunate experience. While the protective mechanism that we have honed comes in handy and saves us from catastrophes, far too often we miss out on grasping opportunities for we let our bitter experiences overwhelm our pragmatism and passion. Our experiences should not deter us from pursuing a path that we have chalked out for ourselves merely because we stumbled and grazed ourselves or in extreme cases it badly scarred us.

Experiences both good and bad are the pivots around which the future is built. The good experiences reinforce our beliefs and light up our path, where as the bad experiences alert us to the pitfalls ahead, allowing us time to relook, reassess and reorganize ourselves. The important learning got from our experiences is that our attitude and reactions at every stage determine how we will traverse the journey and attain success. In effect experiences are a test of our character and our ability to deal with the situations as they unfold.

Our character evolves through our formative years and continues to transform, albeit slowly, with every passing year. It is made of a combination of factors including our hereditary traits, the childhood scripting, the experiences and interactions that have percolated deep into our psyche and our own independent thinking and attitude. A happy and disciplined upbringing often has a deep and lasting influence on character building. The role of parents, teachers, classmates and neighbors is very critical in influencing the character that a person develops.  Motivation, encouragement, appreciation, acceptance, laugher, kindness, positive reinforcements are inputs that ensure a fragrance that remains always in a person’s character. On the other hand a gentle rebuke when needed, reasonable punishment if required, firm ground rules to enforce discipline  and impeccable grooming and manners ,   ensure that there is a sparkling diamond like luster in a person’s character.

Apart from analyzing our experiences ourselves, it also helps if we find the right mentor to guide, have a healthy dose of self confidence, develop our ability to be hardworking, look forward with optimism, hone our analytical and creative skills, work around our core competence and develop the art of learning something new and invaluable from every experience. We should also be able to develop the fine art of discernment to appreciate the learning from our experiences. Then every experience will become a successful test of character that becomes a new step in the ladder of success.

Remember: “There are no failures – just experiences and your reactions to them.” Tom Krause

Try this

  1. Read the well-known poem IF by Rudyard Kipling by clicking on this link http://tinyurl.com/ne7rbv.  This poem in many ways tells us how to manage our good and bad experiences and become a success.
  2. Try to list out at least one personal experience each under each of the following categories. If possible also elaborate the learning got from that experience.
  • Happy experience
  • Painful experience
  • Hurtful experience
  • Surprising experience
  • Emotional experience
  • Disgusting experience
  • Exhilarating experience
  • Embarrassing experience

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.
Saadi

Ask yourself if there are habits, mannerisms, techniques or behavioral traits that you are keen on changing for the better but cannot overcome yet. Perhaps you have attempted to change but gave it up or you have not even started the process of change because you imagine it being a tough task. The fact is that unlearning is as tough as learning a new task and picking up something new is also a challenge for we have to first go about it slowly, steadily and steadfastly. Bad habits are a prime example of how difficult it is to get over it, be it biting nails, being disorganized, not being punctual etc. Similarly acquiring a new skill be it driving, swimming or playing a new sport is challenging and often exasperating for our initial attempts are woefully inadequate and embarrassing to say the least. Yet, with a firm resolve and adequate motivation and loads of patience we can look back and admire the way we have conquered many a challenge.

A bigger challenge is putting up with situations and/ or people that you are not comfortable with. We may unwittingly find ourselves in situations not of our own making but something that we desperately wished we could ignore/ avoid or get over with. Since we cannot wish the reality away, the one virtue that we can fall back on to face the reality with calmness and hope is patience. The never ending wait at checkout counters or at the doctors clinic, the unavoidable visit to the dentist, the dreaded feedback from teachers, the annual appraisal exercise etc are but shades of the varied situations where patience is the only virtue that will help us face it square on. On the other end of the spectrum are people who really test our patience. Diffident children, nagging spouse, tyrannical bosses, irresponsible subordinates, irritating colleagues are just a few of those people who end up testing our patience.

Patience is a function of self control, hope, adaptability and tolerance. Unless we can restrain our natural urge to rebel against happenings that we dislike we would never get anywhere close to practicing patience. With self control we allow time to be the catalyst of change that we hope will be more to our level of acceptance and liking. It naturally follows that when we give sufficient time we have a hope that matters will proceed in a manner that we pine for. At times we add up the small changes that we see and make adjustments ourselves and try to adapt to the glimmer of hope that is provided by our self control. Tolerance is the glue that uniformly binds ones self control, hope and adaptability to manifest itself as a virtue we call patience.

Patience nearly always rewards us amply. Nature provides us wonderful examples of it. See the patience with which a spider spins its web and patiently waits for a prey to be snared in it. Look the wild animals in the jungle who stalk they prey patiently. Ever notice the patience of an angler baiting a fish? Has it ever occurred to you that the jugglers who display their skill with such dexterity spend hours patiently practicing their craft till they master it  and even then constantly keep honing their skill with practice? Perhaps you can recollect how you learnt cycling and later perhaps swimming or driving a four wheeler.

Remember: Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.  Saint Francis de Sales

Try this:

  1. Take 3 balls and try to juggle it. If you can master that attempt the same with 4 balls. Alternatively try to master some card tricks that require a sleigh of hand.
  2. On your computer check out the games section and play the card game FREECELL. Technically every game can be solved. Go on test your own patience trying to solve each game.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »