Tag: Peace of Mind

Inner peace

9- 14 April 15 -Inner peaceDespite our best efforts to retain our equanimity, we often end up upset, annoyed, irritated, hurt, frustrated and fearful at times. Obviously these emotions make us anxious, stressed and could trigger panic in us too. We lament that we do not have peace of mind and quickly delve into finding a balm in our religious texts, search for spiritual insights or bottle up our agony keeping silent and aloof or going the other extreme by putting on a false bravado and pretence of exuberance. No matter what we do, finding inner peace becomes more challenging, stressful and at times completely elusive. The reason peace eludes us is because we hope  for peace within by seeking its solutions outside.

Like happiness, peace is an inside job. What one needs to do is focus on the following:

Appreciate what you have – It is a natural human tendency to take for granted all that we are blessed with. Unfortunately, when do not really become aware of how blessed we are be it in the form of good health, a loving family, material and financial wellbeing etc. our mind focuses on what we do not have. We then crave for it, get obsessed with it and if we are fortunate to get it turn our attention very soon to another one of our longings/ desires.

Accept the reality but work to change it – Change is the one constant in our life and far too often every change does bring with it a host of challenges. Initially we fight change hoping that the change is temporary, then we hope to adjust to it and most of the time thereafter we keep fighting to resist accepting the change. On the other hand if one accepts the reality, as we often do when we lose a loved one, then we can focus better on coping with the reality that stares us in the face. Passed over for a promotion, sudden pink slip got, sudden financial outflow for unexpected illness of a loved one, these and many more are changes that swoop down on us, give us a hard knock and yet give us scope to cope and offer us new insights, fresh possibilities and certainly hope for something even better.

Seek solutions instead of brooding over problems – Every problem disturbs ones peace of mind. However, a problem remains a problem as long as one does not find a solution. So one can restore one’s peace of mind only when we find solutions to our problems. As long as we do not attempt to find solutions to our problem we are merely sacrificing our peace of mind. Parents have problems with truant children; spouses have marital discords off and on, there are numerous problems that arise at the work place, fresh graduates have problems finding jobs, there many who have to cope with illness and pain and the list goes on. Instead of worrying about the problem seek solutions be it asking for help, seeking expert advice, finding alternatives, resolving differences or simply accepting what can’t be changed.

Focus on the above you would never notice people or situations impacting your life and disturbing your peace of mind for you have already taken charge of your negative emotions by consciously pursuing actions that yield positive results.

Here is a cartoon that aptly encompasses all the 3 points.

Inner-Peace-Accept RealityTry these:

  • When disturbed, what are the feelings / emotions that overwhelm you?  Anger / frustration / helplessness / sadness / emptiness / agitation / confusion / panic. How do you cope with these feelings so as to calm yourself down?
  • What are you favorite stress busters? Check if these stress busters have turned into addictions (e.g. smoking). Think of new possibilities / ways that can become stress busters.

This post is courtsey www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

True peace of mind can be got by…

True peace of mind is not dependent on circumstances. It comes from the inside.

The most common ailment that people complaint about is anxiety/ stress/ lack of peace of mind. Ironically, almost all of them believe that they are the part of a minority of unfortunate ones with the problem whilst the majority of people are blissful, joyous and at peace with themselves.  In fact the major cause of stress is this belief that everyone else seems to be so lucky and happy and that we are denied that pleasure. In this process we blame everyone and everything for our woes but our major complaint is against our lack of financial well being which we are convinced can be a single dose pill for all our worries and the anti depressant that will bring forth peace of mind.

Negative thinking accounts for all the stress that we undergo. We enjoy visualizing the worst case scenario in the hope that if it occurs we would not feel so bad about it and that we would be well prepared to meet it. Negative thinking can take on bizarre proportions right from blaming corruption and nepotism for our personal woes to wondering aloud about our own future be it in relation to a job or family life or wealth accumulation or relationships.  Instead of being pragmatic we lapse into reminiscing about the wonderful past that we believe will no longer come back and / or we morosely anticipate a future that we believe will be bleak, insipid and possibly terrifying.

Our temperament, temper, anxieties and negative feelings of jealousy, hate, revenge, envy, fear etc contribute in large measure to us not enjoying peace of mind. If we can examine the root cause of what ails us and makes us sleepless, fearful, worried and anxious we would realize that almost of all of it has its origins in our mind and heart. Comparisons are perhaps the single most destructive trait / habit that we posses that eventually wrecks our peace of mind. We compare our looks, our talents, our possessions, our fortunes, our academic credentials, our material possessions etc  and conclude that others are by far much more lucky and we then fall into the quagmire of self pity. Many are fearful of failure, others wary of success for then the benchmark could be hard to emulate; others are suspicious of the motives, the intent and the large heartedness of others who apparently freely give and share without any expectations.

Self belief, openness, gratefulness and trust are virtues that if we can posses or cultivate will de-stress us and nurture peace of mind.  With self belief we overcome fear, with openness we accept the reality, with gratefulness we value our own riches and with trust we remove ill feeling and misgivings and can easily forgive. Notice that all these are positive traits, are traits that fertilize the mind and help cultivate positive thoughts and traits that are within us waiting for us to discover it and bring it to the fore. No matter what the situation, whatever be the problem or however complicated the reality, we develop the mental strength to cope with it without undue stress and quickly regain our peace of mind.

Remember: When you unclutter your mind, you enjoy peace of mind.

Try these:

  1. List out 5 positive things about stress. Are you harnessing these positive things when stressed or do you end up losing your peace of mind?  What are the 3 obvious mannerism that you display when you are stressed or worked up? Do you deny being stressed if someone remarks that they think your stressed?
  2. On a scale of 1- 10 (with 1 being no stress and 10 being acute stress) rate the stress you will be subject to in the following circumstances. Give the list to your close friend/ colleague/ spouse and ask them to rate how they perceive you to be stressed under these conditions. Compare both scores and if there are large deviations between both scores ask yourself the reasons for the same.
  • Your doctor tells you that you may be having cancer.
  • You lose a substantial amount when your investments go bust.
  • Your friend and you purchase lottery tickets in sequence. The friend wins the bumper lottery and you do not.
  • You win a 2 week all expenses paid holiday to Europe but unfortunately you are down with chicken pox and cannot go on the trip.
  • A close family member announces that he is gay
  • You think your best friend has betrayed you.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

How to attain peace of mind

Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst. Lin Yutang

I have been beseeched by inquiries from well meaning friends as to why I have not been consistently updating my posts as I was doing  through 2010. I do plead guilty of being a tad lethargic but more importantly there have been other personal, professional and social commitments that are now competing very hard to be treated on par with my other priorities. I must confess that in the process, the daily blog has got pushed out to the periphery but I can assure my readers that it will still remain a priority for me. It has taken me a while to attain peace of mind with respect to taking the decision to reduce my daily blog to writing 4-5 times a week. Yes, today’s quote aptly sums up my dilemma and my response to it.

One dreaded word that is the bane of those seeking peace of mind is CHANGE. This is because for almost all of us change signifies a shift in the status quo and this means one has to constantly readjust to adapt to the change. Most of us are tempered to follow a planned, preordained path and anything that disturbs this causes anxiety which translates to mean that it disturbs our peace of mind. To cope with change, the focus should be on looking at change as an allay rather than an adversary.  A simple example could be the stimulus that makes us follow a good diet and exercise regime. While one has to possibly sacrifice some of the most tasty and appetizing food, the pain of strain and effort in exercising  begins to both unnerve us and makes us anxious about coping up. If what drives us to diet and exercise is fear of illness then both the effort and the results would be labored. On the other hand if it is our inner desire to feel good, look healthy and be fit that is the stimulant the results would be far more spectacular.

Worry is the real culprit in disturbing the peace of mind. This is because we are constantly anticipating problems, imagining worst case scenarios and oozing negative emotions and feelings. One reason for this is that we believe that it makes the reality easier to bear if the worst happens. What we fail to see is that most of worries never happen and so we have expended our energies fruitlessly. Equally tragic is the fact that by worrying we have often missed out on opportunities and possibilities of learning, earning and growing.  The trick to tackle worry is change our mindset and attitude. This means one has to work on one’s self belief and positive attitude. This does not mean that we ignore our concerns but we build up the will power to address our concerns by having alternatives lined up but after that we proceed to leverage the opportunities that are available to us. An example of this could be those who worry about a job loss if the company is shut down during a recession. If the probability is high they would plan out the alternatives but having done so they would go about doing their job so well that they would be retained till the end because of their sheer performance.

Accepting the reality is where people really flounder. Very often when faced with an unpleasant reality, the common response of most people is denial. Denial simply implies that people do not accept the reality. They tend to fight it, ignore it, manipulate it and camouflage it. They expend their energies in a futile way hoping that some miracle would restore their original status quo. Subconsciously too they are aware that they are fighting a losing cause and hence do not enjoy the peace of mind that could help them cope with the reality. People who are detected with life changing or life threatening illness or disabilities would for example try all types of cures including alternative therapy, faith healing and could even fall prey to the guile’s of god men. Finally it is only when they reconcile to the reality that they actually give up fighting the illness and learn to enjoy the rest of their life. Enjoying life particular all that is left when we run short of time is perhaps when peace of  mind is experienced in its regal splendor and majesty.

Remember: “You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.”  George Michael

Try this:

  1. We find it hard to forgive ourselves for our indiscretions. If we carry this burden then we lose our peace of mind. Saying sorry is a very simple means to retain our peace of mind. Read the following to know more about forgiving ourselves. https://actspot.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/forgiving-ones-own-self/
  2. Check if incidents in the following situations are even today making you lose your peace of mind
  • Your inability to forgive someone who wronged you
  • Your personal negative qualities e.g. Quick temper/ extreme jealously/ possessiveness/ avariciousness etc
  • Some incident from the past that has traumatized you e.g. dog bite in child hood/ scenes from some horror movies / being ditched by a loved one

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Simplicity of prayer

Amazing things start happening when we start praying! Anon

The beauty of prayer lies in its simplicity; young and old, rich or poor, children or adults can all use this medium in various ways to meet their needs. To begin with they can use prayer to reach out for help when needed, offer prayers of thanks for blessing got and can even seek company in prayer when lonely. In fact most prayers are those that people say seeking help desperately. The first reason for that is because our wants are always unlimited but the means are limited. We want more money, more riches, more fame and more material possessions. The second reason is we turn to prayer is when we have exhausted all other means particularly when we face a crisis situation. This could be illness, when seeking a job or admission, when we have lost a valuable, when we are in some sort of extreme personal crisis like a divorce etc.

The power of prayer also lies in its simplicity. It has no predetermined format or style although in many religions they have standardized the prayers to make it more people friendly. Real prayer though is communication with the almighty and this has no fixed outline or specifications. It simply revolves round sharing our inner most feelings, talking as one would to another and the toughest part is to be able to listen attentively. All payers are powerful because they are heard and acted upon but the most powerful prayers are those that come from the depth of our hearts. Far too often we mistakenly believe that our prayer are answered only when we get what we want. There is a prayer answered when we don’t get what we want but that is difficult to appreciate because man is short sighted and selfish by nature. Gods plasn are mysterious and denial of our requests could be with very good reason.

The fruits of prayer also lie in its simplicity. The peace that comes to us when we pray is the most cherished fruit of them all. This is because most prayers are offered when in trouble and the prayer offered give us comfort that we have sought the support of the almighty. Many times prayers are answered in the most unexpected ways be it winning a lottery or landing a great job when we least expect it. Prayer often tranquilizes the soul, calms our spirit and rejuvenates our physique. Our worries and woes suddenly vanish from our midst, our needs seem satisfied and our greed transforms into satisfaction. If we offer our prayers sincerely, you will realize that Prayers have the power to turn the impossible into the miraculous.

Remember: “All prayers are answered if we are willing to admit that sometimes the answer is “no”

Try this:

  1. The next time you pray, be aware of how much you are actually seeking and how little we actually appreciate, thank or accept in good grace the answer to our prayers.
  2. Ask yourself how effective our prayers are if we carry grudges, if we have evil thoughts about others, if we cannot forgive our brother/ sister/ neighbor etc or if we refuse to accept another’s apology but still seek revenge.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

 

Peace of mind

There may be those on earth who dress better or eat better, but those who enjoy the peace of God sleep better. L. Thomas Holdcroft

There are very many people who complain about not having a good night’s sleep and they blame it on anything from stress to noise pollution to TV addiction and poor health. While some of these reasons may have an element of truth the larger reason is conveniently ignored or not recognized viz. not having peace of mind. There are various reasons why one does not have peace of mind. The two predominant factors are fear and avariciousness’.

Fear stems from lack of confidence to guilt and could also include factors like low self esteem,  lack of temperament or  being risk averse. Many of us are guilty of minor misdeeds be it telling lies, shirking work, being sarcastic, responding rudely etc. and having committed the misdeed we fear getting hauled up and punished. We are equally fearful of the slur it casts on our character and reputation. A few people are fearful because they have crossed the limits and could have indulged in serious matters bordering on criminal intent be it accepting bribes, fudging accounts, stealing etc.  There are others who fear the consequences of their own inability to meet up to the expected performance levels or those who feel inadequate to shoulder responsibility. Lack of confidence could also because of lack of support, excessive criticism or the inability to stand up to competition. In any case whether it is lack of confidence or guilt, the fear that grows within us constantly nags us and makes us lose our peace of mind and sleep too.

Avariciousness is nothing but greed and the insatiable desire for more. With monetary wealth and the vulgar display of wealth being the yardstick to measure success, there is a growing urge in people to covet more and more. Avarice people are not confined to the middle class or the poor but they cut across the social order. There are plenty of rich and famous people who will move heaven and earth to ensure that they posses whatever they set their eyes on. In this blind chase for elusive happiness that they seek in wealth and the riches that money can buy they ignore the reality that they are not really enjoying happiness.  They constantly lose sleep for they are forever scheming and plotting to accumulate more and more whilst enjoying less and less of blissful sleep.

Is there a solution? The earlier one realizes that we need to overcome both our fear and our greed in order to enjoy the bliss of sound sleep, the better it will be for us. To overcome fear one needs to develop self confidence, work on improving ones self esteem and focus on ones strengths and leverage that. E.g A short person cannot realistically expect to excel in basketball but if he focuses on being exceptional in passing/ being a play maker and in shooting 3 pointers he has a decent chance of making it big in basketball.  Overcoming greed poses a bigger challenge because we are pressurized by family, society and our social circle to live up to our status. Further it is only human to want more, crave for more and attempt to acquire more. Bigger houses, fancier cars, latest gadgets, up to date style trends etc. are symptomatic of the pressures of the materialistic world. It takes more than just a firm reality check to shake of the temptation of living it up. Yet there are many who are able to draw the line and accept the reality that they will rather enjoy what they posses than chase what they can covet but never really enjoy.  These are the people who are dead to the world when they go to sleep and awaken refreshed and raring to meet the challenges of the new day.

Remember: A clear conscience is the best pillow.

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 5 things that you desperately want to own or attain. Make a detailed note on why you want to have these 5 things? Are there cheaper alternatives? Will it make a difference if you do not have these 5 things?
  2. Make a list of things you will do if you win a lottery of a crore of rupees. Will you stop working or change your job if you win this lottery? If in business will you discontinue or change your line of business? How much will you donate and for what will you donate?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Experiencing Peace

If you do not find peace in yourself, you will never find it anywhere else. Paula A. Bendry

Amidst the chaos and challenges of daily living there are opportunities galore for every individual to find a silent space within himself/ herself. The difficulty tho is that often this space is crammed with worries, fears, anxieties and confusion and squeezing in space for peace is exceptionally tough. When the stress and the struggles become overwhelming the craving for peace keeps growing and we are tempted to search for it in the pleasures of the world.  It could be in the form of  dance, music, movies, parties or it could be in the arms of the vices of the world like smoking, drinking, philandering  or in sadistic pleasures like ragging, terrorizing or brutalizing people. Ironically the peace we seek continues to elude us like the butterfly that can’t be caught if we keep chasing it.

Strange as it may sound, peace is calmness within you and no amount of loud music, pulsating sporting victories or extraordinary success can embrace you in its bosom as peace will. To experience peace one needs to give up; give up craving, give up passions, give up power and give up anxiety. In the real world we live in we are constantly being pushed by competition, egged on to aim for the number one spot and expected to be outstanding every single time you in the spotlight. The pressure of expectations, the comparison with peers and the lure of material success are a potent mix that intoxicates even the most rational being to believe that life is a rat race. Every waking hour is then spent chasing success and every moment of sleep generates a new dream of wealth, recognition and achievement. There is  no time to find that little space for peace.

If we look around we can see the beautiful smile on the faces of the little children, the innocence that transfigures their happiness into tranquility for us who watch them and the blissful peace on their face when they are asleep and we wonder if we will ever enjoy such harmony and ecstasy. If we ponder over the matter it will dawn on us that the children are sans any worries, tensions or pressure to succeed. They have nothing to ponder over nor anything to crave for. Peace is what we are born with and till logic and reason takes over and pushes that innocence into the background life will always be peaceful. The challenge then is to regain that peace by looking inside us for it has been only suppressed by the worldly demands and self centered interests. What is hidden within us can never be found anywhere else but inside us.

Notice how hard it is for us to suppress our thoughts and focus on nothingness. Experience the tranquility that accompanies us when we are in a meditative state. Peace is shedding our inhibitions and anxieties, embracing life with equanimity and being ecstatic for the joys of LIFE. All these you find within you and if you can’t then you can be sure you will be searching for it in vain.

Remember: “Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it”

Try these:

  1. Go for a week long course on meditation. The practice it as often as you can. Alternatively read up on meditation and attempt it on your own. The key is to reduce distraction in any form and to focus on nothingness. You experience peace when there is no conflict within you in mind body and spirit.
  2. When you can, give of yourself. This means that you have to spare your time and personally participate in any form of social activity preferably for the poor, the underprivileged, the disadvantaged etc. Initially you will experience feelings of sympathy, guilt, anger at the injustice and then you will realize that there is joy in sharing when you give of yourself. Give freely and in return take home peace in abundance.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Peace of mind

Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst. Lin Yutang

Just as a clear conscience is considered the best pillow to get a sound sleep, peace of mind is the best tonic for an adventurous spirit. When we are restless it is usually a sign of worry, anxiety and nervousness; and a restless being can never focus on anything because of the distractions that permeate his/ her mind. The antidote is peace of mind. While the cure is obvious, the medication is both complex and a bitter pill to swallow. Perhaps that accounts for the vast majority of us being restless, listless and depressed.

Look around and count the serene, happy and calm faces around you. You would be lucky to even spot one individual with all the three traits. You might hit pay dirt momentarily with one or two people who would exhibit these traits but maybe for sometime but rarely for the whole day. Why look so far; ask yourself I you are at peace with yourself. The realization might be painful but then so is an injection and hopefully the pain comes with a cure. It would help if we can identify the cause or source of our tensions for then we can address it and obviously then you can enjoy peace of mind.

If we dispassionately examine life around us, it is obvious that like the Chinese say there is Yin and Yang in equal measure around us. In effect it is complimentary opposites, like two sides of a coin/ male and female/ good and bad. This means that each of us will have to go through a cycle where there will be ups and downs, happiness and sadness, turbulence and calmness. Peace of mind comes about when we are able to maintain our feelings, our temper and our actions as close as possible to the median in our life. To explain further, neither be so excited by success that we forget there is failure nor be so despondent by failure that we cannot hope for happiness.

In most cases, it is our inability to accept the reality of failure, death, sadness and despair that leads us to a situation where we have lost our peace of mind. Constantly brooding over the past, fearfully living the present and anxiously awaiting the future are typical of those who have lost their peace of mind. What we forget is that Yin and Yang are there in equal measure and that the cycle of life keeps moving on so while happiness is a flavor that one can relish for a long time, unhappiness is not a bitter taste that will last for a very long time. Once we reconcile to the reality that what cannot be changed has to be accepted, what can be changed will change and that life is an adventure that unfolds everyday, we can be relaxed, calm and blissful in the knowledge that we have to enjoy the moment.

Remember: Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind – Buddha

Try This:

  1. Write down you worries. Write each worry on a separate sheet of paper. Fold each paper into four and put all the papers into a big envelope and seal the envelope. After six months open the envelope and add new worries but before that examine the old ones and those that have quietly slipped by can be torn and thrown away. Soon you will find that the envelope has very few things that will make you lose your peace of mind.
  2. Are there irritants in your life that annoy you a lot? It could be a pesky neighbor, a next door pet like a dog that keeps barking most of the time, it could be an irritating colleague, possibly it is the long and tiring daily commute to and from work or it could be guilty gnawing away at your conscience. Force yourself to look at the good thing about these irritants. See what are the advantages provide by the irritants. Ask if your irritants are self inflicted like guilt. Perhaps by seeing things in different perspective you feel less anxious and calmer.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com