Tag: Point of View

We see the world as we are

We see the world as we are

Often we are blissfully ignorant of our own lopsided, one-dimensional and / or biased view of happenings around us. This is often the result of our inability to see things from a broader perspective or because we jump to conclusions quickly. Perhaps our inability to listen to others compounds the problem too. The net result however is that we end  up being ill informed, believe partial truths and arrive at erroneous conclusions that can have detrimental consequences for us.

The following suggestions can help each of us have a holistic view of the world around us.

Be aware of our personal bias. –  Our assumptions largely influenced by our personal biases often result in us seeing things from a very narrow perspective and erroneously believing that to be the only right thing. Our bias also influences us overlook red flags, ignore warning signs, makes us dogmatic and we are prone to seeing things the way we want it to be. Past personal experiences are a key reason why we are either overly risk averse or blissfully foolhardy rather than being pragmatic. E.g. Pushing kids to choose a stream of study that is time tested like engineering / commerce etc. whereas they have many off beats paths to tread on.

Accept the reality that there could be another point of view – As we are largely influenced by logical thinking, we get bogged down in our thinking and ignore views that do not fit into our frame of thinking. Negotiations often get impacted when parties to the negotiation are dogmatic that there is only way to see things and that is their personal viewpoint only. E.g. accepting that the world is round is tough initially because as far as our eye can see, the world is flat.

Be prepared to be corrected – Our ego gets hurt when someone points out our errors. Yet, mistakes happen all the time and it is in our interest to be aware of our mistakes and correct it.  However, very often we try to justify ourselves, defend our view point and pick on others faults instead of listening with an open mind. Our erroneous thinking when corrected actually gives us an advantage; for now we are on the right track. However, to get on to the right track we must be prepared to be corrected. E.g. during annual appraisal the superiors often share with us our areas for improvement. Our reaction to their observations holds the key to our progress thereafter.

See things from another’s perspective – Many times we are so obsessed with our own thoughts, ideas and views that we wade into a conversation or discussion wanting to inflict our opinions on all. At times we are so passionately convinced about our opinions that we neither pay attention to others nor do we respect a differing view point even if we grudgingly admit it has some merit. This also creates unpleasantness when differences crop up and we remain obstinate, unrelenting and dogmatic. E.g.  Our fanatical obsession with our personal food/ fashion/ political preferences etc.

Be ready to learn and change. – The speed of change often overtakes us and yet we are unwilling to adapt to the change. Technological changes are a classic case in point. Either because we technologically challenged or because we are old fashioned, we are often reluctant to adapt to the changes. At times we find it embarrassing to have to be taught by young people, while other times we find it tough to cope with the nuances of the learning. We rationalize that the good old days were better to continue the status quo. E.g. adapting to online banking and similar commercial transactions/ using varied apps

Try these:          

  1. Ask youngsters what are the latest apps and choose two apps that you think will be very useful for you. Use it regularly and decide if it is useful for you.
  2. Outline three changes around you, that you never anticipated/ imagined 5 years ago.
  3. What are your three cherished ideas/ views with which the following people differ completely?
  • Your children or friends or colleagues
  • Your siblings or cousins of a similar age group

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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It is OK to be not OK !

I’m not OK, you’re not OK – and that’s OK. William Sloane Coffin

The quote is an antithesis of the well-known book titled I am Ok You Are OK by Dr. Thomas A Harris. While Dr. Harris’s book is a practical guide to the concept of Transactional Analysis, and its applicability in real life; William Sloane possibly further simplified the whole concept in stating that in real life, a not ok condition is a perfectly acceptable reality.

When examined in its bare form, the statement I am not ok refers to the condition where the protagonist opines and feels that he/ she is not aligned with the world around. This could mean that the person has by and large an outpouring of negative emotion, is not happy, is disturbed, , has strong views, cannot appreciate another point of view and in short marches to a different drummer. From a psychologist’s point of view there could be numerous reasons for it, but what is relevant in the context of the quote above is the fact that there is a distinct feeling of ‘non alignment’ or ‘incongruence’ with the ways of the world or the norms of the world.

Similarly the You are not OK refers to the view point of the outside world by the protagonist, where he /s he visualizes the norms of others not aligned to his/ her own way of seeing things. It could also be a view that others don’t seem to understand my point of view and so they are not in sync with my thought process, my values and my appreciation of life. It is possible that often the outside world cannot understand what drives people to do things that by the norms of the world are rash, stupid or irrational e.g. when a person chucks up a fabulous career to relocate to pursue what is the persons passion like wildlife conservation or rural education.

The message in the statement is simply this ‘ I can coexist with the world with whom I don’t see eye to eye and so too can they live with me, without agreeing with me and there is nothing unusual about it for the world is full of paradoxes.’

Remember: Man is a normal neurotic.

Try These:

  1. If you had a passion in childhood and proclaimed that you were going to pursue it, can you recollect the reactions to it? How many of them encouraged you? How of them dissuaded you? How many of them passionately believed you could achieve your dreams?
  2. Choose two – three people whom you know well but cannot seem to tolerate them. It could be their behavior, their view point or simply their presence that upsets you. Objectively examine the reasons for your dislike of that person. Can you try to rationalize why they behave the way they are? Do you now think you can tolerate them a little more?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com