Tag: positive thinking

Uncertainty has one certainty

19- 23 July 15-Uncertainty has one certainty - possibiltiesLike change, that is a constant in our life, uncertainty is niggle that will never go. Each moment of our life, we are constantly processing fresh inputs and each input brings with it fresh perspectives for us to mull on. The human mind is largely programmed to preserve, protect and pre-empt threats and dangers and hence, every input we get is filtered through the lens of self preservation. As a result, uncertainty brings with it a sense of dread, fear and worries, which threaten to overshadow the one certainty that it offers – infinite possibilities. Once we accept that uncertainty will be a lifelong companion, then it is possible for us to see it as a shadow, that seems to lurk but is never threatening. That is when we learn to face the sun, put the shadow behind us and see the overpowering light of possibilities ahead of us.

Here are some ways of visualizing possibilities that can be leveraged to make life more interesting, happy and fulfilling.

Think positive – Since self preservation is a natural instinct in us, we have developed our senses to anticipate trouble as being equal to uncertainty ahead. As a result we always scan the future for trouble, difficulties, negativities and danger. While it is essential that we plan for any future eventualities, that should not be the fulcrum around which our life should revolve. Look ahead with anticipation, move ahead with confidence; don’t let a few hurdles stop you from proceeding ahead. The trick is to set your goals high and to visualize yourself setting out on an adventure towards that goal with zeal, enthusiasm and faith. Remember ‘ A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what it is built for’.

Seek opportunities – Most people balk at the thought of having to cross imaginary chasms. They simply avoid beginning the journey. On the other hand those who have attained success have always had the foresight and vision to seek opportunities in the midst of difficulties. The great scientist of the world especially those who have found cures for various ailments and diseases have not let their fear of the disease stop them from seeing an opportunity to find a cure for the same. There is risk, there is possibility of failure but there is also the sense of achievement, the joy of success and their vision of contributing for the larger good. Remember – A pessimist sees a difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty’

Accept what can’t be changed – Every individual will definitely come across a situation that suddenly cascades into an avalanche of uncertainties. The death of a parent/ loved one, a sudden job loss, an unexpected health related issue etc. immediate trigger alarm, creates panic and disturbs our equilibrium. The situation is not of our making, yet it cannot be wished away of ignored. While the immediate shock is natural, it is essential that we come to grips with reality and begin to accept the situation. With a positive outlook, one can rationally seek out the positives that exist despite the not too pleasant situation you find yourself in. This will allow us to think with a calm mind, pick up our life once again and pursue our goals with purpose, passion and positivity. Remember – If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. -Mary Engelbreit

Change things by being proactive – Be the change you want to see, is a common enough refrain. Yes you have to take that bold step to begin the change that you want in your life. Change that overcomes you by accident, would often overwhelm you but change that you set in motion, is largely controlled by you and you can often steer it to direction you want to go. Begin by making small changes in your own life. Self discipline is good way to begin. Progress from thereon, to taking the lead to change things that you strongly feel about. You are taking charge of the uncertainty ahead to steer it to a certainty that you have envisioned. Remember – “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” A.A. Milne

Try these:

  1. Rearrange your home and office space. It would be a proactive beginning and would also allow you to feel the power that you posses to influence the world around you when you take some proactive steps.
  2. Arrange these in the order that applies to you; with the most problematic one listed first and going down the order. Outline steps to tackle these so that you are leveraging possibilities to eliminate / minimize your problems
  • Lack of self discipline
  • Indecision
  • Poor time management
  • Impulsive reactions
  • Quick temper
  • Procrastination
  • Pessimistic outlook

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

A dream and a purpose

3-12-Feb 15- Dreams and purposeThey say a clear conscience is the best pillow. If this be true, it is also the first step to ensure one has pleasant dreams and a rejuvenated self in the morning. Unfortunately most of us go to sleep with a lot of anxiety, remorse, anger and hurt partly because we believe life has been unfair and also because we have a lot of unfinished agenda that keeps nagging us at bedtime. Obviously when we plant the seeds of negativity and frustration in our mind, chances are that we will end up either up with disturbed sleep or wake up with a start on seeing a nightmare. Either way our sleep is ruined, our anxiety more acute and the new day heading up to an anticipated disaster. For many, Monday morning blues are a recurring weekly nightmare and that perhaps is typical of the magnitude of the problem.

Yet with a little effort, a pinch of optimism and a large dose of fortitude one can ensure that each night brings us sound sleep, sweet dreams and ample opportunities every dawn. The trick lies in tweaking ones thoughts, words and deeds.

Acknowledge achievement – Every night instead of focusing on all the pending tasks, the unfinished works and the irritating challenges you have to cope with, let your thoughts be on the success you achieved during the day, the tasks you managed to complete, the progress you have made on tough tasks, appreciations received, appreciations given to others, the tasks that have been delegated and completed well by others etc. When the focus is shifted to achievements, success, progress and satisfaction the mind is calm, you are at peace and you sow the seeds of positive possibilities to wake up to the next morning.

Respect ones limitations – Our inability to say NO, our need to help others even at a cost to our self, our urge to commit way beyond our abilities and inability or refusal to accept that we have our limitations creates a disconnect within our self. Our mind is then filled with guilt, remorse, annoyance while our physical self is battling with stress, deadlines and self inflicted challenges. End of day we psyche ourselves into being bitter, stressed and deflated. On the other hand if we are willing to appreciate and accept our personal limitations, we would immediately refuse to take on responsibilities and challenges that are beyond our capabilities. For a brief moment we would feel guilty, inadequate and possibly worry about personal progress but in the long term we would be rid of anxiety, guilt and remorse. Our mind is now nurtured to grow the seeds of positive thoughts and success.

Focus on possibilities – Everyone is swamped with tasks big and small. Yet we let our self doubts, fears and insecurities overwhelm us. Consequentially we let our minds stray and linger on what we fear we will fail in, instead of identifying the innumerable possibilities that we can succeed in. Learn to visualize problems and challenges as opportunities to progress. By identifying the numerous possibilities we are fertilizing our minds to produce dreams that one can turn into reality.

Identify the goal – To channelize our energies and direct us to success, we need to narrow the possibilities into tangible goals that we must focus on. The goal is determined by our passionate interest, our determination to succeed and the price we are willing to pay to attain the goal. Goals could also be the culmination of numerous aligned possibilities e.g. eating right, exercising regularly, lifestyle changes are all possibilities that can be aligned to a larger goal of reducing weight or being more fit or overcoming an illness. The goal is the harvest that the mind expects to reap when the time is right.

Pursue with purpose – The dreams often get shattered when we wake up and realize that we merely dreaming. However a self directed dream is the self starter that helps one to activate mind body and soul and channelize all energies to attaining our goals. The goal is now translated into a purpose to which we are drawn, to which we commit and that which makes each moment more meaningful, energetic and motivating. This is when we till the soil, plough into the thick of action and sweat it out because there is a purpose that draws out the best in us.

Relish success – When we attain success we need to celebrate that success. This is equivalent to emptying the mind and setting our hearts free while soaking in the elation of success. We free up our resources to pursue new dreams, identify a new purpose and be enthused to chase our goals, our dreams and the success we crave for.

Try this:

  • Identify an NGO operating in the sphere of your passionate social objective. Join up them after determining how and in what manner you will contribute. Do you feel enthused once you join up. What will be your measure of success to determine how you have contributed to the cause.
  • Identify 5 social problems that you view as urgently needing attention. Choose the one that in your estimation does not get enough attention or support. Identify innovative ways to pursue your passion to address the social problem, get more people aware and enthused.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

is post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Fill in the blanks and change your life

I am

Self-affirmation is one of the most well know techniques suggested for people to chase their dreams, work towards their aspirations and embrace success. The key to self-affirmation is positive inputs being constantly imbibed. Positive inputs can be imbibed only when one constantly focuses on all the immense possibilities that are around us, when we are aware of our varied personal strengths and visualize the happiness and success that we aspire for. Today’s post is an excellent way to harness the power of self-affirmation and succeed beyond our wildest dreams.

To help you get going here are some positive words, adjectives, statements that can stimulate your thoughts and enable you to harness the opportunities that abound when you fill in the blanks after the words I am

Unique – Yes each of us has an identity as unique as our fingerprint. This is a key strength that differentiates us from those around including our peers, family members and competitors. Be aware of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual uniqueness. Recognize your unique strengths be it your values, attitude, spirit, courage, thinking, creativity etc.

Just me – this sounds philosophical but in reality is just a way of saying ‘ I am also aware of my limitations but I accept it’. No one is perfect and that means I too need to be identify my personal limitations and work around them. I will not be apologetic about my limitations nor would I be ashamed of it; in fact once I get to know my limitations I would be empowered to shield myself from those self-limiting flaws.

Focused on my goals – the goal gives me a sense of direction and a purpose to strive for. The focus will be sharper as the goal gets crystalized. The next time you go bird watching or go on a wild life safari, notice how you fiddle with the binoculars till you get the focus right on the object that you want a clearer view off. So get a clear idea of your goal and you will map your blue print of how to attain the goal with ease. Traversing the path to the goal will be much smoother too.

Going to succeed – Be it Marco Polo or Christopher Columbus or Vasco da Gama each of them left their shores with the single minded purpose of discovering yonder shores.  Their ships were rudimentary, their crew in all probability a wild bunch on an adventure and the dangers of nature’s fury alarming; yet they left in hope, had faith in themselves and were determined to succeed. They may have failed in their original mission but they certainly didn’t fail themselves!

So isn’t it time you decided to fill in the blanks after the words I am _ _ _ _

Try this

  1. Fill in positive adjectives/ words / statements after the words I am. (write at least 10 complete sentences.)
  2. Identify 5 personal weakness by filling in the blanks with negative adjectives/ words/ sentences after the words I am. E.g. I am lazy / I am not keen on a 9-5 job / I am short tempered). Now work out a plan of action to overcome these weakness.
  3. Identify a role model amongst
  • Your family members
  • Your friends
  • Your classmates
  • Your colleagues
  • Your superiors (including teachers)
  • A personality from history whom you admire
  • Now enumerate 5 qualities that endear them to you and 2 weakness that you notice/ are aware of that these role models had.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Disappointments are inevitable…but you can overcome them !

Dissapointments are natural...but...

How many of you reading this feel they are always unlucky and never win be it a lottery, or a game of tambola / housie or just a lucky draw at a raffle? Disappointment is a natural corollary at the end of any such game for all those who never win and worse still miss out on winning by a whisker. There are others who seem to be very lucky but are disappointed that they never win the big stakes. Perhaps most of us see these as minor disappointments of everyday life and get over our disappointments in these situations quickly.  However, the larger disappointments come from our self set (often unrealistic) expectations; be it grades in exams, winning a match, meeting a deadline, meeting a commitment or it could be expectations related to  a large salary rise or  a promotion or worse still expectations from our children in their scholastic, personal and professional life.

One consolation that softens the pain of disappointment is the realization that everyone suffers disappointments albeit in varying measures. However, it is coping with disappointments that are a huge challenge for us.. While the techniques to cope would vary it is essential to be aware that we should not let disappointments become an excuse nor let it fester in our minds and poison our thinking and actions. Here are a couple of pointers to overcome disappointments, quickly regain our composure and motivate us to strive for something even better than what we didn’t get.

Accept disappointments as inevitable: No matter how well planned and careful one is circumstances are uncontrollable and obviously disappointments will lurk around. Escaping disappointments is not an option and accepting this reality is the first step in coping with disappointments. Eg. Flight delays can be very frustrating just as not getting reservations be it for travel or at the theater can be equally disappointing.

Put disappointments in perspective:  Well some disappointments will always be more painful than others. It is our ability to be rational and pragmatic about the disappointment that will bring equanimity into our life. E.g. Not getting a ticket for a movie could be huge disappointment if you were with a date but a flight delay could be terrible if you were to miss an important long haul connecting flight because of the delay of the first flight. In either case it is essential to reconcile to the reality and make the best of the inevitable situation you are faced with.

Seek a positive in the disappointment: To make the best of the inevitable situation you find yourself post the disappointment, force yourself to find a pleasant alternative. This needs a little imagination, a spark of creativity and a stout heart to overcome the disappointment. E.g. If stuck in a stopover town due to a delayed flight, the best option is to explore /discover the nuances of the place. If you missed out on getting tickets you alternatives could range from a surprise fine dining experience to exploring alternative entertainment options or simply going on a drive.

Focus on the many blessings you have: Pause for a moment and think of all the things that you are blessed with. Loving family, decent lifestyle, good education, freedom to pursue your dreams and the list is endless. So the disappointments you encounter are mere blips in an otherwise reasonably good life. Learn to let go of the disappointments and instead embrace the fortunes that you are blessed with.

Be aware that no disappointment can overcome your spirit: Disappointments are equivalent to the little pricks that one has to endure when romping through the woods. We never give up on our trek or hike merely because of a couple of untoward mishaps or stumbles or a scraped knee. It is our enthusiasm that props up our spirit, strengthens us to endure and motivates us to the very end. We need to realize that it is this same spirit in much larger doses that will always insulate us from giving up when faced with disappointments.

Try this:

 

How will you cope with the following disappointments?

  1. You are unable to recollect the location of an important document that you remember having kept very safely.
  2. You are in rush to catch a flight and discover that your car won’t start and you have reach the airport on time.
  3. You pick up your favorite coat and notice a large ugly stain on it.
  4. A long lost friend is visiting you and gifts you something. On opening the gift you find it is something that you craved for but it has the most terrible color that you despise immensely.
  5. You are invited to be the keynote speaker at a prestigious seminar. You have worked hard on your speech but on the day of the address, you wake up feeling feverish and with a terrible sore throat. 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

In the midst of chaos find peace…

13-21-in the midst of storms

The universal truth is that life will always have up’s and downs. It is our ability to be grounded when we experience highs and cope with the frustrations of the lows in our life that plays a significant part in the success we achieve and more importantly the happiness we experience. Managing to be grounded when lady luck and success embrace us is relatively much more easier than battling the frustrations, the self doubts and the anger that follows failures, ill luck and negativity. The post today gives you insights into coping with those terrible moments that shake our belief in our own self, makes us feel victimized and sometimes push us to the brink of a chasm called depression, with suicidal thoughts not too far behind.

Be objective. Perhaps the most important cause of our frustrations is our inability to be objective about events/ happenings/ situations which we perceive to be detrimental to our interest or one that is a failure or something that we would desperately want to avoid. Objectivity comes out of being balanced, not being impulsive, avoiding panic and accepting the reality. E.g. You have carefully planned a holiday and everything is in place but alas on the day of travel the flight is cancelled. It is only objectivity that can bring sanity and some realistic solution.

See Positives When things don’t go as per our plans our disgust, annoyance and frustration see only the consequences never the possible positives. It is essential to be objective if one has to see the positives for often our judgment is clouded by our negative emotions. It is also possible that you have to think beyond the normal to connect the dots and see the positives. E.g. recently my flight was cancelled and while it did upset and annoy me, I knew I was short of time to take control of the situation. After prolonged discussions with the airline staff, they agreed to fly to me to an alternate destination and give me a connecting flight next morning. I did lose a day in the process but soon realized that the overnight stop over at the alternate destination gave me an opportunity to visit a friend and his family and offer my condolences in person on the loss of their son in a tragic accident.

Seek help. When flustered and irritated it often helps if one can vent it out or better still share it with a close friend or family. In the first place they help us let out steam and their words of comfort have a calming effect on us. Often they are much more objective in their responses and they would be able to suggest alternatives that would often escape us. E.g. When my flight was cancelled the airlines did not offer an accommodation and it was up to me to make my own arrangements. While I did try to evaluate options, I also rang up a close friend who often traveled to that city. In a jiffy he gave me the contact details of an excellent place close to the airport which was known only to a select few.

Don’t freeze. While meditation and slow breathing are the most popular ways to calm one’s self, the process particularly the former requires some skill set/ technique whilst the latter demands a fair bit of patience. Both techniques are effective but when pushed to the edge, the most effective technique in my view is action. Movement and activity will ensure your mind is distracted from the problem, if done with a purpose the activity will be focused on positive outcomes and for sure you will get an alternative solution. In some corporate offices there are punch me bags kept specifically to allow employees vent their frustrations by punching the bags. Even a walk in the park can be exceedingly helpful to calm nerves and maintain equilibrium. Ideally though diverting the mind to finding solutions and acting on the responses would give one a sense of purpose and bring one a step closer to finding a solution thus liberating the mind and body from the tensions they were subject to. E.g. When my flight was cancelled the airlines offered a full refund but by being calm I realized that it was perhaps the worst option for my objective was to reach the destination. Last minute tickets would cost me an arm and a leg and so I continued to engage the airlines to offer alternatives. Persistence and conscious engagement helped find a more acceptable solution as opposed to taking up their initial offer of full refund, which would neither solve my problem nor let me have peace of mind for quite a while.

I have deliberately used the same situation of  a missed flight  in each of the examples given above, so that readers can be sure that by and large the technique works in all crisis and chaotic situations.

Try this:

Apply the above 4 points to the following situations and find your own responses

  1. Your exam results have been announced and you are shocked to note that you have been declared  failed.
  2. You are all set to travel with your family and just 2 days before you are diagnosed with typhoid and strictly prohibited from travelling by your doctor.
  3. You are on a holiday and suddenly discover that your wallet is lost.
  4. You have had a serious showdown with your best friend and he/she has stopped all communication with you despite your best efforts to have a reconciliation.

How will you respond to the following crisis in your life.

  • You are to meet a very important client and the meeting has been scheduled after a lot of persistent effort on your part. Whilst on your way, you receive and urgent call from your close friend who requests you to rush to the hospital where your friends nephew has been admitted following an accident. Your friend is out of town and hence the request.
  • You have done excellent work during the year and each quarter you have been commended by the management during the quarterly reviews. You are sure you are in line for a promotion and a handsome increase in salary. You are shocked and confused when the management offers you a more than expected increment but declines you a justly deserved promotion. More shockingly you find out that a colleague has been give a promotion and you are convinced that you deserved the promotion more than the other person who was promoted.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The END or is it???

Effort Never Dies & Next Opportunity
Effort Never Dies & Next Opportunity

As this year comes to an END each of us would have a number of thoughts; many pleasant and quite few pensive ones. When things have gone as per plan or we have been fortunate to be given some unexpected surprises in personal, professional and social life we look back with an elated feeling and perhaps a word of thanks for our lucky breaks. However it is the thoughts of pain, failure, death, surrender and regret that tend to linger longer and sadden us immensely. What hurts most is the realization that you have tried your best to mend a relationship or do a diligent job or for being provoked into saying or doing something that you regret later. You get that sinking feeling that all your efforts are in vain and that in the final analysis, the year has ended in failure. That is when you must see the END differently as Effort Never Dies.

Students in general and those studying for highly competitive examinations are particularly vulnerable to the ‘this is the END ‘ syndrome when despite their best efforts, they fail to fulfill their own expectations or fail to live up to their potential. Sometimes we are denied our desires by a quirk of fate which is perhaps nature’s way of saying a polite NO. This NO must be seen as Next Opportunity because then you are forced to explore alternatives that you could otherwise have never tried. Many of us would have found our true calling in the next best alternative.

If you look back at the New Year resolutions you made last December or early this year, it is possible that we have failed to stick to most of our resolutions. Does this mean that it is the END of those fine intents put down as resolutions? In fact what we invariably do is carry forward those resolutions give credence to the fact that the efforts of writing down the resolutions are not completely wasted. Similarly think of the number of times we were denied by our parents, friends, peers, colleagues, bosses or the system (rail bookings/ air bookings/ movie ticket bookings). Did all those NO’s derail your plans completely? You certainly didn’t let that happen. You took the Next Opportunity available to attain your objectives.

Life is actually a wonderful series of Next Opportunity grabbed  and Efforts Never Dying provided  we can interpret those NO’s and dead END’s correctly.

Try this:

  1. Pick up any old Readers Digest and attempt the Word Power section. It is possible that many words seem new and you could be tempted to give up. If you can with grit and determination regularly do the word power, your efforts will enable you learn a number of new words and enhance your vocabulary.
  2. Here is a little PPT presentation on basic mathematics. I can see most of you cringe on seeing the word mathematics. Now don’t say NO ! Go on try it… and don’t peek at the answers till you have actually attempted to solve it. Barring a couple almost all of them are relatively easy to solve. ..and what if you don’t solve them??? It is not the END of the world…and I promise you your efforts won’t be in vain.  Smarter than a 5th grader

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Being joyful always

30-Joys we experience

Many a time I have been posed the question as to what is the secret of happiness. While I have grappled with sharing a pragmatic answer, I have now realized that the secret lies in just finding joy in the moment. I can see the skeptics sharpening their knives and rebutting me saying you have never experienced what we have gone through so it is easy for you to liberally dish out such ‘pearls of wisdom’. Pause for a moment and focus on the ills and tribulations of someone else whom you know intimately and ask yourself if you would like to trade places with them. Chances are you are more comfortable with your own challenges rather than taking on another ills. Do you notice a sigh of relief that relatively speaking, you seem to be better off.

Finding joy in the moment is not as complicated as you think it is. You need to merely tweak you attitude, realign your thinking and focus on the positives and before long you will be spreading joy around.

Tweak your attitude – remove cynicism; avoid sarcasm; have faith; believe in yourself; like what you have to do; don’t be an escapist.

Realign your thinking – seek out opportunities; create chances; find solutions; concentrate on what you want; remove the knots that tie you up – the cannot, will not, do not etc.

Focus on positives – laugh at yourself; find something good in everything- people, situations, life; empower your being – your looks, your emotions, your thoughts and your deeds.

If you still find it hard to experience joy whilst reading this, let me give you a hint as to why you must be joyful this very moment. Be joyful that you are reading this because it that means you are alive, you are literate, you have access to a computer, you can see, you found this website, your thinking has been stimulated, you have an opportunity to learn, you have made a new realization, you have something new to share and the list goes on and on…

Try this:

  1. If you are given just 10 minutes to write 5 sentences to just loved one whom will you write it to and take a paper and write it NOW.
  2. You have 2 opportunities to win a handsome sum of money. The first is to do a parachute jump and you can get 1 million USD OR you have to give 1,000 USD and buy a lottery ticket which has a 20% chance of winning you 25,000 USD. Which opportunity will you grab?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Handling disappointments

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”   Eliza Tabor

None of us want to face disappointments in any form but we try to be ready to face it when it comes, for the one reality we all agree upon, is that disappointments are an inevitable part of life. While not getting a ticket for a big game could be a small disappointment, missing a connecting flight could be a bigger disappointment and for a start player missing out on playing a big game because of a freak injury could be a devastating disappointment. Funnily enough disappointments could also take on varied hues depending on one’s perspective. A student hell bent on standing first could be bitterly disappointed if he/she misses goal that mark by a single mark but it is also possible that the person standing first is more devastated that despite standing first he/she could not get admission to a college of his/her choice. Disappointments are therefore all a matter of perspective.

The real challenge, irrespective of how terrible the disappointment is, hinges on coping with it. There are 3 ways of doing this and the three ways can be used individually or in consonance with one another which will actually turn the disappointment into affirmative success.

Accepting the reality.  When faced with a disappointment, we console ourselves that perhaps it was inevitable and thereafter we attempt to ignore it. While this is a good strategy when  no other strategy works (as is the case where we miss a connecting flight because of a delay in our original flight or when an unexpected injury denies us the opportunity to play in a big final game) it leaves us feeling a wee bit sorry for ourselves. However when we face a disappointment as a reality that cannot be wished away we come to terms with it and see it as an inevitable part of growing up and a slice of life. (The penalty shooting expert who misses his shot in the shootout could be so overcome with remorse that he may lose all confidence in his/ her own ability unless they accept the fact that 100% success is never guaranteed )

Seeing the positives. This is tough because we need to make that extra effort to overcome our disappointment and actually try to connect dots to visualize the learning and the positives. Here the battle between our emotional self and our rational self is inevitable and the latter takes much more time to embed itself in our psyche. However with a healthy dose of self esteem,  a sense of proportion and the tenacity of purpose one can train the mind to be more stable, visualize more pragmatically and creatively assimilate the facts to draw up a blueprint of success and overwriting the script of temporary setbacks and disappointments. Edison exemplified it when he attempted as is said more than a 1,000 different items in his quest for the filament for the electric bulb and with each failure is remarked to have said ‘ now I know that this too will not work’.

Moving beyond the past. Most of us are guilty of either gloating on our past success or more frequently ruing the past disappointments. While me must soak in the success that come our way and reflect on the disappointments so as to learn from it, it would be foolhardy to be caught in a time wrap and remain in the past. Particularly when it comes to disappointments, we must take up the challenge of recouping, reinforcing and redeeming ourselves by displaying our resolve, learning and performance in overcoming our disappointments.  It is when we succeed that we really put behind our past failures and recognize the core of our spirit and ability.

Remember: “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”  Robert Kiyosaki

Try this:

  1. Think of the 3 big disappointments and how you coped with it
  • In your school days
  • In your teenage days
  • In your professional / personal life
  1.  How will you cope with the following disappointments?
  • Your favorite sports team loses at the last moment in the finals to a much less fancied opponent.
  • You misplace your free VIP ticket to your favorite singers live concert
  • Your prized mobile gifted by your spouse /girlfriend/ boyfriend/ parent slips and is crushed to bits by a passing car
  • You have presented a well researched and well drafted report but you are humiliated in front of an outside audience by your boss for a typographical error that you believe is relatively insignificant to the overall contents of the report .

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

A personal makeover

Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene. Arthur Christopher Benson

 Life, for even the most active person occasionally gets humdrum. The weariness of everyday living and the repetitive nature of sleep and work demands a change of scene so as to help us recharge our batteries, energizes our body and soul and rejuvenate our whole being. Yet, a short holiday, a weekend bash, or partying may not always give us the expected results and occasionally we come back more weary, more dispirited and in extreme cases very depressed. It will be reflected in our haggard pace of life, in our morose and insipid behavior and could culminate in illness and chronic lethargy. While, it is possible that this could also be the result of some undiagnosed illness, more often than not, the real trouble is our mental makeup and low self esteem.

Out tendency to see difficulties in every opportunity rather than opportunities in every difficulty is the first mental block that restricts our personal growth and happiness. When we have a minor aches and pains we worry about having major illness, when things don’t go as planned we worry about what fate has in store for us, when we are chided by someone we seek revenge instead of verifying the truth in the admonishment and when we are given some challenging tasks we are more focused on merely managing to complete it to avoid blame rather than seek out a chance to exhibit our abilities and capabilities. Then there are people who are inflexible in their thinking, lifestyle, behavior and attitude. They remain confined to the nuances of tradition, restrict their vision using the blinkers of sticking to archaic customs and practices and cloak their miserliness and frugality in the garb of simplicity. Worse still is their inward looking beliefs that make them prone to criticize those not toeing their thinking. They could also end up zealously inflicting their views on others without much success and hence getting frustrated with the ways of the changing world.

People with inferiority complex form the bulk of those who need a serious personal make over, both externally and internally.  These are people who see themselves as nobody’s, feel they are just a footnote in the epic called life, live as if there are consigned to wallow in mediocrity and those who lack confidence and have no self esteem. Typically they are back benchers, mere participants in any event, will always exhibit a false sense of modesty and avoid the limelight at any cost.   Juxtaposed to the above inferiority complex is the set of people who have a mountainous ego and an inflated superiority complex. They need to be at the center of attraction and will inch their way into all sorts of activities as long as they can hog centre stage. They can be loud and uncouth at times, can irritate with impunity and be devilish in their intent and behavior. Ironically, what is common to both sets of apparently opposing personalities is their personal turmoil that ignites this unsavory behavior.

What is important is for people to recognize these self limiting traits and acknowledge that they may be restricting your own growth . Attempt to change, initially in a forced and contrived manner, because unlearning is tough as we tend to lapse into our own set patterns. Focus on the positive results obtained by making some forced changes. Eg. If you are an introvert may be going for a personality development or Presentation skills workshop may help you overcome some of your inhibitions. Observe some role models and adopt and adapt their styles to match your own personality eg. You admire the communication style of a leader who uses humor effectively. However you find it hard to be naturally humorous but you are well researched and well prepared in what you do. So communicate your preparation in a factual but friendly way to be effective and avoid all attempts at humor unless you are confident about carrying it off. Finally be open to change and attempt new things constantly. This will enable you to have fresh perspectives, free your mind of constrained views and it will open up umpteen possibilities thereby giving you’re a constant stream of fresh ideas that will stimulate and refresh you every moment.

Remember: They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Try this:

  1.  What is your genre of music, art, sport, reading, fashion, food etc? Now make it a point to consciously attempt to savor something different that you have never tried or are very wary off. Make it a point to focus on what was good about your attempt  and reflect on some new perspectives you got from it.
  2.  Make an attempt to change your route of daily travel if possible or your daily diet. Do attempt to view a different TV channel than the ones your addicted to. Visit a place of worship of another religion. Surprise your spouse/ children/ friend with an unexpected gift . Focus on breaking your mould and being different consciously.

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog   www.poweract.blogspot.com

The benefits of troubles

That which does not kill me makes me stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche

Yes, troubles come in all shapes and sizes and often at the most unexpected moments. While the normal troubles of illness and niggling interpersonal problems can be relatively easily handled, we are nearly always stressed out by troubles that are of a much larger proportion.  Since none of us like any form of disturbance in an otherwise tranquil life, we also tend to exaggerate our troubles on very many occasions and make it look like a terrible cross to carry. On the other hand there are a few unfortunate people who by a strange quirk of fate, are destined to be in a vice like grip of unending troubles and one must doff our hat to these individuals who still manage to retain their sanity and embrace life with regret perhaps but not rancor.

The real trouble starts when one gives up battling the troubles that are both inevitable and unpredictable. Of course there are times when we invite trouble by our own stupidity, greed, ill temper or some similar vice or irrational behavior. In such cases, one must be ready to faces the consequences and invariably such troubles are anticipated and appropriately managed. How does one battle something like a debilitating disease, an accident that seriously impairs the person, the sudden and unexpected death of someone his/ her prime? Whilst people react in various ways to such sudden upheavals in their life, the most important aspect of the response is to accept the troubles as a reality and not to sweep it under the carpet of daily living. When one is not reconciled to the reality of the existence of the problem, one is prone to live in denial and then life becomes complicated since no proof will help mitigate the problem or resolve it.

Some people are able to quickly adjust to the reality of the changed circumstances that the troubles have unwittingly foisted on them. Such people will immediately plan to work out both short term and long term strategies with minimum emotional baggage as possible. They would also attempt to ensure that those around them particularly their loved ones are comforted and put at ease despite their own mental turmoil. Those who cannot accept the reality, have a very tough time even dwelling on their troubles. They could ascribe motives right from their cursed fate, to some terrible past life crimes or to the sins of their forefathers for their fate. Reality won’t change with these thoughts but if one cannot adjust to the reality, they are quickly engulfed by the troubles. Strangely enough most people in trouble suddenly turn more religious and spiritual irrespective of their acceptance of their troubles or not.

Like fire that toughens the steel that is tempered by it, troubles if seen in the right perspective, actually helps one to rediscover the reality of who one is and find hidden reserves and new strengths. For one, almost all of us in trouble suddenly make the painful discovery of who their real friends are. Whilst some come up with the shocking realization that those intimate friends were mere fair weather friends, others from whom we keep our distance surprisingly turned out to be more understanding and helpful. Our perceptions about our friends that were once distorted are crystal clear now. If we objectively analyze the reality post the changed reality, one can get a sense of urgency, a dose of being pragmatic and discover a fighting spirit that was never tested before but which now races to the forefront. Finally it also dawns on us that the troubles never can kill the spirit; it can sap the energy, confound the mind and kills the body but the spirit lives on: forever!

Remember: “Trouble brings experience, and experience brings wisdom

Try this:

Although these links have been given in some other posts, it is highly recommended that we visit these links once again to help us understand our troubles in the right perspective.

  1. Look at this video on the life of Nick Vujicic the man who was born with No Arms & No Legs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F8zK57Wa0A
  2. Read the article Airborne to Chair borne by the Paraplegic Air force Officer M.P.Anil Kumar whose life changed overnight in a tragic accident. http://pallavees.blogspot.com/2006/03/airborne-to-chairborne.html

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com