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Posts Tagged ‘Problems’

12-Unplug and rebootA key reason we get stressed is because we continue to grapple with our problems by constantly attempting the tried and tested ways, instead of stepping back and letting the dust settle. If you have noticed muddy water that has been stirred up, it will be difficult to see through till you let the mud settle. The same happens with our problems and challenges. There is no better example than the numerous devices we use constantly, the mobile phones, the laptops and the near extinct desktops. The simplest way to get it going when it seems to have stalled is to simply switch of the power. Unplug the power and everything settles; then reboot and begin anew.

The best way to unplug from troubles is to distract your mind. This simply means forcefully directing your mind to other more pleasurable alternatives that are stress relievers. Take a walk, watch TV or read a book or get engaged in some activity that you enjoy like your hobbies. While trouble itself will not go away, your mind will become calm and you will be able to think more incisively and get more focus on how to proceed ahead.

Another way to unplug is to unburden. ‘Share your troubles and halve it’  is the principle that we leverage here.  We share our problem with people whom we trust and people who we believe would have some tangible solutions or at least make invaluable suggestions. While we share our problem we also subconsciously get greater clarity about the issue, our mind feels more relaxed that someone else is sharing our burden and the chances of getting some fresh insights from others to alleviate or tackle our burden is higher. Those listening to our problem also offer empathy, support and most of all give us some of their insights into coping with the problem.

The most common way to unplug is to sleep over a problem. This is tougher than it seems simply because a troubled mind would not easily get sleep. However, if one develops a style of setting aside the problem for a fair time, when we re-look the problem new thoughts and solutions seem possible. If one can literally sleep over a problem, the subconscious mind would often work in the background and conjure up possibilities that our conscious mind would not have generated. However one should not be like an ostrich burying its head in the sand hoping the troubles not seen would vanish.

Try these:

  1. Try some simple cross words or Sudoku. At first for those not used to solving such puzzles the challenge seems overwhelming. However, once you make an attempt and try it a few times, you get the hang of it and the challenge would not seem so daunting.
  2. Think of a time you managed to find a solution to a pressing problem by unplugging in the following ways
  • Indulging in your favorite hobby  or passion interest
  • Sharing your troubles and getting answers from another person
  • Sleeping over the problem and waking up to a very innovative solution

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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31-are-you-a-liarTime and time again, despite our best efforts, we are overcome with a feeling of helplessness and frustration. At such times we conclude that we are worthless and that it is best we give up. Fortunately for many of us, this depressing feeling is largely temporary and we soon find the will and strength to continue with renewed vigor. However, if one continues to lapse into this self talk of worthlessness with increasing frequency, it is a sign of defeatism, a sign of weakness but most of it is a lie that we tell ourselves; no one to blame but our self!

So how does one become aware, daily, that his/ her life has a purpose, a meaning and a goal? That one’s life is a gift to be cherished; that its beauty lies in how well we can harness the potential in it and that, it is the quality of the life we lead, that is more important than the length of the lifespan.  Look at your life from the perspective of an individual who has been blessed with the power to make his/ her own choice and suddenly life takes on a new meaning. To quote Justice M.C. Chagla who in his book Roses in December concluded it with these words ‘“Life is many-sided; it has many facets; it has many moods; it is rich with memories, sad and gay. Ultimately it depends upon each one, whether life has been an adventure or just a short and painful interlude between one sleep and another.” 

To stop lying to yourself and instead make your life an adventure, you can attempt the following:

Dare to expand your horizons – We often hold ourselves back from exploring, experimenting and expanding our horizons because of our fear of failure, fear of the repercussions and fear of moving away from our comfort zone. There is always a first time for everything; so unless you try you will never know if you like it, love it or hate it. Many a time you will discover facets of yourself that are  your blind to, by merely widening your horizons and experimenting with new ideas/ thoughts / activities.

Challenge yourself daily – Never do a task in a routine manner; it gets boring, repetitive and definitely torturous after some time. While you cannot avoid the routine, you can try to add some color to the routine by finding something challenging in it; doing it differently; adding color to it. E.g. Although telephone operators are a dying breed now in the old days they used to hold a key role. Their job could get boring and routine. However I have come across telephone operators who kept themselves motivated by trying to identify the caller by their voice and style and politely greeting them when they called. I have heard of another person who was a talented artist. This person often drew a caricature of the persons who frequently called based purely on the voice of the person. If and when that person visited that office, the drawing would be gifted to the person and it had a remarkable accuracy.

Keep trying – You grow when you work smarter, do better and grow faster. The challenge is to be better than what you were yesterday. Life is not a race with others; it must be an adventure to attempt new things, dare to push your boundaries and to make things happen. So reset your goals, attempt it. If you succeed repeat the process of resetting your goals.  If you fail, try again till your attain what you set out to do.  Read the heroics of Károly Takács by clicking on the following link to know more about trying http://tinyurl.com/zgtqfx3 or  http://tinyurl.com/zbp8hry

Discover your worth – Each of us is blessed with some fine qualities, good virtues and multiple talents; discovering them may pose a challenge. While some of these blessings are easily identifiable, it is discovering the hidden blessings that become challenging. There is also a grave danger that we take for granted the blessings that are very visible and hence, when faced with an impediment or difficulty that is tricky, we lie to ourselves that we are worthless. Instead if probe a little and relook our abilities and talents we would suddenly realize that we have a lot of options still to be explored. Discover your worth and you won’t have to lie to yourself ever.

Try these:

  1. An exotic destination you would like to visit
  2. A social service activity that your keen on doing
  3. A fun activity that you would love to indulge in
  4. A new investment you would like to make
  5. A bad habit you would like to give up.

Your challenge is to put a time line on each one. Now begin with the chit with the shortest timeline and ensure you complete it before you begin the next one. It will be worth your while to seriously do it.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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8 - Refocus and get clarity

Clarity of thought is a quality that is essential for every individual so that he /she can progress forward in the right direction. Unfortunately for a variety of reasons, individuals have always grappled with the problem of confusion, an inability to be decisive and worse of constantly looking back and wondering if they chose their path wisely. Most of our lives we have been told to avoid problems. In school one is taught to solve problems. Most of our adult life we are anticipating problems and seeking ways to avoid it. As a result the problem overwhelms us, we are hell bent on avoiding or solving problems and we are apprehensive of moving away from the beaten path lest we encounter problems that we have never experienced. So instead of exploring and discovering we prefer to gingerly and tentatively traverse on known paths occasionally daring to venture into some shallow waters. Our horizons are limited our growth is stunted and our sense of achievement is scaled down.

Today the startups, the youngsters having dreams of alternative professions and those leapfrogging from staid professions to dynamic alternatives are tribute to mind set change from problem avoidance to solution finding. Our training of being defensive and risk averse has actually prepared us to easily reorient our thinking into seeking problems and finding solutions. Instead of letting your mind constantly worry about the problem, let it now dwell in anticipation of finding alternative solutions. With this changed orientation in our thinking we allow our creative self to take over. Problems are merely irritants, solutions are there to be found and in finding the solutions you discover your potential, create something unique and possibly even build a new paradigm of success for yourself. Man’s inability to fly was a problem since evolution. Those who saw it as a problem and did nothing about it rationalized that we really didn’t need to fly and so came up with alternative means of transportation. The Wright brothers on the other hand viewed the inability to fly as a problem deserving an appropriate solution. Their aircraft crude as it may have been pioneered the aircraft industry later. The hot air balloon and the drones are also examples of how solution centric answers can become very effective.

We need to watch out for three impediments that could take away our focus from being solution centric

Fear of the problem – It is true that every problem comes with its share of anxiety. When we let this anxiety overtake our rationality we remain problem centric. Our anxiety increases with the passing of time and no acceptable solution visible on the horizon. On the other hand if we analyze the problem dispassionately, we would be able to appreciate the varied dimensions of the problem and perhaps even see various alternative solutions peeping from some corners. Pick up a newspaper and try to solve the crosswords or Sudoku problem in it.

Distraction due to anxietyBefore you attempt the above keep a personal time limit to solve the problem. Notice how you get more tense, distracted and frustrated that the time is running out. Your attention is now drawn towards the deadline rather than the problem itself. This distraction will take away your concentration. On the other hand if you focus on finding solutions you will get at least some answers by the time the deadline approaches.

Urge to disown the problem – Very often we just want to somehow get rid of the problem. If possible we try to pass it on to others. If not we try to find excuses for the problem still being there. Very often we try to find someone to blame for the problem. This urge to get rid of the problem, to disown the problem, to pass the buck is our way of escapism. It neither helps in getting a solution nor does it ease our anxiety for the problem persists.

Watch out for the above and immediately change your thinking to finding a solution and keep seeking alternate solutions till you have ample alternatives to choose the best one. Yes problems often come with many many solutions. Keep searching for the best one.

Try this:

Click on this link to get an idea of how to FOCUS

You are given a barometer and asked to measure the height of a building. Think of 3 possible solutions to the problem. (Having a science inclination would help but oh yes every one can attempt it)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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11- 27 April 15- The challengeSo what are your fears; your apprehensions; your worries; your concerns? Are there issues you keep running away from, in the fond hope that those issues will sort themselves out over time? At times do you suddenly feel panicky, anxious, agitated, terrified, merely thinking about certain matters? If you answer Yes to any of the questions above, the good news is that you are not alone in trying to face your concerns; alas the bad news is that you have to face up to your fears all alone. True you have family and friends who will be supportive and encouraging but your fears are unique to you and it is a challenge to square up to it. Yet if a Helen Keller could lead a happy and productive life despite being born without the faculties of hearing and more critically sight, for most of us, our concerns would never be of that magnitude unless you let your mind imagine it to be of a much more serious nature.

Here is how you can stop running away from your worries and instead turn around and face your anxieties squarely and actually wrestle it down.

Take a fresh look at your problems. This is the toughest part of most problems because when we are fearful we lose focus, lack objectivity and tend to club different issues to imagine a huge problem. This is particularly true with our rocky relationships with others as it is regarding our monetary troubles as also with our work related concerns. Then again when we let our problems overwhelm us we are too terrified to pause and analyze our problem for it is a painful experience and one from which we would rather run away. Most problems exist because we let it remain in our mind and keep rerunning the tape to feel sorry for ourselves rather than to analyze what went wrong and what can be done to undo the damage or make a fresh start.

Work on finding a solution. Most problems are a result of our own casualness, negligence, inability to nip issues in the bud. Of course there are problems that happen suddenly like an accident or a mugging. In both cases, finding a solution should be our priority. However the normal tendency is to apportion blame, rationalize how the problem was not of your making and wallow in self pity. What is broken needs to be fixed, that which is an impediment has to be circumvented and what cannot be changed has to be accepted with grace and with the dignity to walk with your head held high.

Be grateful for your blessings. It is natural for us to magnify our problems and play down our blessings since we take our blessings for granted. Problems get magnified because we get obsessed by it. Our blessings become microscopic because when the going is good we take it as our right and never pay attention to it. It is only when we can put both our problems and our blessings on even keel that we can truly appreciate the enormity of our blessings and then realize that our problems are relatively insignificant in comparison. Ask yourself if your take your abundance of health, wealth and happiness for granted. Look around and see the humongous population around us who are relatively less blessed than us. In comparison to their problems are your problems relatively minor. Do you see them continue to laugh, love and live with hope. So what stops you from doing the same with the same energy and enthusiasm?

Think again. Stop running away and you will come face to face with the demons in your mind and for sure you can stare them down, trample over them, confront them with daring and make them slink away. Don’t let them chase you forever.

Try these:

Imagine yourself to be a perfectly normal human being with one exception; you have no limbs. How terrible would that be? Is that the worst thing that can happen to you and destroy your zest for life? Click on the link to discover how life is what you make it to be. http://tinyurl.com/knu95gl

What will you do if you are told that the rest of your life is just less than a year away? Would you start asking why me? Would you go into depression? Click on this link to realize how one can be appreciative and grateful for all one has been given. http://tinyurl.com/bpesfbf 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Let your dreams lead you

ImageFor a rather long stretch of time for a variety of reasons my blog posts were not being regularly updated. While the issues that confronted me were varied, on hindsight none of them were serious enough to qualify as valid excuse for not keeping up with my target of writing at least once a week. It was therefore very fortuitous that I came upon the above quote, which kick started me to get back to my writing.

It is said that one cannot be pushed from behind or pulled from the front but has to be driven from within, to achieve and attain success. It is in this context that a dream is a must for every individual so that it becomes a goal and a reason for us to aspire, perspire and acquire success. With a dream comes the waking up to reality; with the dream comes the desire to act; with the dream comes the possibility of achievement.

Waking up to reality: Dr.Abdul Kalam famously said that ‘A dream is not what you see in your sleep; it is something that does not let you sleep’. Translate your interests, passion and dreams into a tangible, vivid and positive goal. With this goal as the focus, outline the logical steps to be taken to move towards the goal. Obviously there would be obstacles that loom large, difficulties that seem insurmountable, self-doubt about your own capabilities all of which nudge you to realize that you have to be prepared to accept the reality that your dreams are attainable provided you are ready to pursue your dream with pragmatism, optimism and enthusiasm.

Dreams evoke the desire to act: While the reality would be challenging and terrifying at times the dream itself would be alluring, exciting and exceptionally rewarding. It is these enticement that help you take proactive steps to pursue your dreams by taking your first steps that you have already visualized and outlined. Even when there are setbacks or frustrations the effort taken will never be in vain for you would have traversed quite a distance, made significant commitments by way of various resources and turning back or giving up would be not an option at all, Perhaps you would pause to review, re strategize and or rework your plans but the dream would be your goal.

Strong possibility of achievement. It is the compelling and tantalizing lure of the dream that will always provide the pull and magnet for effort to bear fruit. You can always make your dreams come true once you have begun in faith, proceeded with gusto and believed in yourself. Watch out and avoid falling prey to criticism, setbacks, resource limitations and fear. A worthwhile dream will always fuel your spirit, nourish your desire and propel you to take the leap of faith that bridges the chasm between giving up and getting up.

I just did it… you can do it too…dream big…stay cool…receive in abundance.

Try this:
Prioritize these
Achievement
Money
Relationships
Recognition
Satisfaction
Challenge
Learning
Frugality
Position
Power

Take the first 3 top priority and jot down a couple of dreams that can seamlessly incorporate our priorities and at the same time give you the impetus to follow your dream.

What is the one Problem and one Dream that you have in connection with the following
The Government
Environment
Social Change
Youth
Education
Animal Welfare
Health care

So what are you doing to achieve your DREAM for each of the above despite the problems that you have indicated?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog
www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Dissapointments are natural...but...

How many of you reading this feel they are always unlucky and never win be it a lottery, or a game of tambola / housie or just a lucky draw at a raffle? Disappointment is a natural corollary at the end of any such game for all those who never win and worse still miss out on winning by a whisker. There are others who seem to be very lucky but are disappointed that they never win the big stakes. Perhaps most of us see these as minor disappointments of everyday life and get over our disappointments in these situations quickly.  However, the larger disappointments come from our self set (often unrealistic) expectations; be it grades in exams, winning a match, meeting a deadline, meeting a commitment or it could be expectations related to  a large salary rise or  a promotion or worse still expectations from our children in their scholastic, personal and professional life.

One consolation that softens the pain of disappointment is the realization that everyone suffers disappointments albeit in varying measures. However, it is coping with disappointments that are a huge challenge for us.. While the techniques to cope would vary it is essential to be aware that we should not let disappointments become an excuse nor let it fester in our minds and poison our thinking and actions. Here are a couple of pointers to overcome disappointments, quickly regain our composure and motivate us to strive for something even better than what we didn’t get.

Accept disappointments as inevitable: No matter how well planned and careful one is circumstances are uncontrollable and obviously disappointments will lurk around. Escaping disappointments is not an option and accepting this reality is the first step in coping with disappointments. Eg. Flight delays can be very frustrating just as not getting reservations be it for travel or at the theater can be equally disappointing.

Put disappointments in perspective:  Well some disappointments will always be more painful than others. It is our ability to be rational and pragmatic about the disappointment that will bring equanimity into our life. E.g. Not getting a ticket for a movie could be huge disappointment if you were with a date but a flight delay could be terrible if you were to miss an important long haul connecting flight because of the delay of the first flight. In either case it is essential to reconcile to the reality and make the best of the inevitable situation you are faced with.

Seek a positive in the disappointment: To make the best of the inevitable situation you find yourself post the disappointment, force yourself to find a pleasant alternative. This needs a little imagination, a spark of creativity and a stout heart to overcome the disappointment. E.g. If stuck in a stopover town due to a delayed flight, the best option is to explore /discover the nuances of the place. If you missed out on getting tickets you alternatives could range from a surprise fine dining experience to exploring alternative entertainment options or simply going on a drive.

Focus on the many blessings you have: Pause for a moment and think of all the things that you are blessed with. Loving family, decent lifestyle, good education, freedom to pursue your dreams and the list is endless. So the disappointments you encounter are mere blips in an otherwise reasonably good life. Learn to let go of the disappointments and instead embrace the fortunes that you are blessed with.

Be aware that no disappointment can overcome your spirit: Disappointments are equivalent to the little pricks that one has to endure when romping through the woods. We never give up on our trek or hike merely because of a couple of untoward mishaps or stumbles or a scraped knee. It is our enthusiasm that props up our spirit, strengthens us to endure and motivates us to the very end. We need to realize that it is this same spirit in much larger doses that will always insulate us from giving up when faced with disappointments.

Try this:

 

How will you cope with the following disappointments?

  1. You are unable to recollect the location of an important document that you remember having kept very safely.
  2. You are in rush to catch a flight and discover that your car won’t start and you have reach the airport on time.
  3. You pick up your favorite coat and notice a large ugly stain on it.
  4. A long lost friend is visiting you and gifts you something. On opening the gift you find it is something that you craved for but it has the most terrible color that you despise immensely.
  5. You are invited to be the keynote speaker at a prestigious seminar. You have worked hard on your speech but on the day of the address, you wake up feeling feverish and with a terrible sore throat. 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-22-5 W's of life

Rudyard Kipling made the 5W’s and 1H famous through is immortal poem I Keep Six honest Serving men (http://allpoetry.com/poem/8444911-I-Keep-Six-Honest-Serving-Men-by-Rudyard_Kipling ) and today’s post is an interesting perspective on HOW our response to the 5W’s  holds the key to making our life unique, interesting, and fulfilling. The interpretation of the 5W’s from the perspective of our life is also very intriguing and thought provoking.

Who you are is what makes you special. Do not change for anyone.

Even identical twins have unique personality traits. It is the I in the individual that makes the individual unique, different and special. Of course our hereditary, the growing up environment, our elders, teachers, friends, experiences do influence and mould our individuality. There will be pressures from all around us, that would overtly and covertly influence us to adjust, make changes, confirm to and/ or  display our individuality differently from the real person we are.  Ultimately though, it is our thoughts, our beliefs, our values and our self esteem that will determine our individuality. How we cope with the influences  and pressures of the world around us will determine how true we remain to the unique individual that we are born as.  

What lies ahead will always be a mystery. Do not be afraid to explore.

Each day will bring both surprises and occasionally challenges. However, most days will be routine, staid and boring. While surprises would be a pleasant diversion, challenges can bring quite a bit of stress and yet provide motivation to find solutions. It is the daily grind of the routine, the staid fare called work and monotony that is almost omnipresent that is a huge challenge for the vast majority. Breaking this viciously cycle would be possible only if one is prepared to explore alternatives and create, discover, invent options. It could be as simple as changing the routine style of work, the work place, the approach to work etc. It could be made more exciting and challenging by finding new methods, adopting new styles and reorganizing the existing paradigm. E.g. Compared to the gym routine adopted and followed a few years ago, modern gyms have varied equipment, a variety of exercises, different styles of exercising, have introduced and stressed on diet routines and diet supplements all of these focused on getting more people to get interested and involved.  How do you plan to explore the opportunities around you to make what lies ahead exciting.

When life pushes you over, you push it back.

Have you ever experienced a phase in your life when nothing seems to be going right? Perhaps you have had to endure the pain of facing sudden calamity just when everything seemed so perfect. These are times when life mimics a game of passing the parcel, where you cannot avoid the parcel but don’t know when the music will stop and worse still what forfeit is hidden. The best thing to do is to enjoy the game and play it in the true spirit of the game. Remember the saying then going gets tough the tough get going! How do you plan to get tough, more daring and more resilient coping with and overcoming the vagaries of life?

When there are choices to make, make the one you won’t regret.

When there are choices aplenty, exercising a choice is a challenge especially when the alternatives are equally attractive. Many a time choices are made based on perceived pay offs and unfortunately many a payoff has a subtle hint of either a crooked way or a selfish intent or border on the illegitimate, indecent, illegal or irresponsible. The focus of the payoff should be the long term good that is aligned with the values and beliefs we hold dear to us. The payoff should also not compromise on our self respect, our long term vision and never ever for paltry short term gains. How you analyze, evaluate and decide would help make the choice but what really holds the key to making choices is your upbringing, values system and self belief.

Why things happen will never be certain. Take it in your stride and move forward.

Every action in our life is largely directed at being happy. However most times we realize that despite our best efforts the results are far from happy. There are times when things seem to slip from our grasp at the last moment; other times we don’t seem to see any tangible evidence of happiness even remotely in the distant horizon and then when we get a whiff of happiness it is never ever enough or long lasting. Our patience is tested, our frustrations cold turn to despair, platitudes and endearments no longer hold out hope and yet that is when we must regroup our thoughts, recharge our energies and resolve to begin afresh with faith, hope and anticipation. How quickly you put the past behind, plan for the future ahead and take those strides forward will determine how far we attain our life purpose and self fulfillment.

Try this:

  • Jot down 5- 10 qualities/ attributes / traits/ talents / characteristics that make you a very special person.  Identify also 2-5 personality/ behavioral traits that others find annoying/ irritating in you.
  • Jot down 5 activities/ places/ experiences that you would like to explore over the next 3 months.
  • What are the two decisions that you are still dithering over? Identify reasons for you not being able to make the decision and work on overcoming them.
  • If you were given1 minute to write down your will, would you be able to do it? If your answer is YES write it down now. If your answer is NO, then why are you wasting time – go and prepare your will. Are you sure you will be alive the next minute?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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