Tag: Reality

Accept then Act

13- Accept then act

We find ourselves ineffective, fearful, tardy and complaining whenever we have to engage in an activity that we dislike, loathe or despise. Most times, the same feelings also preoccupy us when we have to do repetitive, boring and menial jobs. The reality is that every individual would have to necessarily put up with a variety of tasks, that fall into one or more of the above activities that are  disenchanting and boring. Take any job; repetition and boredom are inbuilt into it because that is the very nature of life. Even in the animal kingdom, preying, hunting, procreation, protecting the young ones and survival is the cycle that is ordained for every specie.  However the human race alone, sees their life cycle as a herculean task and a challenge. Ironically, this is because we are blessed with a very high degree of imagination, thinking powers and creativity which unfortunately we do not utilize well. Instead we prefer to distort the reality imaginatively enough to merely wallow in self pity. Life would be much more engaging, interesting and fun filled if we were to first accept the reality and then proactively engage with it.

To ensure that every day is a new day filled with opportunities and hope, look at life differently. Here is how one does it

Feel blessed to be alive to enjoy the day – Every living moment is a blessing. Once you make this realization you would value each moment. Your fears and frustrations will disappear once you realize that you are here for a purpose and that you are given the opportunity to contribute and succeed by being alive. So many die young never fulfilling their promise nor experiencing the joy of fulfillment.  Others die old, yet without having made a difference in their lives or in the life of others. Each day you are alive is a blessing; each moment an opportunity and every action you take can be made meaningful.

Be happy that you have something concrete to do – Even the jobless have a task of finding a suitable employment. Those having a job have something to look forward to every day. It is possible that the vast majority of us are often disillusioned with their jobs, they are striving to do something more meaningful and rewarding. Yet the fact that there is something to engage you, is itself a blessing denied to many. Once we this realization is made, the present situation looks a lot more promising, fulfilling and rewarding. Many of those looking for a job fail to land one largely because of their own limited vision, partly because of their inability to identify and discern alternative opportunities and partly because of their inability to accept their reality that they are often striving for something  they don’t deserve. If they accept their reality they would alter their thinking and redirect their efforts to more realistic alternatives.

Be aware that no task is menial; visualize yourself as an important cog – In most work places, the clerical staff are missed most when absent. They are also the most lowly paid, Does this not look abnormal. The reality is that the clerical staff may not be doing a job that significantly influences the business but they certainly are critical to the daily functioning at the work place. However, although their influence is significant, their presence is not recognized till they are absent. Their role is  vital for smooth functioning on a day to day basis even though they do not have any long term strategically critical influence. When we analyze our own role there are times when we too will feel insignificant. Does it in anyway reduce or marginalize our role? In any committee there would be limited number of people holding office bearers position but it is the rest of the committee that gives direction and legitimacy to the office bearers. In any team there can be just one captain but each member is equally important to ensure the team does well.

Focus on doing the job well enough to make you proud – One reason we see ourselves as insignificant and unimportant is because we do not visualize ourselves as playing any significant role in life. It is important that we realize that every role that we play be it as a child, a parent, an employee or a retired individual has its own importance in influencing the world around. You set an example, you show the way, you guide by using your experience, you motivate with encouragement and you certainly are a glue to family and social ties. Once you perceive the importance of the role you play, you will accept it with open arms and then act decisively to ensure you play your part well.

Aim to improve, grow and rise in whatever your calling – Time takes a toll on every individual; it slows down reflexes, there could be health issues or it could be merely confusion about what to do next. Yet time does not take away your ability to contribute in whatever manner one can. With every passing day, we are enriched by our interactions, our experiences, our failures and our successes. We also learn each day and we can also share each day the knowledge we posses, utilize the experience we have gained and actively participate in a calling of our choice. This gets momentum once we accept the reality that we may not be as effective as we once were but there is nothing to stop us gamely contributing.

Experience the joy of a task well done – The motivation that drives individuals to contribute despite the boredom, the humdrum of everyday monotony and the repetitive nature of the work is the elation we get that we have done a good job. It is essential that we experience this joy, soak in the pleasure of doing an excellent job and seek motivation in continuing to script success daily. So age will not be a bar, health would not be an impediment, the extent of your contribution would not be a dampener for you have accepted the reality and have chosen to act to the best of your abilities. You derive pleasure from participation, contribution and

Try these:

Make a list of at least 3-5 things you want to do because you are passionate about it. It is possible that some of the items on the list seem farfetched to achieve because of your current  physical, financial or academic limitations. Perhaps they seem farfetched because you have not really sat down to think and study it at length. Pick one activity out of that list and begin earnestly to get some tangible outcome. E.g. You want to be a magician. Find out about magic schools in your city teaching the art. Go to a library and find out books that teach you magic tricks. Ask friends and relatives about magicians who could teach you the art. Begin by mastering card tricks. Look up other resources on the net to get more inputs. Practice and master a few tricks and try it on your friends and family. Learn from the feedback.

Take inspiration from the following video’s of people who Accepted their reality and then acted to make the best use of their abilities. Click on the links to view.

http://tinyurl.com/hsueztl – Inspiration from Nick Vujicic

http://tinyurl.com/bpesfbf – Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

Read the inspirational article by paraplegic M.P.Anil Kumar by clicking on the following link

http://tinyurl.com/gmr2maq   

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

How to attain peace of mind

Peace of mind is that mental condition in which you have accepted the worst. Lin Yutang

I have been beseeched by inquiries from well meaning friends as to why I have not been consistently updating my posts as I was doing  through 2010. I do plead guilty of being a tad lethargic but more importantly there have been other personal, professional and social commitments that are now competing very hard to be treated on par with my other priorities. I must confess that in the process, the daily blog has got pushed out to the periphery but I can assure my readers that it will still remain a priority for me. It has taken me a while to attain peace of mind with respect to taking the decision to reduce my daily blog to writing 4-5 times a week. Yes, today’s quote aptly sums up my dilemma and my response to it.

One dreaded word that is the bane of those seeking peace of mind is CHANGE. This is because for almost all of us change signifies a shift in the status quo and this means one has to constantly readjust to adapt to the change. Most of us are tempered to follow a planned, preordained path and anything that disturbs this causes anxiety which translates to mean that it disturbs our peace of mind. To cope with change, the focus should be on looking at change as an allay rather than an adversary.  A simple example could be the stimulus that makes us follow a good diet and exercise regime. While one has to possibly sacrifice some of the most tasty and appetizing food, the pain of strain and effort in exercising  begins to both unnerve us and makes us anxious about coping up. If what drives us to diet and exercise is fear of illness then both the effort and the results would be labored. On the other hand if it is our inner desire to feel good, look healthy and be fit that is the stimulant the results would be far more spectacular.

Worry is the real culprit in disturbing the peace of mind. This is because we are constantly anticipating problems, imagining worst case scenarios and oozing negative emotions and feelings. One reason for this is that we believe that it makes the reality easier to bear if the worst happens. What we fail to see is that most of worries never happen and so we have expended our energies fruitlessly. Equally tragic is the fact that by worrying we have often missed out on opportunities and possibilities of learning, earning and growing.  The trick to tackle worry is change our mindset and attitude. This means one has to work on one’s self belief and positive attitude. This does not mean that we ignore our concerns but we build up the will power to address our concerns by having alternatives lined up but after that we proceed to leverage the opportunities that are available to us. An example of this could be those who worry about a job loss if the company is shut down during a recession. If the probability is high they would plan out the alternatives but having done so they would go about doing their job so well that they would be retained till the end because of their sheer performance.

Accepting the reality is where people really flounder. Very often when faced with an unpleasant reality, the common response of most people is denial. Denial simply implies that people do not accept the reality. They tend to fight it, ignore it, manipulate it and camouflage it. They expend their energies in a futile way hoping that some miracle would restore their original status quo. Subconsciously too they are aware that they are fighting a losing cause and hence do not enjoy the peace of mind that could help them cope with the reality. People who are detected with life changing or life threatening illness or disabilities would for example try all types of cures including alternative therapy, faith healing and could even fall prey to the guile’s of god men. Finally it is only when they reconcile to the reality that they actually give up fighting the illness and learn to enjoy the rest of their life. Enjoying life particular all that is left when we run short of time is perhaps when peace of  mind is experienced in its regal splendor and majesty.

Remember: “You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.”  George Michael

Try this:

  1. We find it hard to forgive ourselves for our indiscretions. If we carry this burden then we lose our peace of mind. Saying sorry is a very simple means to retain our peace of mind. Read the following to know more about forgiving ourselves. https://actspot.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/forgiving-ones-own-self/
  2. Check if incidents in the following situations are even today making you lose your peace of mind
  • Your inability to forgive someone who wronged you
  • Your personal negative qualities e.g. Quick temper/ extreme jealously/ possessiveness/ avariciousness etc
  • Some incident from the past that has traumatized you e.g. dog bite in child hood/ scenes from some horror movies / being ditched by a loved one

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Be aware of the truth

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Oscar Wilde

There is a natural tendency of most of us to form opinions about people and come to some conclusions. We are rudely shocked or pleasantly surprised when contrary to our assumptions there are exactly opposite views expressed by others about the same person. It isn’t that we are completely wrong or the other completely right but the reality is that each one of us has shades of Jekyll and Hyde in us and we tend to display one of the two personalities more dominantly.

What we can observe in ourselves is the mood swings, change in behavior and the alternating negative and positive energies that seem to constantly shadow us. This does not make us either good or bad people but is merely indicative of the constantly changing personal display of emotions and characteristics. When we are tempted to take a holier than thou attitude we may be rudely awakened to the reality that we have had a none to enviable past.  On the other hand when we are prone to wallow in self pity and desperation it is a timely reminder to seek help for every weakling has hope of salvation.

Since we are certain that there is no such concept of a perfect person in this universe, logically each one of us falls in the continuum between good and bad. Depending on the day and time we plot ourselves on that continuum we could go into either extremes but the saving grace is that there is hope for sinners and the apparently virtuous  can be more tempered in their ego massaging. In effect we realize that being good or bad does not make us exceptional or despicable for there is a past that can be a burden to carry and a future that absolve us and reward us for our repentance. This gives us both hope on one hand and a word of caution on the other hand that enables us to see ourselves as balance individuals.

We therefore come to a conclusion that we cannot really form opinions unless we have closely interacted with the person and more interestingly that the conclusions we draw are limited to the time we spend with them. We also need to realize that our opinions of people should not be so rigid that we alienate people because we are not willing to study the facts or acknowledge our mistakes at a later stage. The bigger lesson though is for us as individuals to be aware that we have our own limitations and strengths and that what was strength at a point in time could vanish and we could end up as victims. Similarly for those innocent who stand as accused in the docks of human morality there is hope that redemption is possible if one is determined to work for it and seek repentance.

Remember: Tomorrow is another day.

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 positive changes that you have noticed in you that have come over since the last 5-10 years. Also list out 3 bad traits that you have adopted that you never accused of before.
  2. If possible read the book The Cross and the Switchblade a book written in 1963 by pastor David Wilkerson with John and Elizabeth Sherrill. It tells the true story of Wilkerson’s first five years in New York City, where he ministered to disillusioned youth, encouraging them to turn away from the drugs and gang violence they were involved with.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Accept gracefully the reality…

Happy he who learns to bear what he cannot change! J.C.F. von Schiller

While it is perfectly alright to attempt to improve and change, it is often quite a tough task to accept that some things can’t be changed. If we were to attempt to rewind out lives, almost all of us would want to make drastic changes in the way we grew up and the way we lived. Alas we don’t lose much sleep over the impossibility of changing the past because we are reconciled to it. We may have a few regrets though, like occasional lamenting that we should have studied harder or that we should have expressed our love for our parents and siblings more often or that we should have followed our hearts desire in our career choice and not have been pressurized by family and friends.

Our problem invariably starts with the recognition that there are a few imperfections in us that we would desperately love to iron out but some of them are near impossible to change. If we are not blessed with a silky voice, it would be impossible to acquire one now. Similarly you would come across so many people seeking miracle cures to improve their height, their looks or nonexistent talents. What is more difficult to accept are what we perceive as our strengths being run down or criticized. While every student who enters the portals of Harvard or Stanford or the IIT’ and IIM’s would visualize themselves as natural leaders and possible business tycoons, the reality is that quite a few of them will have to somehow reconcile that despite their academics and special talents they still don’t have the critical competencies that will catapult them into the orbit of their dreams.

Ironically there is booming business ostensibly promising changes that people crave for. Beginning with quick fix solutions for balding men which spans the entire range of creams, lotions, oils and culminating in hair weaving , there is a whole range of beauty and fairness  therapies targeted at ladies. The fashion scene is not too far behind and the battle of the bulge and the size zero craze have panned out as booming business propositions. Health food, spas, massages are the new life style miracles promised to one and all. The education sector is more blatant promising to make toppers out of dunces and extending their magic to getting admissions in premier institutions and promising astronomical salary packages for their graduate students. What is typically left unsaid is that everything is relative and subjective. Eg. The hair weaving works on just a few and the battle of the bulge requires a lot of discipline, strict diet and regular exercise.  As for education there are limited seats so it is just impossible for everyone to make the cut.

Amidst this chaotic cacophony of false promises, impossible dream peddlers and fantasy seekers, the person who steps back and does an objective reality check and accepts the results is the winner in life. Even if we are excellent in certain areas of life, the reality is that only the extraordinary can make it big in those fields. So there is nothing unfortunate or humiliating about being prudent and giving up our chase of what we realize is an elusive dream and instead focus on harnessing the best out of the existing resources we are blessed with. Look around and identify the happy people and it should not surprise you to see many a housewife falling in that category. They are happy not desperately trying to balance career and family. Surprisingly there would be many a career woman too who has resourcefully balanced career and family perhaps at the cost of putting their career plans slightly on the back burner but delighted that they are enjoying both a successful career and a quality life. If you are not enjoying your life, pause to ask yourself if you are chasing something will always elude you  and instead focus your energies on some of your passions and you will experience a calmness and peace that invigorates and energizes you.

Remember: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 5 changes that you want to bring in your life. It could be personal or lifestyle changes and at least one of them should be a change that you hope to bring about in the next 1 month. Jot down the changes in some tangible form eg. Don’t say I want to lose weight but say I want to lose 2 kgs in 2 months. Start working on those changes immediately.
  2. Make a list of changes you wanted for over 3 years but have not succeeded. Analyze each of those failures and identify if the goal was wrong or the method faulty or the change sought was foolhardy or preposterous.  Do you want to still pursue those changes?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com