Tag: regrets

Be like melting snow…

Be like melting snow…

As we enter the last week of the year, Rumi gives us a very insightful sharing, that can help us transcend seamlessly into the New Year.  Like melting snow, so typical of the season of Christmas in the Northern Hemisphere, which simply lets go of its form, allows the impurities to be washed off and merrily adopts a new form and flows with the tide, each of us should embrace a similar attitude.

We need to begin afresh in the New Year. The emotional baggage of the past can be best got rid off by being like the melting snow. Wash it off the memory, clear if from our heart, just carry the purity, fun, joys which like sugar and salt will add flavor. Resolve to begin anew; scrub yourself clean of the dirt that rankled and tortured your mind and body; soap and shampoo yourself with the aroma of beautiful memories, of hopes and aspirations and walk towards the sun; all shadows behind you and a bright spot ahead.

In washing ourselves of ourselves we are merely discovering our true identity. The real self which was born in all purity and innocence and who grew up ensconced with love and impervious of any danger or fear.  The snow is nothing but water that changed due to the environment around and then it rediscovers itself as water when it washes itself of itself.

Each of us is like a snowflake; each one can be born anew in the New Year if we simply wash ourselves of ourselves.

Try these:           

  • What are the most memorable moments of your childhood, teenage years and currently?
  • What are your hopes / dreams / goals for the coming year?
  • What are three positive changes you propose to bring into your life?
  • What is the one way you will ensure that your loved ones begin to notice a marked positive change in you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


Be happy no matter what…


Make it a point to look out for the smiles, the joy and the gay abandon with which people live their lives and you would find that happiness is there everywhere. Happiness has no boundaries, no barriers and certainly no preconditions. Happiness is an integral part of us that has to be discovered, nurtured and nourished by a liberal dose of positive attitude, right thinking and a large and grateful heart.

Give your spontaneous yes or no answers to the following 3 questions and you will have an idea of your happiness quotient

  1. Are you happy to be alive?
  2. Are you ready to die?
  3. Do you have any regrets?

If you have regrets you cannot be happy. However you can make an attempt to address your regret at the earliest if that is possible. (E.g. you regret the intemperate language and nasty behavior displayed in a fit of rage towards an elderly relative. If the person can be contacted do express your apologies and seek pardon and the regret is over) Else decide not to let the regret be an emotional Damocles sword over your naturally cheerful self. (E.g. of the concerned person in the scenario described earlier is no longer alive brooding over that regret merely pricks the bubble of your natural happiness)

If you are not ready to die, it simply means you have a lot of craving left yet; be it for material wealth, personal relationships and personal aspirations. Of course, the young readers would be upset that no allowance is made for their dreams and aspirations but the focus is actually on ones sense of fulfillment experienced in the life lead so far. (E.g. if you are given just a month more to live by your doctor, no matter what your age, would feel that month too short a time?)

If you say a resounding YES to life and continue to eagerly look forward to each morning it merely reinforces the reality that you are one lucky happy soul.

Action Points:

Can you find something to be happy about in the following situations?

  1. You have failed an exam
  2. You wallet has been robbed during rush hour commuting
  3. You are denied a seat in an international flight because the flight was overbooked.
  4. You have been given a pink slip as an unfortunate victim of downsizing
  5. You discover that your best friend has betrayed your trust and let you down.

Do enjoy the video of the Man who has no hands, no legs and shares his happiness. To view it please  click on the following link http://www.youtube.com/embed/da5QQSxSsGY

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


Forgiving ones own self

How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself. Publilius Syrus

Many of us live with regrets and those regrets never let us enjoy our life to the fullest. There is always that lingering feeling of uneasiness that mars our bliss, spoils our fun and restrains our exuberance. What compounds our misery is that our regrets are of our making, they are often not life threatening but would certainly qualify to be life altering and they can be overcome with patience and resilience, provided we are prepared to let go the hurt, erases the pain from our heart and mind and accept the reality that the past cant be changed. Most regrets are relationship related and we could either be the culprit or the victim and it takes tremendous fortitude to overcome the past and forgive ourselves.

We do not forgive our selves particularly when we have hurt people very close to us or when we realize that we have let down those close to us because of our own folly. Many a time children regret their rather brash and rude behavior with their parents much later in life and by then there is a perceived divide that the child in us cant forget but which the parent has forgiven and possibly forgotten. Anger is a key trigger that ignites uncouth behavior and threatens relationships. When in anger we resort to plain speak often bordering on the uncouth, make wild and hurtful accusations, twist facts to hurt and humiliate others at whom we are angry and even lapse into making wild assumptions that translate into pitiful laments and harsh accusations. Then when we are more clear headed, we often become remorseful and regret our actions and continue to wallow in self pity.

Our plight is made miserable by the reality that the past can’t be undone and much as we wish we cannot erase those memories from our life. The challenge for us is to get to terms with this reality and realize that just as we have the power and the need to forgive others, we have to exercise this power to forgive ourselves too. To do this, we first need to accept the reality that the past can’t be changed nor can the painful memories be erased. Then possibly we can attempt to minimize the guilt by apologizing to the aggrieved party/ parties if possible. This is very very tough because it is an admission of our own errors and to admit that means hurting our own ego. Thereafter it is then essential that one genuinely feels sorry for the indiscretions (Catholics have the sacrament of Confession which is wonderful heart cleanser if practiced with earnestness). In cleaning our heart and mind by using the twin detergents of apology and remorse, we will have forgiven ourselves. 

No sooner we manage to forgive ourselves a big burden is lifted off our backs and we begin to breathe easy, feel rejuvenated and begin to view our surroundings in new light. There is a spring in our step, a glow o our face and a warmth in our hearts that will automatically be transmitted to all those whom we come in contact with. There is no more regret, no more guilt and no more unhappiness. 

Remember: Forgiveness is a funny thing.  It warms the heart and cools the sting.  ~William Arthur Ward 

Try this:

  1. Recollect at least 3 situations when in your anger you have either hurt/ humiliated/ insulted /ignored /answered back / accused unfairly / shouted at someone. Ask yourself if you now regret that behavior. Do you still carry the burden of that indiscretion. If yes work out a way to forgive yourself of that guilt. 
  2. If someone who hurt you and insulted you terribly sought your forgiveness would you be able to forgive easily and freely. If not ask your self if your digging a grave of regret for yourself. If you can forgive freely, examine your own feelings thereafter and feel yourself unburdened and relaxed.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com 

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog   www.poweract.blogspot.com

Self Pity

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. Helen Keller

Quite often we tend to brood over the past and a number of times we stray into a ‘If only’ mode, thereby suggesting that ‘If only’ things were different at a point in time we would have been happier / successful/ popular etc. It is but natural to lapse into such though process because man by nature is a thinking animal and in that process we would have both positive and negative thoughts. However when the negative thoughts over ride the emotions and seep into our psyche then we shift gears and move into a self pity mode blaming others for our failures, circumstances for conspiring against us succeeding and us putting on a garb of an innocent victim of fate.

If the past looked dark, for many caught in the frenzy of self pity, the future seems darker. This is because we also have the ability to telescope our self pity into the future and visualize ourselves as victims of a conspiracy of fate. We convince ourselves that if things look bad today the future is worse; we imagine ourselves caught in a spiral of unending struggle, engaged in a battle to rid ourselves of financial woes, personal and professional challenges and getting stuck in the rut of everyday living. Perhaps self pity is the way to escape from our responsibilities, loosen our guilt over our failures and a comfortable perch from which to agonize over the dismal way our life has shaped up. Alas, self pity cannot change the reality that we alone have to furrow our path to success.

It is important to realize that self pity is very different from introspection. Introspection is brief and objective analysis of happenings. Rationality is at the core of it and we place the facts dispassionately in front of us with a view to study it and learn from it. The negatives are not seen in isolation nor are they used as excuses but merely as facts that exist but never the only cause of our troubles. Rationality also places a very high premium on the positives and views it as lucky breaks, deserving opportunities and chances of fate that we should have capitalized on. If we haven’t, we take responsibility and we also cherish the moments of success that have been built up these positives.

If we look at the life of Helen Keller, we would realize how much more fortunate we are for most of us we are blessed with perfect faculties of hearing, sight and speech. Despite the triple strike against her, she was lucky to have the support of her family and the extraordinary luck of meeting up with teacher who believed in herself and her pupil and used the most extraordinary methods to groom her ward. Look around and you will observe that you too have the extra ordinary luck of a supportive family, friends, resources almost all of which we take for granted.  At this precise moment cherish the gifts of eyesight because you are reading this post, the gift of education for you understand what you read and the gifts of technology for you are accessing this because of the computer, the blog and the allied paraphernalia that technology has gifted to human kind. You have much to look forward to in life; if you still have doubts how about seeing the following video footage


Remember: “Self-pity will parch your attitudes, it will paralyze your abilities, and it will put off your achievements. It prohibits excellence and prevents expansion.”

Try these:

  1. Blind fold yourself using a large kerchief or a big cloth. Now try and spend 15 minutes just doing what you would normally do in the day (except trying to sleep of course ha ha). Experience the feeling of helplessness, fear, paranoia etc. When you think 15 minutes are up remove the blind fold and check if it was 15 mins or 5 mins. Now ask yourself what are the strikes against you, in your life; you won’t find too many I bet.
  2. List out three things about yourself that you are ashamed of or embarrassed about. Do you experience a feeling of self pity because of those embarrassments? Are any of them hereditary or born with eg. Stammering, personal deformity or being obese. Do you still feel self pity that it was your unfortunate lot to be inflicted that scar in your personality? Now contrast that with all the blessings that you have got.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Make the best of Today

Enjoy yourself. These are the “good old days” you’re going to miss in the years ahead. Anon

Time management is not just about making every minute count as in work. Real time management is all about utilizing your time not just productively but living it fully with enthusiasm, exuberance and excitement. The tough times we go through in life, like studying for exams, the anxious times at job interviews, the deep sorrow we feel at the death of a loved one are mere comma’s and semi colons in the passage of life. When we read the full script, we realize that life is a wonderful journey that hold a million treasures in the deep recesses of our hearts.

Sometimes despite our best efforts we end up as failures, despondent and forlorn. It is that such crucial times that the sweet memories of the good old days, brighten our present, give us hope and spur us to action. We are assured of success, of attaining our goals and coming up triumphant when we don’t fall prey to momentary setbacks and  glitches  in the drama called our life.

Happiness begins with us accepting our  imperfections, acknowledging  our limitations and trying our best at all times. You can be sure there will never be any regrets in your life if act now, accept the results and acknowledge with humility the success you get and take the rare failures in your stride. Then when we look back we will never have any regrets and instead see the that every moment in the past is a treasure that shouts ‘ they were the good old days’.

Remember : “Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.”

Try these :

  • Can you recollect your childhood dreams. List them out. Ask yourself if you regret not achieving any of those dreams.
  • Outline your plans for the next one year/ 5 years / 10 years. Write it down with a road map as to how you propose to achieve it.
  • Are there some regrets in your life? If yes don’t ignore it but write it down and ask yourself if they were really what you craved for and could have got? Do you think you can really blame people/ circumstances / yourself for those regrets ?

This daily blog is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also welcome to visit our weekly inspirational and motivational blog at www.poweract.blogspot.com