Tag: Revenge

Forgiveness is sweet revenge

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. Isaac Friedmann

On the face of it, the very thought of forgiveness being sweet sounds like a sugar coated pill bitter inside but sweet on the outside. When we add the word revenge the whole meaning changes and now it has become as effective as chemotherapy with side effects, for the cure is almost as bad as the disease but then it cures. The reality though is that forgiveness is very tough for it requires a very large heart, a bigger attitude and tremendous courage of self belief. This is mainly because, we cannot forgive when our ego is hurt, if the hurt and bitterness is very painful , if our trust has been betrayed and if our anger has never subsided. Even worse is a situation where we are convinced that an eye for an eye is the best policy to be followed in life.

However if we pause to have a relook at forgiveness, we would realize that in the long run forgiveness heals us more than anyone else. When we carry our hurt, we are spreading a slow poison inside us, the guilt gnaws at our conscious from time to time, the need to extract revenge pricks our ego very often and a good part of our life is spend in bitterness and frustration.  Instead if we made up our mind to forgive, we would be happy in the realization that a big load is off our chest and very ironically, our enemy who is forgiven suddenly has the burden of living with his conscious. It is in transferring our burden to our enemy by forgiving him /her that we extract sweet revenge.

In forgiving we are taking a conscious decision to let bygones be bygones and to exonerate those who have wronged us. For many of us this is a very painful and heart wrenching decision because we may have suffered immensely, there is social pressure on us to prove ourselves by extracting revenge and  psychologically it becomes painful to hate someone whom we have forgiven but we find it very hard to both forget and love those whom we forgive. Yet in this one life changing moment when we forgive, there is a peace that nestles in ourselves that we have overcome the barrier of hate, bypassed the need for revenge and made our oppressor a victim of our magnanimity. In that final twist in the tale we taste the sweet revenge that is embedded in forgiveness.

Remember: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

Try this:

  1. Think of a couple of people who may have hurt you in some deep and painful manner either by abusing you/ insulting you/ ignoring you/ lying to you/ gossiping about you/ etc. Ask yourself if you still are carrying the hurt with you long after the episode is over. Try to forgive those who were hurtful to you. If possible ensure they are made aware else just let your mind be free of their injustice. See the difference in your life thereafter.
  2. Look back and see if others have asked your pardon and you have refused to forgive them. This is the right time to reach out and forgive them. It could be someone who accidentally put you in trouble, some who lied to you, a person who refused to obey orders, a person who misunderstood you etc.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

A disaster called Revenge

Revenge could steal a man’s life until there was nothing left but emptiness. Louis L’Amour

The one problem with anger is that the next immediate thought that comes to mind is revenge. The problem with such a thought is that we are so consumed by that thought that we forget to enjoy life. It is another matter that most times we are unable to execute revenge because it is a double edged sword and often we only go around feeling bitter, hurt and frustrated. Revenge is perhaps a very human quality for the animal kingdom has never displayed such emotions, although there are stories about how some animals do have a long memory and do extract their pound of flesh when the opportunity presents itself. Perhaps we need to take this lesson from the animal kingdom that revenge is by and large a fruitless exercise that is best avoided.

Often the provocation for revenge is the feeling of being insulted, humiliated or unfairly treated. Ironically the animal kingdom is devoid of such emotions and they accept the simple law of the jungle that it is the matter of the ‘survival of the fittest’. When viewed from this angle, there is a case for the emotion of revenge, because the human race believes in the rule of civil society that is governed by rules, laws and regulations. More importantly some of the most human feelings of ego, jealously and pride pave the way for the feeling of revenge to be a legitimate outlet to vent our negative emotions lest we human beings go crazy when stressed out during our normal interactions. Yet the reality is that revenge is a very stressful emotion that invariably leaves very few winners rather it only leads to a painful existence for all involved who survive the revenge.

Once we succumb to the revenge virus, there is no antidote and only a strong sense of responsibility and common sense can ever pull us back from the potential threat of self destruction. Revenge is like a hand grenade with its pin removed but one which we are unable to lob too far. The resultant devastation would possibly hurt and destroy others but there is a very good chance that we too would be facing collateral damage. Revenge often consumes much of our time in planning, plotting, generating negative emotions all of which are directed at our potential target but which like a cancer actually eats us up within. Perhaps the most unfortunate aspect of revenge is that the process is long, passionate and emotionally charged but the post execution feeling is often a damn squib for there is nothing to drive us, occupy us or engage us thereafter. We are then left with a deep sense of emptiness that pervades our life and our existence.

Remember: “Revenge is a confession of pain” Latin Proverb

Try this:

  1. There are many books of fiction and movies that revolve around the theme of revenge. In almost all cases it is the Good triumphing over evil by taking appropriate revenge and there is a sense of fairness and justice. However read the book or watch the movie the ‘Godfather’ to get a better perspective of revenge and the price one has to pay for it. Notice that when Michael extracts revenge for the killing of his brother Sonny he has to thereafter leave family and friends behind and go on a long cooling off period to another country. Also pay attention to the various acts of revenge that are interspersed in the book.
  2. Recollect the times that you had a strong need to extract revenge. If you attempted revenge introspect about the net effect of that act. On hindsight would you have executed your plans?  Also ask yourself if the feeling of taking revenge is actually your way of acknowledging your emotional weakness and inability to cope with the pressures brought about on you be it in terms of tickling your ego or a feeling of being humiliated or insulted.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com