Tag: Smile

Be happy first and transmit it automatically

Happiness is that state of mind where negativity is banished, optimism exudes and one easily finds a reason no matter what, to remain cheerful. A simple test to the relative happiness quotient is truthfully answering the question ‘Do I suffer from Monday morning blues?’  If you can be as cheerful on a Monday morning as you are on a weekend, be sure you are blessed with abundant happiness.

However the vast majority reading this would say ‘I ain’t so lucky; so what is the secret to being happy?’  So here goes…

See the positives   No matter what the situation, there is a positive and a negative side to it. Focus on the positives. Unfortunately most of us are inclined to see the negatives partly due to force of habit, sometimes due to our jealous nature and occasionally because we limit our imagination. E.g. A student getting 99/100 can either enjoy his/ her success or can keep brooding over how/where/why that 1 mark was lost. There are positives even in extreme situations like failure/ death/ illness etc. but we have to imaginatively identify those positives and then happiness won’t be far behind.

Manage your thoughts Some of us are extremely imaginative in seeing the worst case scenario.  These people can spot a problem in every opportunity; they can rattle of a dozen reasons why something positive can’t happen and they can use their vivid imagination to make a mountain out of a molehill. E.g. You suddenly discover that your mobile phone is missing. Even as you frantically search, your mind has conjured up visions of never finding it, the possibility that someone has robbed it, the probability that anyone who finds it will not return it and quite often extreme frustration at ones on carelessness. Assuming that you find that mobile, instead of being really happy, a new set of questions would pop up. How did it fall of? Did it fall off or did someone try to pinch it unsuccessfully? If I didn’t find it all my contacts would have been lost; I would have to buy a new phone if I didn’t find it etc would be added thoughts that would puncture the happiness of having located the missing mobile phone.

Invest in relationships A good incubator of happiness is the society around you, the people you interact with and you being accessible, social and helpful. Relationships offer support, comfort and motivation essential ingredients to foster a happy environment. E.g. when there is a tragedy in the form of illness or death or failure happiness is hard to come by. Yet with the outpouring of concern, care and consolation, happiness is ignited much faster even if the grief takes a while to be overcome.

Live don’t merely exist Don’t just be creatures of habits. The vast majority of salaried employees follow the dictum 2 punches (attendance) and one lunch. Quiz these people on how life is and invariably the reply will be tinged with boredom, frustration, exasperation, irritation and indifference. Those who do not value their lives and make it count would always find life too tough, very hard to bear and extremely boring. The trick is making life interesting by being more open to ideas, attempting the challenging, taking calculated risks and doing things differently. E.g. Give in to your inner craving and just do it. My blog is an outcome of such a whim and if you have read so far it is proof that I haven’t wasted my time. My happiness is in having so many of you engrossed and engaged in my writing.  So when are you going to find the happiness in your passion?

Enjoy the moment The London Olympics 2012 are just a few months away. Some athletes and sportsmen have made the cut. Others have fallen by the way. The more unlucky ones have been waylaid by injury. Yet even the ones who do not make it to the Olympics will still actively engage in their sport for they have learnt to enjoy every moment of their lives. E.g. Even as I am writing this I am acutely aware that I haven’t written for over 2 weeks. This long hiatus has also dulled my enthusiasm, dried up my creative juices and has made writing this post a tad more tough. Yet, I am reveling in the reality that I have not lost my touch and I have put behind all the difficulties that impeded my regular output. Hopefully the happiness at being able to indulge in my passion is evident in this post.

Action Points:

  1. Can you find something unique in the way the title/ heading  of each paragraph was developed? The big secret to happiness is hidden in the way the paragraph headings were developed.
  2. List out 3 situations where you would be most happy. Have you experienced any of these situations?
  3. Name an object, thing, place, animal and person that immediately conjures up a happy image for you. Why do you think the said name evokes such happiness for you?
  4. Write in to actspot@gmail.com and share with us the joke / anecdote that thrills you to bits. If there are sufficient responses I could compile the best ones and share it with the readers through this blog and you can take pride in the fact that you did your bit to spread happiness too.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

A pill for all ills

The therapeutic value of laughter is perhaps the most undervalued commodity in the world. This is because laughter has no price and yet it is ‘priceless’. In fact we do not value this invaluable resource for we take it for granted just like the wonders that are given free by nature; sunshine, air and water. What is unique about a good laugh is that it is very personal, positively contagious (except when one is laughing mockingly) and it is the ‘all in one’ antidote for physical, mental, personal and professional problems.

Despite these obvious merits, the world at large seems to be more inclined to ignore the myriad effects of a good laugh. They prefer to wallow in a self deceptive cauldron of negative stew made up of negative emotions like anger, hurt, frustration, revenge and the like. This is because it is easier to lapse into a negative mind set and feel like a martyr by saying ‘poor me’ than to scan the horizon and find a reason to laugh when troubles seem to engulf us. Notice that the former behaviour is succumbing to the situation where as the latter involves grappling with an uncomfortable situation.

How and where does find a positive mindset and the ability to laugh no matter what the circumstance?

Look within – change your attitude. Inculcate a positive mindset. Be an optimist.

Scan around – seek out the hidden gems within a problem; be sure there are alternatives just waiting for be discovered.  Share a problem. Ask for help.

Focus away – take a break from the problem. Do something you enjoy; be it a TV serial, a movie, read a book, paint, sing or dance. Ensure that the activity is pleasurable.

Break free – from your self-imposed inhibitions. Stop being superstitious. Don’t be a conformist. Tread a new path. Believe in yourself.

Now you have created an environment and mindset that nurtures happiness. A good laugh is what blooms and the fragrance is enjoyed by not just the person who laughs but by all who laugh along.

Try this:

  1. Read the post on SMILE  – See My Instant Life Energizer by clicking on the link. http://www.poweract.blogspot.in/2010/01/smile.html
  2. Create a scrap book containing some of your favorite jokes, limericks, cartoons, list of humorous books, movies, serials etc. Also jot down some silly things that you did, the bloopers that embarrassed you, incidents that trigger a lusty laugh when you recount them.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

You can impact the world around you NOW

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve theworld. Anne Frank 

Every individual has the power to influence the environment and the people around him/ her. What limits our ability to harness this potential is our inherent inability to believe in ourselves and to accept the reality that our every act if done with good intent and purpose will have a positive effect. Notice how involved we get and how much we enjoy a performance when we can without inhibition clap and cheer. On the other hand we would fail to appreciate the finer aspects of the happenings if we remain constantly critical and negative. Similarly, if we are subject to what we genuinely believe is a poor performance and we do not express our disappointment we would not be helping ourselves or the performers by our silent acceptance.

Here are 5 simple ways to contribute our mite to improving the world.

Participate: The principle applied here is to willingly and genuinely attempt rather than make excuses, play spoilt sport or become adamant. Let us say you go for a Christian Wedding Reception and you are invited to participate in the Wedding March. If the whole concept is alien to you rather than becoming very apprehensive and dogmatic, make an attempt to join in and if you feel genuinely uncomfortable regain your seat. In the process you would have learnt something new, made the environment more lively by your gracious acceptance to play along and chances are you would have enjoyed the experience.

Volunteer: Look around and you will find so many opportunities for you to volunteer and contribute. Do you see someone looking lost and unsure; you can help them feel reassured. Even if you are a guest at a function and there seems to be some confusion or crisis, find out and help out. Do you see some tensions and frayed tempers; step in to diffuse the tension. When there is a major activity being planned, volunteer to take on some activities, preferably one where you have some expertise.

Be proactive: Do we go prepared? Whether it is a meeting / lecture that we are attending or paying a condolence visit or a participant at a picnic we can anticipate some requirements and go prepared. Maybe we have some questions prepared to ask at the end of the lecture or prepared ourselves on the topic by reading up on it. Apart from offering our condolences can we also anticipate some need that we can fulfill for the bereaved family?  As a picnicker we simply go as a guest but the real leaders are those who come prepared with some games or activities to make the outing even livelier.

Encourage: Criticism comes naturally to most of us but offering encouragement is a skill that one must cultivate. Learn to find something appreciate, praise, motivate. Express that loudly and genuinely. If nothing else salute the spirit of the one who is coming last for his/ her spirit of daring and adventure. Learn from the behaviour of legendary coaches who appreciate the efforts of his/ her players even if they have lost a game. The post match critical analysis is always closed door but the pat on the back for every team member is immediate and warmly given.

Smile: The least that one can do to improve the world is to smile. It costs nothing, means much to others and lifts spirits instantaneously. Spreading cheer is within everyone’s power and ability. What is needed is a large heart, a spirit of enterprise, a positive attitude and a zest for life. A smile will never fail you then.

Remember: If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.  Win Borden

Try this:

  1. With a group of likeminded people plan a visit to the mental asylum / the local prison / a hospice for the terminally ill. How will you make use of the learning above to make the visit a very memorable one both for you and those you are visiting?
  2. How will you handle the following scenarios?
  • You are walking along a lonely path and you see a small baby bird that has fallen of the next. You are worried that a cat or dog could attack it. You have never handled birds and feel very uncomfortable.
  • You find a bag left behind in a bus just as you are about to get off the bus.
  • You are in a fair and you notice a small child of 4 years bitterly crying.
  • You are at the railway station to see off a friend. The train is about to leave and you notice a rather stout lady lugging a very heavy bag desperately trying to rush and board the train. In a split second you realize that if you help her with the luggage she can board the train but you will have to board it too if the luggage has to be taken in.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The perfect time is now…

This time like all times is a very good one if we but know what to do with it  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last night, I was deeply disappointed that I ran headlong into a writer’s worst nightmare ‘the writer’s block’ and after pottering around for more than an hour attempting to get going with the blog I simply quit. Funnily enough I enjoyed a good sleep but on waking up was racked with pangs of guilt on not writing the blog, suffering the ignominy of being idealess and I suspect more depressed at the blow to my ego. However as the day wore on it occurred to me that the experience of the previous night was not entirely wasted; after all I was subject to the painful realization of my own limitations; having made the decision to give up and go to sleep my dilemma was resolved and I enjoyed blissful sleep; and on waking up I was glad to rediscover my competitive drive. That time (yesterday when I stared for an hour at a blank screen attempting to write)  just like the present moment that I am writing and this moment that you are reading this post are all equally invaluable provided each of us is doing exactly what was/ is required.

Our successes or failures in life are nothing but net effect of the time we spend fruitfully minus the time we waste in doing things that either we ought not to do or should do at another time. Look back at our own student days and reflect on how much effort we put into studies and how much time we spend in day dreaming, hanging out with friends, sleeping, watching movies TV partying etc. It is not as if to suggest that the latter activities are to be avoided but definitely they must be restricted for each of us is fortunately or unfortunately privy only to 24 hours of the day. A good test to understand how much time we utilize productively is to ask if we have any regrets. The more the regrets the greater the waste of our limited time. Ask if you have taken time out to smell the flowers as you traverse the paths of life. If you haven’t then soon you would realize the frustrtionof having the time but squandering it.

Another test to find out if we have made good use of our time is to answer the question’ what will I do with the last 10 minutes of my life?

Ask if you would end telling yourself the following

I will go around telling those whom I love that I love them passionately

I will go around pardoning all those who hurt me

I will go around seeking pardon from those I hurt,

I will loosen my purse strings and liberally give out to charity etc.

Some questions that will haunt you then are

Can  I do all this in 10 minutes?

Should I have not done this all the time?

Why did I waste my time on frivolous things when I should have spend more time with loved ones?

Was my life worth whatever I achieved?

Will someone really grieve for me?

Remember:

Happy the man, and happy he alone,

He, who can call to-day his own:

He who, secure within, can say:

“To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have liv’d to-day.”

Try this:

  1. Ask yourself right now if this is the right time to read the blog. If your answer is yes then go on and read a few more blog posts including the weekly post at www.poweract.blogspot.com If your answer is NO, then stop reading and slot a time to read and henceforth make it a point to read these posts only at that time.
  2. Any time is perfect to do the following. Ensue that you practice as many of these as often as you can.
  • Smile
  • Thank
  • Apologize
  • Praise
  • Reflect
  • Appreciate
  • Pardon
  • Pray

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Unconditional acceptance

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding.

If you want to know the secret of a popular person, just observe their interactions and communication style and you will make the profound discovery that they are spontaneous and large hearted. It is in those two qualities that they give themselves completely and freely off and that is what the world wants, appreciates and acknowledges. Most of us for example will give alms to a beggar when he / she approaches us but rarely do we stop to give something more as a planned offering given out of our own free will. True we may spare old clothes and left over food, but those are all from our excess and more with a view to avoid wastage than as a genuine heartfelt offering of love. On the other hand, observe volunteers who work in the social service sector for free; they put their heart and soul in what they do.

In our own life there are ample opportunities for us to share ourselves with those who need us.  Beginning with a smile that costs us nothing but enables us to connect with a everyone, we can express ourselves through our conduct, being polite, attentive, even tempered etc. and in our attitude of being positive, helpful and affectionate. In other cases we offer our services out of a sense of obligation as in the case of a blood donation camp or participating in events to make up the numbers. Here the approach is to be obedient and disciplined and cooperative but the spirit seems to be artificial. On the other hand there are many who take the initiative knowing fully well the responsibilities and the pain that comes with the job.

Notice the people who are always smiling and cheerful and you will see that they do not feel obliged or stressed by anything. This is because they have no expectations nor do they feel constrained to act as a matter of duty. Whatever they do they do so out of their sense of compassion, a feeling of gratefulness and because of their urge to share. There are no rewards except perhaps the joy and contentment that accompanies a spontaneous gesture be it taking the injured to the hospital, spending time with the aged and infirm or holding the hand of someone who is deeply distressed and distraught.  These rewards are priceless and that is why they are rewarded only to a select few who just plunge in and initiate action when the going is tough.

Look back and visualize your favorite uncle/ aunt/ grandparents/ teachers and see a common trait that endeared them to you.  They tried hard to understand you, your needs, your feelings, your fears and your longings. While they may never have been able to really fulfill all your needs, you could sense a feeling of comfort, a glow of happiness and the magic of serenity when they were with you. They may have spoken little, offered you nothing but by their sheer loving presence reviewed your spirits and recharged your life. How did they do it? Simply by being there when you wanted them most; you didn’t ask them to they sensed it; they didn’t lecture you but merely held your hand; they just gave themselves to you unconditionally and presto life was wonderful again.

Remember: “The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well”  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Try this:

  1. Volunteer to participate in some social service activity and ensure you stand by your commitment. Choose to share of your talents / your time/ your expertise/ your creativity
  2. Make it a practice to use the power of our senses to give unconditionally to all. Do this in the following manner ( but use discretion please)
  • Sight – Appreciate the grooming / manners/ help/ spontaneous gestures/ the beauty around
  • Smell – Appreciate the aroma of the food/  the perfume/ the fragrance of flowers
  • Touch – Hug a child or a close friend or use it as a gesture of deep sympathy
  • Hearing – give a patient hearing / listen attentively without prejudging
  • Tasting – Criticize with caution / appreciate with warmth all those who feed us

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Laugh at yourself and grow…

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.  Ethel Barrymore

One of the toughest tests of life is ironically handling a test set by ourselves; our ability to laugh at ourselves. All of us enjoy the spectacle of a person being ribbed or the making a fool of himself/ herself or someone unwittingly becoming the butt of jokes but if we are that person at the receiving end, do we have it in us to take the joke with a smile and a foolish grin at best. Nothing embarrasses us as much as slipping on a banana peel; the awkwardness hurts, the physical pain hurts and the unwitting tittering of onlooker’s sears us the most. Usually we get up dust ourselves and avoid any form of any eye contact and sulk away. However if we take umbrage, then most times when we are embarrassed we attempt to  stifle our anger but let our resentment at our tormentors remain unabated and we seek recourse in loud reprimands, retorts or taunts. However we usually fail in our attempts to redeem the situation and instead get sucked in the quick sand of spats.

On the other hand with experience and wisdom of hind sight, when we temper ourselves to see the funny side of our own vulnerability, we join in the hearty laughter and bohemia even if we are at the receiving end of the joke. The ability to laugh at ourselves is not something that we are inborn with but something one cultivates. Human beings have a natural ego, which is what gets triggered if we see ourselves as the butt of the jokes. Obviously it also triggers other emotions like anger, resentment, frustration etc. and the cumulative effect of all these is our propensity to run amuck against our tormentors. This is a futile exercise partly because we are very often outnumbered but mainly because we have lost control of ourselves and whatever our reactions the reality remains unchanged. When we have experienced this painful reality, it dawns on us that since we can’t fight them we might as well join them. Once we reconcile to this reality, we enjoy the joke as much as the others and often the matter is settled in laughter and gaiety.

When we are able to laugh at ourselves we grow up simply because we allow others the luxury of a hearty laugh by taking a dig at our own imperfections. In that moment we also hone our funny bone, learn to tickle ourselves and allow others to get tickled because of us. We grow more when we reconcile to the fact that our imperfections may be a laughing matter for others and in our magnanimity allow them that luxury. We really peak when we are able to control our irritation, annoyance and negative feelings and channelize the energies towards ourselves in a positive way.  Finally, in being able to laugh at ourselves, we reach the pinnacle of self growth when we have a large set of people lapping up our dose of humor most of it self depreciating but in reality holding a mirror to our audience without them realizing it.

Remember: A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. William Arthur Ward

Try this:

  1. Visit a fair where there is a stall that has the mirrors that distort your image. Have loads of fun seeing yourself in the most unusual and ungainly manner. Some of those images may remain etched in your memory simply because you can’t imagine yourself in that distorted image.
  2. Enthusiastically participate in a fancy fete/ outlandish carnival dress competition/ a theme party/ dress up for a Halloween party. Alternatively experiment with clothes you have never ever tried and wear it to a party or gathering ( ensure the clothes are appropriate to the occasion although the style may be something u have never tried on before.)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Humor negates fear

Humor acts to relieve fear.  Dr. William F. Fry, Jr.

One of the best antidotes for fear is humor. A good laugh always tends to lighten the environment; takes one’s mind of the worries even if it is for a few minutes and above all helps us see life in a lighter vein. The wonder of humor is that it is unique to the human race and there are varieties of humor that one can appreciate. Good clean humor is often contrasted by crass humor, there could be slapstick humor that is contrasted by the more restrained tongue in cheek variety. There could be play with puns, a twist in the tale type humor, sarcsism a dangerous type of humor and simple jokes that play on images and vivid distortions of real life.

It takes a lot of courage to be able to see the lighter side of life when life poses life threatening challenges. What we really fail to appreciate is the reality that the good times and the bad times are both just temporary and that soon it will pass too. In fact, whatever our problems, once we have the right attitude to see things in a positive way, we would soon see the bright side of life. This means we can even joke about catastrophe and death without the fear or guilt. The wonder of life is in the reality that even a pauper can see the humorous moments in life and laugh forgetting all his/ her worries and cares.  It shines in the gags of a comedian when taking on the glum business of death and it peaks when a  person on death bed can wipe away the tears of his/ her loved ones with a witty one liner.

There is a danger in humor too. Humor when misunderstood could create a big wedge in a wonderful relationship. In fact, a joke gone too far and too wrong can create a wedge in the deepest of friendships and unless both parties sober down and pardon one another and clear the air, humor can actually trigger fear of more misunderstandings. Sarcasm is an extremely dangerous type of humor. If not handled carefully it can hurt deeply and create wedge that could be near impossible to patch up again. The problem with sarcsism is that it cuts through sharply and deeply because the joke is on an individual and the world a laughs loudly and heartily at the poor individuals expense.

Your life is really enriched if you have a sense of humor and can lighten the air around no matter what the situation. If not, the next best thing is to ensure you have at least one good friend with a good sense of humor who will their wit and repartee, never let the bitterness of the moment or the misery of the occasion overwhelm those present. Actually if one were to study the acronym FEAR, the irony of it won’t be lost on us for it reads False Evidence Appearing Real….can things get funnier than that?

Remember: “A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”  Henry Ward Beecher

Try this:

  1. Pick up some of the good humorous books and enjoy the laughs. If you like animals and love humor do try the book My Family and other Animals by Gerard Durell. You can also try any of the books by James Herriot like All Creatures Great and Small etc. You can also try some of Mark Twain’s books or some of the P.G.Woodhouse books. You have to find your own brand of humor and the books that fit into it.
  2. The Readers Digest is a wonderful source for a wide variety of humor. You can pick up any copy old or new and enjoy the wonderful humor that is clean, entertaining and often very real life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

How do we make friends?

The most popular persons are those who take the world as it is, who find the least fault. Charles Dudley Warner

There is no doubt that given a choice, there are number of people who we would like to keep a distance from. It is equally true that there would also be a set of people with who we would happily spend hours together and perhaps some of them will remain lifelong friends too. The one distinct difference between the first set of people who we abhor and those with whom we share a great equation with, is often their attitude they display. The former are often grumpy, grouchy and forever complaining whereas the latter are very calm, cool and collected and take life as it comes. Naturally we prefer to interact and communicate with all those who are smiling, cheerful and fun to be with, rather than the whiners and the fault finders.

While it is easy to outline our preferences of people whom we like and dislike, we need to also examine our own personal attitude and behavior.  It would also help us if we can objectively analyze what are standing amongst our friends is and how many friends we have. Do we walk with the air of a man happy with the gifts that life has showered on us or do we constantly berate our fate and curse our luck? How do we react to the minor hiccups that punctuate every human beings life; do we get into a frenzy, do we shirk our responsibilities, do we sulk or do we take it in our stride and move on with the rest of our activities without missing a beat? It is essential that we also be capable of emphasizing with those who are less fortunate than us and not cower before those who are powerful and dominant. Our attitude will determine how we react and this in turn will influence how people see us. A smile, good cheer and positive energy will help us attract a large friend circle.

As we go through life, everyday brings us opportunities to widen our friends circle and expand our networking. This is possible simply because we have to regularly interact with others and communicate continuously. However not all contacts become our friends because we filter them out through our lenses of personal preference, comfort level and positive vibes.  Similarly others too would be filtering from their perspective and so it is possible that we do not connect with some people, more so because they do not allow us to come closer. If we look around we would also notice that some people seem to easily connect with people, seem to have a very wide friend circle and above all seem to be happy no matter what the situation. A closer examination of the style of these popular people would reveal to us the reality that each one of them makes an effort to go and meet people,  they ensure that they never spread any negative vibes, almost all of them are humours and best of all they all are happy themselves.

Remember: “Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.” John N. Mitchell

Try this:

  1. Make a list of friends both personal and professional. Find a common thread that binds all these friends. If there is no single thread attempt to find out some commonality in groups of friends. Examine if some of those threads from part of your personality too.
  2. What are the three aspects of your personality that your closest friends make fun off or show their displeasure at. Objectively analyze these traits and honestly ask yourself if you need to change those traits. If you do not have too many friends ask yourself if that is because you are too exacting in your expectations from others or if it is because you do no0t convey the appropriate vibes to others.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

You reflect what you feel

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. William Hazlitt

Most of us are prey to mood swings and often use that as an excuse for our poor manners and behavior at times. The reality is that we behave in a manner that we actually feel inside us. Even attempts to camouflage our inner most feelings work for sometime but sooner or later the people around will sense our true feelings and they may even attempt to covertly or overtly confirm their views by probing us. It is essential therefore for each of us to be aware of our feelings, conscious of our behavior and cautious in our interactions when not in the best mood or frame of mind.

When we are ecstatic about some event or news, we are just seeking people to share that moment of terrific excitement. We are overjoyed and enthusiastic, our communication is rapid and energetic, our focus is on sharing our joy with all and sundry whom we come in contact with. Getting excellent marks in exams, winning a prize or competition, getting engaged, becoming a parent or grandparent etc are momentous events in the life of any human being and these occasions provide the perfect setting for celebrations. On the other hand poor grades, a break up, ill health and death are moments of acute pain and sadness and most times we withdraw and prefer the solitude around. We maybe sullen, sad depressed, angry or frustrated and our communication can be aggressive, resigned or we simply remain silent or prefer to be incommunicado.

There are some of us who have our own quixotic reasons for remaining in a foul mood or remain depressed or behave indifferently. Some of us are in these moods because we crave attention by behaving odd while others believe that there is nothing right going on in their lives. A few might simply believe that they done in by fate and others are simply envious or jealous of others around whom they perceive to be more blessed than themselves. What is uniformly revealing is that all these people exhibit behavior that mirrors their own feelings of despondency and frustration. E.g People who have a short fuse and who fly of the handle at the slightest pretext.  Onlookers can often sense these unacceptable behaviorally patterns and often give such people a wide berth. Someone who has a more humane touch would attempt to accept the behavior and counsel the errant party but might face rejection of his / her efforts.

Can we reign in our moods. Not easy but yes it is controllable. Being aware is the first step. The next is being consciously aware of the effects of our behavior on others and making a determined effort to change our perceptions from within so as to reflect the change in our outward mannerisms. Smiling and thinking positive are immediate cures for a poor attitude.  What is most critical is believing that you have a responsibility to every person whom you come in contact with irrespective of the persons financial or social status.

Remember: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is an excellent maxim to follow.

Try this:

  1. Can you recollect the last 3- 5 times you were brusque , rude, defiant, angry, indifferent  to others. Can you remember the people with whom you behaved like that and the background that prompted such behavior? Who was the main culprit in the matter?
  2. The next time you are upset attempt to take deep breaths, pause and forcibly smile, ensure a big time gap before you interact with anyone, read a joke or see a cartoon or do anything that will improve your mood and make you feel cheerful.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Live daily

We die daily.  Happy those who daily come to life as well.  George MacDonald

Each day brings fresh challenges and with each challenge we tend to worry, get anxious and occasionally panic too; sure shot ways to reduce our life span and die a bit daily. Often we end up being diagnosed as suffering from life style diseases like blood pressure, heart problems and stress related disorders. Life style diseases are nothing but a sophisticated way of saying that we are sick and dying from disorders brought along by the sheer stress of daily living. No doubt that with each passing day we shortening our lives by a day but what we don’t realize is that with added stress and poor personal habits we are future shortening our longevity.

On the other hand, if we observe the elderly around us more carefully we would notice that their longevity secret lies in their ability to cope with daily living with alacrity and discipline. By didn’t of perseverance and courage of conviction, they have chalked out a schedule that ensures that they live life on their terms. Most of them follow an early to bed early to rise policy which coupled with a ‘eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar’ policy ensure that their life style is regimented and orderly. Like most human beings they too are subject to stress but unlike those caught up in the rat race they have chosen to take the slow lane, content with what their achievements and successes. More than anything they value their independence and freedom.

If we take up the gauntlet thrown by our elders we would have learned an important secret of longevity; grateful acceptance of all that we receive. When we are grateful we attain contentment and then every day turns out to be a blessing. Every day lived becomes a life enriching experience and we live without any fear. Our happiness comes from the fact that we have so much to live for family, friends, personal goals, our social commitments, the pleasure of doing a great job etc. On the other hand if every day is drudgery and monotonous, full of anxieties and worry and  /or if our life is driven by compulsions of living and earning then every day a little bit of us dies when we go to sleep. What dies is our self respect, our ego, our initiative, our hopes and aspirations.

To come to life daily smile more, worry less;  laugh more, cry less; feel enthusiastic, banish negativity ; eat moderately, think big; work hard, sleep tight. Learn to live not just breathe; to love not hate; to swim with the tide and not challenge the waves; to smell flowers not just plant trees; to live within our means and not covet what is not ours!

Remember: “No one ever finds life worth living – one has to make it worth living”

Try this:

  1. Take a pot and plant a seed and watch the plant grow. Do you get a sense of happiness when you see the first leaves sprouting and experience tremendous joy when you see the flowers blooming? Imagine your life to be that plant; how will you nurture it to sprout joy and ensure you can spread a fragrance with your mere presence?
  2. Outline the three activities that give you the greatest pleasure. What are the three worries that constantly trouble you? What alternatives do you have  to overcome your worries? Eg. You worry about your job.  The possible alternatives are : Change job, change job profile, change boss, find something interesting in your job, find a good mentor etc.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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