Tag: Sorrows

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

Be a rainbow in someone’s cloud

Look around and you will find lots of people looking for support, encouragement, help and empathy. It need not be strangers; it could be close family members, neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances; the common thread is each of them is suffering in various degrees. While some may merely need reassurance, there could be a few others who need a hand of comfort and others just need someone to lend them their ears. On the extreme end of the spectrum, there could be others on the edge of a nervous breakdown, contemplating hurting themselves or on the verge of committing suicide. There are a lot of people around us alone, afraid, lonely and seeking acknowledgement of their existence. Each of us can play a vital role in making the world around us a more lively, engaging and happier place by just being a rainbow in the life of those around us living under the shadow of a dark cloud threatening to rain and drown them.

Like the seven colors of the rainbow VIBGYOR here are seven ways you can be a rainbow for others.

Acknowledge – Begin by wishing your family members each morning. Similarly by wishing or saying a hello to neighbors, acquaintances, friends whenever we bump into them would be the very basic courtesy one can extend to another. As social animals, every individual needs the company of others to live a meaningful life. By simply wishing and acknowledging them we are offering them our warmth which is always reciprocated and warms us too. Incidentally, using basic etiquette’s like saying please, sorry, thank you, excuse me etc. also largely do the same thing; respecting their individuality while also being courteous.

Smile – No one wants to see a grumpy, grouchy, cry booby. A smile, laughter, joy  is always welcome. Nothing can be more invigorating than a smile. A smile not only evokes a pleasant response, it actually energizes the self too. (SMILE is nothing but an acronym for See My Instant Life Energizer – click to read more about it here – http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/01/smile.html )

Talk – Communication is the thread that binds human beings. While non verbal communication is both powerful and perhaps more widely used, it is talk that is consciously acknowledged as the principal medium of communication. An acknowledgement by way of a nod or a smile are powerful non verbal tools of communication, talking with another helps strengthen relationships. It also opens doors to better understanding and is a quick way to connect more intensely with people.

Help – Action, they say speaks louder than words. So while talk as a means of communication is powerful, it is any action that is offered in terms of helping another is the icing on the cake of relationships.  Simple acts like picking up something that some has dropped or helping someone with a heavy luggage or just spending time with the elderly or sick,  is help that would be much valued. Helping someone in trouble, be it rescuing someone or taking someone to a hospital or babysitting, putting in word to someone influential to get a problem sorted, donating blood when required  etc. are opportunities that  are relatively much more valued than monetary help. At times monetary help too is required but that is subject to our own ability to help out.

Encourage – Encouragement takes many forms. The most obvious is when a person is down an out, giving them some motivational inputs and allying their worries and fears. Encouragement could also take the form of heartily congratulating success and nudging the person to up the bar. Encouragement could also be subtle hints with appealing logic on how to do even better, suggesting course corrections and in extreme cases discouraging individual from taking a path of failure or self destruction. Appreciation is a fantastic form of encouragement. Achievements, good deeds, extraordinary performance all need to be appreciated, for that encourages individuals aim for higher glory. Since man does not live on bread alone, he needs encouragement to nourish his/ her spirit too.

Surprise them – A phone call to a long lost friend or a letter to a former teacher, a visit to an elderly friend or relative can be varied forms of surprises. Similarly sending a surprise gift on a significant occasion that you are privy to would be warmly appreciated and make a big difference to people. Volunteering help, finding solutions to problems of people who least expect it from you would always be much valued.

Share their sorrows – Happiness shared is doubled and sorrows shared are halved so the saying goes. The brightest rainbows are those that appear after a heavy shower. Be that rainbow in the life of people who are going through tough times, serious difficulties and those battling personal tragedies.

Try these:           

Try volunteering your services using any of your abilities/ talents to orphanages, hospice, prisons, old age homes, homes for the differently abled / mentally challenged.

Think back and make a list of people and events in which you were the recipient of any or all of the above support that lit up your life when you were in gloom.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Joys and sorrows

No one gives joy or sorrow … We gather the consequences of our own deeds. Garuda Purana

The immediate reaction one has when reading the above is that we have so many troubles which legitimately should not be ours. In our view we have only done good and have scrupulously followed the law of the land and the beliefs of our faith and so the unbearable pain and troubles are definitely not the consequences of our bad deeds. Pause for a moment and focus on the joys that you are blessed with. Oh there are so many gifts and blessings that we may never really have deserved and yet we have been showered with them. Ask if you really did such extraordinary deeds that made you worthy of the bounty freely given to you? If you try to balance the fortunes and misfortunes, invariably we would feel that we could do with more of some fortunes; this is human nature for in our human weakness we fail to fully appreciate our good fortune be it material wealth, intellectual wealth, loads of friends, good health, good family background etc. We also tend to exaggerate our problems and troubles.

However if we attempt to examine our joys and sorrows that pepper each day of our life, then we would perhaps observe a more identifiable pattern. It takes a little effort to understand the pattern and we must be objective about it without attempting to rationalize our joys and/ or sorrows. Almost all of our joys, one would notice, have come about because we prepared ourselves for it by working for it, hoping for it, by doing our duty without any expectations or by praying for it. On the contrary our sorrows in most cases came about chiefly because we were casual, negligent, irresponsible, indifferent and / or undisciplined in our ways. Our exams marks is a good reflection of how we prepared and succeeded or failed. No doubt there could be exceptions where we did everything possible yet did not triumph or by a quirk of fate did very well in exams for which we barely prepared.  On the work front too our growth and promotions or monetary returns is directly correlated to our efforts and hard work.

There is another angle to the whole business of being rewarded with joys or burdened with our sorrows and that is the short term view we take as opposed to the long term effects. On hindsight many of our joys and troubles seem to have been bestowed on us at the opportune time. Our joys have helped us strengthen our self belief and shaped our positive attitude while the sorrows have helped us better appreciate the riches we have. Sometimes the sorrows have been opportune for it has paved the way forward to a more rewarding path. Eg. Not scoring enough to get into medicine or engineering may have pushed us to change tracks and thereby enter a more rewarding and satisfying career. There is comfort in the knowledge that we are never ever burdened with more than what we can handle and always rewarded with more than what we deserve. It is for us to be able to cope with the pressures and handle our joys with equanimity and humility.

Remember: “Focus on making yourself happy and you’ll soon be miserable. Focus on bringing joy to others and your own happiness will quickly follow.”  Roy H. Williams

Try this:

  1. Think of a time when you felt terrible because you were deeply disappointed. Ask yourself if that particular incident had a major bearing on your attitude, confidence, psyche.  Now also recollect a couple of very special happy moments in your life. How did impact your future? Have you ever been falsely accused and punished in your life? How did it feel?
  2. Are you one of those people who feel that you will never win a lottery/ bingo/ lucky dip? Have you stopped enjoying playing such games because you feel you will never win?  Don’t you think it is better to enjoy playing and have a chance of winning than not playing and always believing you will not win for you can win only if you play.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Sorrow is a fruit…

Sorrow is a fruit.  God does not allow it to grow on a branch that is too weak to bear it. Victor Hugo

Not all fruits are sweet; unripe fruit for example or some varieties of citrus fruits are far from being sweet. Yet we consume it, occasionally relish it and definitely acknowledge them as fruits of Gods bounty. If we look at sorrow in a similar vein, it will dawn on us that sorrow is fruit that may taste bitter but has vital graces in it that steadies our life and our existence. The one sorrow that always encapsulates each and every human being is the pain we feel when someone dies particularly if the person sis someone close and intimate to us. Often the intensity of the pain is inversely proportionate to the age of the deceased but that in no way lessens the ache or the feeling of despondency that envelops us. Yet, over time we learn to overcome that pain and get on with life.

While death is a reality that we are reconciled to, what we find harder to bear are the sorrows brought about by a sudden quirk of fate. Someone close to us or even if we are diagnosed with a terminal illness or we get cheated by someone we trust implicitly or break down of a marriage which seem really made in heaven are varied reflections of the quirks of fate. Even tougher is the thought of reconciling to the reality that your child is challenged in any way. Despite these terrible calamities that make us despair and question God’s wisdom, we eventually accept the reality and move on purposefully to make the best of a worst case scenario.

History is witness to numerous forays and battles of kings and Generals of old who have enjoyed the fruits of success and also witnessed the pain of losing and being prisoner. Rarely does history record that they rued their failings or shyed away from taking responsibility for their misadventures.  They reflect a quality that is the heart of the human civilization, the forbearance to accept fate, the courage to dare and the resilience to attempt challenges again. Sorrow is a feeling that overcomes us at times but it should never overcome us and immobilize us for then life comes to a standstill. Even when sorrows come in torrents, we only need to withstand that test of life and mourn those moments.  Then we need to gather our wits about us and recoup to face life with a confidence that in effect says; you can test me, you can tease me and you can torture me but you cannot touch my spirit.

Remember: “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” Victor Hugo

Try this:

  1. Visit an old age home or a palliative care centre. Listen to the sorrows of the inmates. Do you think you have comparable sorrows? Seek out some of the inmates who spread cheer and comfort to the others. What is the learning you get from them?
  2. Reflect on the most sorrowful moments of your life. What made those moments so poignant? How did you manage to overcome them? Are you resentful and hurt still that fate cheated you by sending you those sorrows?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com