Tag: Strengths

Discovering the real YOU.

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Thomas Jefferson

Many of us spend a lot of time pondering over the future and going around in circles confused and fearful about our fate. We shy away from finding out answers to some fundamental questions like

  • Who am I and how do I hope to shape my future?
  • What do I want to do with my life?
  • What are those values and qualities I cherish?
  • What are the fears that torment me?
  • Who are the people I can depend upon?
  • What are my yardsticks for success?
  • How do I go about achieving success?

Obviously there are no easy answers that will emerge in a jiffy but if we dismiss these questions as impossible to answer, the questions would keep lurking n our mind and torment us thereby impeding our productivity, happiness and peace of mind.

The answers to all the questions seem hidden, obscure and / or elusive but in reality they are merely packaged within the individual personality that you are. If you want to discover it, you would need to see yourself as a package doing the rounds in a game of ‘passing the parcel’ where a dimension of you is subtly revealed when you are vulnerable, exploited, hurt, abused or manhandled like the parcel, by those you interact and deal with. When every layer of the parcel is peeled out and you delve deeper and deeper, suddenly the parcel opens up to throw up a surprise gift ‘YOU”

The practical way out to discover yourself now is to unravel the real you and that can be done when you Act with Purpose, Ponder with Insight and Accept the reality with Grace.

Act with purpose : While our formative years were by and large guided and molded by parents, elders and teachers, our dependence on them will reduce as the years go by and we grow up to be mature individuals. Hopefully we would have accepted sane advice and guidance and focused on our values, education, manners, career choice etc. when we begin to furrow our own path our upbringing should discipline us make choices with positive purpose. The learning both formal and informal, our intelligence, our experience, the feedback we receive, the risks we take, the options we avoid are all partly subconscious but largely a purposeful goal driven activity. In effect we never idle away our time or waste our resources but act with purpose to achieve our goals.

Ponder with Insight: Of and on we do tend to look back and wonder about the twists and turns in our life and occasionally we would lament and rue some mistakes and lost opportunities and also be pleased about those right moves we made. Often we will keep analyzing the present, keep attempting to improve up on the existing and make efforts to learn, improve, adjust and adapt to the changes that we experience, perceive or imagine.  We would simultaneous also look ahead and with the wisdom of past experience, the knowledge of the current trends and the applying our commonsense and foresight, ponder with insight and plan for the present and future. Without realizing we would have discovered some key competencies, some harsh realities and the real facts about ourselves.

Accept the reality with Grace: Where we fail is in accepting the reality of our personality. We would need to enthusiastically accept our strengths, our abilities, our talents and our potential and leverage them to raise the bar of personal excellence. Tougher still is the challenge of accepting the reality of our limitations, our weakness, our insipid temperament and our irrational fears which curb our risk taking,  restrict our horizons and expose our inadequacies.  Once we learn to accept the reality of our personality with grace we would have discovered the secret of how to find happiness within ourselves.

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.  William James

Try this:

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1 being very poor and 10 being excellent) your abilities on. Now ask your spouse or sibling or close associate to do a similar rating for you. Compare the results.

  • Managing your time
  • Taking decisions
  • Interacting with people
  • Handling crisis
  • Being creative

Download the attached file Human Emotions  and from the list of emotions list out 5 Positive Emotions and 5 Negative Emotions that are typical of you. Now for emotion that you have listed give a suitable example from your life to make sure the emotion has been experienced by you. Next take a print of the file and show it to the following people and ask them to outline those emotions which in their view are applicable to you. You may make some revealing realities about yourself from the replies of others.

  • A family member (preferably a sibling)
  • A close friend
  • A colleague
  • An old school chum
  • A new acquaintance (they have to judge your emotions based on your interactions)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


The secret to your future

Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you. Frank Tyger

All of us, me included have a hundred different reasons and excuses to justify why we haven’t realized our full potential. The reality though is that nothing absolutely nothing is going to chance the past. Yet irrespective of one’s age, social status, financial status, academic background, past history and the like, there is a wonderful future that each of us can embrace whole heartedly if we are prepared to boldly accept the challenge and work purposefully towards it. There are 4 conditions that one has to fulfill in order to make the future you want for yourself.

The first is to remember the lessons of the past without holding on to the past. We fail to progress beyond our past performance simply because we live with ghost of past failures, keep brooding over the wasted opportunities that we never took advantage of and often meander into some of those rare moments of triumphs and successes we did relish occasionally. While we certainly cannot erase the past completely, we must learn to identify the key learning and keep that uppermost in mind as we proceed further so as to avoid the same pitfalls of the past. We must never let the bad past ruin a perfect present or take away from us the immense possibilities that lay ahead of us.

The second is to believe in yourself and yet be pragmatic about your strengths and weakness. Each one of us has it within us the ability to stretch ourselves to excel. Excellence is ensuring that we use our abilities to the fullest extend and must not be mistaken to mean always out performing others. It is obvious then that we need to asses ourselves dispassionately and leverage our strengths without letting our weaknesses become a stumbling block. It would also entail us having the courage of conviction to take calculated risks, the daring to fail and yet not give up and to pursue our dreams with steely resolve and self confidence.  As rightly said it is our attitude that determines our altitude.

The third is to always have a goal to focus on. What really lets us down is an indisciplined approach to the future. The prime reason for this is lack of clarity as to where we want to go and what we want to achieve. Perhaps we would be a lot happier if we could simply identify our personal, professional, financial and spiritual goals. Perhaps we have a hazy idea of our goals, but then we are tempted to change the goal posts in the hope of scoring at will. Goals helps us concentrate, enable us to channelize the resources required and helps us chart our progress and if need be take the corrective measures to ensure that we make the best of our future. It is sarcastically observed that if we do not know our destination any road will lead us there.

The fourth is to adapt, change, improve, transform yourself to ensure that you are progressing towards your goal. Simply put this means that one has to make umpteen sacrifices if one were to make the best of the future ahead. Look what happened to the dinosaurs of old who became extinct simply because they could not adapt, change, improve or transform themselves to meet the onslaught of change. While we make not suffer such an ignominy, it is very possible that the future we face by being rigid and uncompromising can be painful, frustrating and very regrettable. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. It is imperative that  we change else the chances are that we will fall in the second category.

Remember: “Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.”  Denis Waitley

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 lessons you learnt from any failures/ regrets that you have from your past.
  2. Ask a few close friends to name 3 of your strengths and one weakness they perceive in you. Reflect on these particularly on the weakness and work out how you can use the new knowledge about yourself to shape your future.
  3. Take a pencil and paper and do the following
  • Make a sketch of your dream house. Now put a realistic price tag to it.
  • Make a realistic assessment of what your monthly savings should be and what you think should be your monthly income after you attain the age of 60.
  • Make a plan for an overseas holiday with your spouse and the roadmap to make it happen in the next 2 years.
  • Outline your definition of a successful person. Now write down your own success statement.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Self belief is the key

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

Nothing feels worse than the bitter taste of being accused of being a fool in front of people by some megalomaniacs who go out of their way to use their power and position to humiliate, insult and trample upon your ego. We do not retaliate simply because we are helpless in the presence of authority and possibly are too frightened to face the consequences of retaliation.  While not retaliating for one’s own good is common sense it is the deep humiliation that rankles us, which is what we need to objectively analyze and get control off.

To begin with we need to understand that the sick feeling we get in the pit of our stomach when insulted and humiliated is because of our primary feeling of being made to feel inferior in front of others. If we see it objectively, there is no reason why we need to feel that way because the faux pas is committed by the other party in attempting to run us down. That in no way means that we are not competent or capable and we should never let that feeling pervade our senses or our psyche.  However we are by temperament sensitive and while deep in our hearts we know that have our solid merits, our mind plays tricks and a seed of doubt starts sprouting. For no apparent reason we being to start doubting our abilities, question the motives of those who question our abilities and mentally juggle the humiliation seeking to find proof that we are not what is insinuated.

There are times when we fall into the trap of self depreciation and undermine our own strengths and abilities. When our mindset itself is skewed to doubts and failure, the slightest suggestion that we are in some way not meeting the standards makes feel inferior and worthless. We tend to harp psychologically on the minor mistakes we may have committed and then blow it out of proportion and conclude that we are not capable. Ironically when we have major achievements to our credit, we underplay it as something that is expected of us and so not of special significance. On the other hand if we believed in ourselves we may be subdued in our successes but definitely we would at least seek to clarify mattes if we our credentials or abilities are questioned or challenged.

What is common to the two reactions viz. the feeling of being made to feel inferior and the undermining of our own abilities is that we are responsible for both situations. If we had the self belief in ourselves and the courage of conviction to stand up to showcase our achievements we would never have to ever feel hurt, insulted or humiliated. Obviously then there is no feeling of being inferior to anyone and we actually have the daring to side step any false insinuations with dignity and self confidence.  It is when we give our consent to let people get away with false propaganda against us and when we do not take a proactive step to correct wrong impressions that is when we let ourselves feel inferior. The antidote is to think positive, have a winner’s mindset and project our true strengths to the world at large.

Remember: “While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, another is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.”  Henry C. Link

Try this:

  1. Make a list of the 5 most challenging achievements you have managed to date.  Outline the key factors that helped you succeed. Was your own self belief a major reason for your success?
  2. Ask yourself how often other peoples negative comments about your work or contribution have made you feel insecure, hurt and worthless?  Were those comments of the others really justified? How could you have responded differently and corrected the false impression they have about you?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

The Awakening

When a man begins to understand himself, he begins to live. Norvin G. McGranahan

Unlike animals who are disturbed only when their primal instincts are aroused, man is that odd creature who is more often than not disturbed, distracted and downcast. While food, survival, shelter and procreation are the stress areas of the rest of the animal kingdom, man adds to these worries by seeking recognition, craving for material wealth, ego massaging and fearing the future. Instead of working with his/ her strengths, man is more determined to stave off the competition even if it means focusing on bringing down the others rather than pushing themselves up.

When one begins to introspect, that is when there is a glimmer of awakening. With some effort one can begin to understand himself/ herself. This understanding could mean appreciating that competition is good for benchmarking, fear is a survival tool and not a motivator, change is permanent and needs to be befriended and that life is journey not a destination. When wisdom dawns it also exposes us to the layers of prejudices, perceptional anomalies that have made us myopic and the ill effects of short term vision that have blinded us from seeing the wider canvas that life has to offer.

It is only when man begins to understand himself that he sees the big picture and suddenly like sunlight that dispels the darkness, there is a new awakening within. We then no longer see ourselves as a small cog in a big wheel but rather as vital components in critical machinery. Our size/ role may look small, but like the fragile filament in a light bulb, we hold the power to light up or disrupt the scene. While we suddenly realize our own individual power, we also realize that it is only when we cooperate with similar likeminded individuals and collectively and unitedly act that we can make a substantial difference to our own fate our environment and the community at large.

The realization that he/ she wields much more power than what was originally visualized, is an inflection point that triggers a proactive revolution. We now seek to master our fate, overcome our self imposed limitations and attempt to be influential change agents.

Remember: “The awakening of potentialities of human beings is the most important thing in life”

Try these:

  1. Visualize yourself as the President of your country. Outline the 5 major change you will focus upon. Don’t just write clichés like Poverty Eradication or Free Education instead focus on one local level problem, one regional problem, one state level problem and one national problem that you are deeply concerned about.
  2. It is imperative we appreciative our strengths. Our biggest strength is the blessing of having our senses intact. To realize its value do the following. Blindfold yourself and potter around for an hour in your house. Do not sleep during this period but be constantly on the move. Next tie both your hands together with a piece of string and attempt to do your normal tasks for a day. This must be ideally tried in the morning when you get up so that right from brushing your teeth to making breakfast becomes a challenge. Do you have a better appreciation of your strengths? How will you use it better.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com