Tag: Suffering

Two types of pain

33- 10 Sept 17- Two types of painEach of us must have experienced both forms of pain at various points in our life. The pain that hurts us can be physical pain or psychological pain. Physical pain, unless it is a permanent pain, is often forgotten once we are physically healed. The psychological pain on the other hand tends to remain with us for a much longer time, perhaps in some cases even lifelong. The trauma of pain that hurts is now better managed by medication, counseling and therapy, yet the experience often leaves an individual  scarred, bitter at times and definitely wary of going through the agony once again.

The same pain that we experience be it physical or psychological, can be channelized by every individual by using the right attitude and thinking to become a life changing experience. Not just life changing for the individual but also life changing for the people around, the circle of influence we can reach out to. The very essence of pain management is an excellent example of it. It is the result of years of experimentation and research done by individuals who dealt with people in pain and decided to reach out to alleviate the pain of such people. However, although most of us as individuals may not have the technical expertise to do the same, each of us can develop the right attitude and thinking to change our approach to managing our pain as well as the pain of those around us.

Accept what cannot be changed This is the toughest part of managing pain. Embracing the inevitable, making peace with the reality and looking at pain from the prism of positivity would enable an individual to accept the unchangeable faster and more whole heartedly. Death of a loved one, the loss of a limb or a physical transformation due to an accident or having an incurable disease like MND would require the individual to accept the reality that life is altered forever. Once an individual makes peace with this reality, reorienting the thinking is a relatively easier process.

Channelize your pain to transform your life – Be it your pain or you being a part of another’s pain would always impact your life. If a close friend or family member is in any type of pain, it impacts you also. You need to channelize the pain into seeing it as a way to learn some lessons be it reorienting your thinking or being made aware of people who you took for granted as being more dependable or finding your hidden reservoir of strength to mange yourself.

Empathize with those in pain – Be there for people who are in pain. Comfort them by your understanding, presence and patience. Divert their minds to pleasant thoughts, beautiful memories of the past and give them hope. Let them know that you share their suffering and that you would like to share their burden. Understanding the trauma of those in the throes of psychological pain is very tough because we tend to use logic or rationalize it. However, emotions run a lot deeper and they remain simmering within the individual. It is essential that those around try and draw the person out of his/ her trauma, reassure them of getting their life back on track and show them hope in the future. This can dull the pain, the fear and inject in them a strong desire to make a stronger comeback.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional – This is the mantra that each one should adopt and share. Each of us will experience a variety of pain in varying degrees. We need to quickly get to grips with it and try to mitigate it by dwelling less on the suffering and instead focusing on how it is changing you to become stronger, more resilient and helping you discover your inner strength.

Try these

  1. List out 5 activities that give you maximum pain. The challenge is to confront each of them and to jot down the learning from it each time you confronted it.
  2. Attempt one or more of the following:
  • Visit an elderly / lonely neighbor once a week
  • Go to the local hospital and ask the social worker how you can help out
  • You can also visit a hospice or old age home or a home for the challenged
  • Visit a nearby park and notice people who seem alone/ lonely. See if you can strike a conversation with them and bring a smile to their face.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog


Sorrow is a fruit…

Sorrow is a fruit.  God does not allow it to grow on a branch that is too weak to bear it. Victor Hugo

Not all fruits are sweet; unripe fruit for example or some varieties of citrus fruits are far from being sweet. Yet we consume it, occasionally relish it and definitely acknowledge them as fruits of Gods bounty. If we look at sorrow in a similar vein, it will dawn on us that sorrow is fruit that may taste bitter but has vital graces in it that steadies our life and our existence. The one sorrow that always encapsulates each and every human being is the pain we feel when someone dies particularly if the person sis someone close and intimate to us. Often the intensity of the pain is inversely proportionate to the age of the deceased but that in no way lessens the ache or the feeling of despondency that envelops us. Yet, over time we learn to overcome that pain and get on with life.

While death is a reality that we are reconciled to, what we find harder to bear are the sorrows brought about by a sudden quirk of fate. Someone close to us or even if we are diagnosed with a terminal illness or we get cheated by someone we trust implicitly or break down of a marriage which seem really made in heaven are varied reflections of the quirks of fate. Even tougher is the thought of reconciling to the reality that your child is challenged in any way. Despite these terrible calamities that make us despair and question God’s wisdom, we eventually accept the reality and move on purposefully to make the best of a worst case scenario.

History is witness to numerous forays and battles of kings and Generals of old who have enjoyed the fruits of success and also witnessed the pain of losing and being prisoner. Rarely does history record that they rued their failings or shyed away from taking responsibility for their misadventures.  They reflect a quality that is the heart of the human civilization, the forbearance to accept fate, the courage to dare and the resilience to attempt challenges again. Sorrow is a feeling that overcomes us at times but it should never overcome us and immobilize us for then life comes to a standstill. Even when sorrows come in torrents, we only need to withstand that test of life and mourn those moments.  Then we need to gather our wits about us and recoup to face life with a confidence that in effect says; you can test me, you can tease me and you can torture me but you cannot touch my spirit.

Remember: “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” Victor Hugo

Try this:

  1. Visit an old age home or a palliative care centre. Listen to the sorrows of the inmates. Do you think you have comparable sorrows? Seek out some of the inmates who spread cheer and comfort to the others. What is the learning you get from them?
  2. Reflect on the most sorrowful moments of your life. What made those moments so poignant? How did you manage to overcome them? Are you resentful and hurt still that fate cheated you by sending you those sorrows?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Inspiration from suffering

We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival. Sir Winston Churchill

Often when faced with difficulties and sufferings all we think about is, the means to escape the pain.  While that is the perfectly valid response for someone in pain, the truly enlightened will seek to transform the pain into energy to be harnessed for long term benefit. This requires both a stout heart and the ability to think differently. Look at all those who went through the holocaust; or take the Vietnamese who emerged triumphant from their long drawn war with America; or look at those who moved across borders during the great partition of the Indian Subcontinent. Every one of them is a shining example of a caterpillar which struggled to emerge from its cocoon as a beautiful butterfly.

How does one find the resilience to bear the pain and not lose hope? Faith, prayer and hope are the three pillars on which those suffering build their edifice and draw their strength from. Faith in themselves, faith that they can change their own destinies and faith that tomorrow will be different and more favorable. Prayer provides the nourishment for the soul, props up the sagging spirit and inspires great miracles within the humble soul. Hope is the equivalent of oxygen. Hope helps the hopeless gasp, offers them the proverbial straw to grasp and emboldens both body and soul.

On a more personal level, one can be dealt a cruel blow by fate and it will only be the right attitude, self belief and  the joy of living that will be the crutches on which one will have to learn to walk tall and erect when on the winding trails of life. It could be a debilitating disease, a loss of a loved one, failure in business, a sudden economic blow or the vagaries of modern living like a bomb blast, an air crash etc that can trigger the personal crisis. Imagine a couple having to cope with the birth of children who are mentally challenged. Every day is a painful reminder of the unfortunate fate of their kids, every night a nightmare about the future of the children and every breath a question that haunts them ‘ Why us’? Yet when they look at the same problem differently, they realize they are chosen because they have the fortitude to accept, the forbearance to endure and the wisdom to trust the future by planning  for it.

As life leads us on, we will realize that there are good days and there are bad days. It is our way of seeing things that makes the good days glorious days and the not so good days look a lot better than what it really is. Look within yourself and you will see the fountain that will always quench your thirst and help you experience the miracle called  LIFE.

Remember: “Suffering, once accepted, loses its edge, for the terror of it lessens, and what remains is generally far more manageable than we had imagined.” Lesley Hazelton

Try these:

  1. Think of the time you lost something very valuable. It could be an important document, possession or heirloom. How did you react to this loss? Did you brood for days on end? Did you suspect people? Did you blame your own carelessness or pass the blame on to others? How did you reconcile to not finding it?
  2. Spend a day at a special school for the mentally challenged. Actively interact with the students and work out how you can contribute to their needs? Time and talents are the most important thing you need to share. Did the experience make you feel more blessed?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com