Tag: Temperence

A true measure of your worth

36-your-real-worth

Physical wealth, be it money and possessions are a good measure to judge how financially secure a person is. It is also a great asset to lead a reasonably good and comfortable life. It is also a good magnet to attract friends and widen one’s social circle. It is also a good inducement to garner support, influence opinion and climb ups the social ladder. However, physical wealth would be a poor indicator of a person’s true worth. This is because wealth can be created, acquired or inherited  but wealth can never buy reputation and good will which has to be earned, respect and recognition which comes from a deep appreciation of the individual in you, your sense of fair play and justice which comes from personal values and your emotional balance and empathy for others which comes from the heart.

We need to examine these a little more in detail to understand an individual’s true worth.

Reputation and goodwill : It take a life time to build a reputation and goodwill. It comes from doing the right things at the right time, avoiding the undesirable and being perceived as someone who is dependable, principled and balanced. It based on the general perception people have of an individual over a long period of time. It is often reflected in the simplicity, humility and achievements of an individual and society’s perception of these qualities.

Respect and Recognition: Respect and recognition comes with age and maturity. How a person has grown personally and professionally would have a large bearing on this. It could also come from the insightful contribution of the individual in his social and professional environment and the positive influence he/ she has had on those around them.

Fair play and justice: Displaying fair play and justice comes largely from being principled and this in turn is largely influenced by one’s upbringing, personal values and courage of conviction. The ability to hold a minority view point, the daring to express a dissenting note and tuning one’s moral compass in the direction of what is the truth.

Emotional balance and empathy: This is tougher to judge for individuals can display a different personality in private and be very different in public. However one cannot keep a quick temper, a giant size ego, a negative aura or a irrational outbursts only in the private space. How one deals with those at your mercy, with those who look up to you for support, those who differ from you in thought word and deed are primary pointers to an individual’s emotional balance and empathy.

When you attend a funeral where there is a large turnout, do you see some of the above points being reflected in that deceased persons life and it being a prominent reason for the large turnout?  Perhaps these are also critical considerations for others who will part with their last penny if ever you seek their help. Therein lies your real worth; what others value you for.

Try these:

  1. List out 5 qualities / values/ traits that you think others really value in you. Jot out a couple of qualities/ values / traits / habits that others criticize you for. What can you do improve upon those criticisms?
  2. What are the few social problems that really irritate and annoy you? What have you done about it? Is there anything more you can do about it?
  3. How will you deal with the following:
  • You answered 6 questions instead of 5 which was the norm. The teacher corrected all the answers and erroneously added the marks of the sixth question to the total as a result of which you passed the exam. Would you bring the error to the teachers notice or ignore it?
  • You are cleaning your cupboard and come across a book you had a borrowed from a college mate five years. When the college mate asked you return the book, since you could not find it, you lied to him/ her that you had returned it. The friend was upset with you since he/she did not recollect you returning the book.  A couple of years have gone by since that incident and you are not in touch with that college mate but you do know in which city he/ she is. Would you pick up courage to return the book and apologize to that friend? Alternatively what would you do?
  • You are on an outstation trip and while walking you stumble upon a wallet containing Rs.15,000. In that wallet you find some torn papers listing out a couple of names of individuals. It also has a dry cleaners bill of a certain city and a tailors bill of another city. The names on both these bills are different. Both the bills do not have any telephone numbers on it. What will you do?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

The moment of truth

We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.  ~Denis Diderot

It is human nature to seek recognition, enjoy appreciation, be elated when praised and  be ecstatic when put on a pedestal as an achiever. It is also true that we are hurt when criticized, annoyed when admonished, depressed when berated and livid when we perceive ourselves to be insulted. The reality is that as individuals we have to accept the fact that we will be subject to all these and many more such emotions in our lives for none of us is perfect. Yet a little introspection will reveal that most times when we are recipients of positive observations even if it borders on flatter we are lustily drink of it and if subject to anything negative we attempt to reject, rationalize, ignore and if forced to, swallow it with diffidence.

Temperance is a virtue that is critical for every individual to have a balanced view of ones own self. The reality can then be better appreciated, accepted and acted upon. To begin with our achievement however big or small needs to be savored without us gloating over it as if it is the only thing in life. If we do not perceive ourselves as achievers we tend to long for any positive comment and then drum it up to believe that we have attained success of rare proportions. The truth is that with every achievement we are actually raising the bar for us to perform even better. This is actually a tough call since we may be limited by our own weakness and fear of underperformance. Despite this even if we know that the praise we get is disproportionate to our achievements we lap it up with great relish.

Criticism is something that is always a very bitter pill to swallow. Even if it is sugar coated, the bitterness and the resentment is not easy to overcome. The biggest problem is our inability to stare at our misdemeanors squarely for it is both embarrassing and often a trifle shameful to handle. Therefore our way of coping up when criticized is to rationalize and justify our act often remonstrating and protesting indignantly. We are just not ready to accept blame, acknowledge our faults nor look objectively at the feedback when it is negative. While there may be rare times we are unfairly made victims of negative criticism the truth is that there could be a fair amount of truth in most other negative feedback that is received by us. Yet we tend to stall its impact, side step the core issues and underplay its seriousness.

If we see each day as being a new opportunity to improve ourselves we would be able to have a balanced perspective of the positive and negative feedback we receive. Our virtues when recognized must be viewed as strengths that we can utilize even more effectively and the blips that our pointed out can be studied with more calmness and equanimity so that we can work on eliminating all that actually hampers our performance and our personal growth.

Remember: “You can bend it and twist it… You can misuse and abuse it… But even God cannot change the Truth.” Michael Levy

Try this:

  1. What is the one criticism about you that you felt was
  • Harshly said to you
  • Was unjustified
  • Was done with malicious intent
  • Was hurtful but true
  1. When and how did you praise
  • Your spouse
  • Your colleague
  • Your neighbor
  • Your best friend
  • Someone whom you are not too cordial with
  • A stranger

For the following situations ask yourself how you would react. Your options are

  1. Yes I will
  2. Am not sure what I would do
  3. No I won’t

The situations are as under:

  • If I had the opportunity to fudge my marks in an exam I would _____
  • If I found a wallet with no identification marks but containing a huge wad of money I would give it to charity_____
  • Your neighbor is a very irritating character.  One midnight he rings the bell and asks for painkiller for a tooth ache. Would you give it if you have it? ____
  • Your best friend at work wants you to lie for him/ her so that he/ she can claim to be sick and go out of town for a pleasure trip during the peak season which is against company policy and would put pressure on the other employees. Would you do it? ___

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com