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5 - Positive evolutionEvery event, be it of the past, the current or the imagined future, influences our thinking, attitude, behavior and responses. Those events from the past that have scarred us, those that we do not like in the present and those that we fear in the future keep impacting us negatively. These tend to largely overshadow the blessings of the past, the wonders of the present and the opportunities of the future. It is therefore essential that we learn to reorient our thinking, start seeing the past present and future through a filter of positivity if we are to make our life more fun, more meaningful and more productive.

Be grateful for the past – If one were to dispassionately evaluate the past, for most of us it would become obvious that barring a few stray awkward, embarrassing, challenging and painful incidents life had been fun filled, happy and enjoyable. Yet we tend to largely focus on what has not gone right overlooking the more significant, satisfactory and fulfilling parts of our journey thus far. Of course the failures, the hurt and the pain of the past cannot be brushed aside but focus on the lessons learned from it. Focus on the transformation that took place because of it and made you a better person. If you still carry the baggage of the hurt of the past, it is a good time to offload it today. Relook the past with an eye to refresh, recollect and reflect on the blessings of the past; the wonderful childhood you have had, the loving care of the family around, the friends and relationships you have built up over the years, the success your were cheered for, the memories that you can forever cherish. If one uses that as the fulcrum of the past life, the present would also be seen in the same perspective provided one makes that effort.

Be engaged in the present – One common aberration in our daily living is the habit of lapsing into the ‘Good old days’ syndrome. The opposite extreme is to find fault with everything that does not happen the way we want it or the way we expect it to be. The present is where we are living and if we can see it as a wonderful place and time to be in, one can experience the joys that abound everywhere and all around us. Mechanization for instance has made our life a lot easier but do we value it? Communication technology has ensured we can be in touch instantaneously and with numerous people; yet do you feel lonely? Transportation revolution has made movement faster, cheaper and more pleasurable but do we keep cribbing about the costs, the lines at the airports, the railways stations and the bus stops? Disposables have become the order of the day saving time and effort yet we see the mountain of trash to which we also contribute conveniently overlooking our own part in it. The present has to be embraced with pragmatism. You may not be able to change what is happening around but one can surely appreciate the good, influence the ills by being sensitive and caring ( use less disposables / be more orderly in queues / cut down on indiscriminate usage of mobiles and internet etc.) but most importantly be involved in the moment. Don’t let the present fly past without it having improved you as an individual.

Be enchanted by the future – The future is a haze and that is precisely why we are wary of it. Strictly speaking if we can appreciate the wonders of our past, see the positive side of the present we must able to look forward to exciting times in the future. However, the future holds an undeniable reality; death. This unfortunately is a scary thought for the overwhelming majority and while we may never consciously reflect on it, subconsciously we are always hoping to prolong life be it our own or those of our loved ones. What adds confusion and apprehension when thinking of the future is the fear that the future may not be as serene as the past and the present. We worry about paying bills, hospitalization, relationships, old age, loss of income, loneliness and ofcourse death. These are all realities but a fair bit of timely planning and mental preparation to cope with these realities would ease our concerns and surely help one prepare to embrace the future. The first step to such preparation is not mentally running away from our fears. How many of those reading this post have prepared a will? How many of us have got our retirement plans chalked out? How many have saved for a rainy day? These can be done only if one is prepared to be realistic and give the future a more concrete shape rather than blindly walking into a hazy sunset. The sunset is surely the beginning of the night but when on an outing don’t we eagerly wait to see the glorious sunset and ensure we are the right place at the right time to enjoy it. See the future as a wonderful sunset and do what needs to be done to enjoy it!

Try this:

  1. Jot down 3 to 5 most wonderful memories from the past. Visualize the situation and the persons involved and revel in the blessings they were for you.
  2. What are the 3 significant contributions that you can make to ensure that the world around you is a better place? So have you started on it ?
  3. Make a list of the following
  • How much money do you think will suffice to ensure you have a comfortable retired life assuming you live till 90
  • What are the 3 things you will do to ensure that you are productively and happily engaged after retirement?
  • What are the 5 most important things you will want to incorporate in your will?
  • Make a list of surprise gifts that you will send this year to at least 3 of the above listed friends.
  • List 10 friends who you can count on to give you support and courage should you be in any trouble in the future.
  • Write down an epitaph for yourself that would best describe you / your life.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-12-it is not the load

When interacting with people, some people give you an immediate connect and you can actually feel their vibrancy, positivity and joy touching you in many ways and elating you. Unfortunately there are also many others who you would keep at arms distance, if not completely avoid given half a chance, simply because they are constantly grumbling, telling their woes, keep blaming others and exude bad vibes, spread demoralizing thoughts and drain us of our enthusiasm. If you were to spent a little time and understand the background, the daily routine and psychology of both sets of people you might make a startling discovery that in almost all cases the people are just like us, share the same sets of troubles, pleasures, hope, fears perhaps in varying degrees but it is their response to the situation that is the key difference that makes them likeable or disagreeable.

Now turn the mirror to yourself and ask honestly how others perceive you. Do I have many friends? Are my neighbors and colleagues happy to see me? Do I feel welcome when joining a group? Closer home, other than your pet dog are the rest of the family members thrilled to have me around? Do people freely interact with me, trust me, share their thoughts, concerns, hopes etc and seek my counsel or views? If you can honestly say yes to all the above, then you are one of the fortunate few who has mastered the art of embracing life with a song on your lips and hope in your heart. On the other hand if you are one who cannot spontaneously say yes to the above questions, there is no need to feel despondent for by and large you share your misery with a large number of people. Though it is said misery loves company, as an individual each of us would love to live life happily minus that miserable company.

The best way to cope with life is as under:

First accept the reality that there is a yin and yang that together forms life. While everyone wishes to embrace the good things life has to offer, when there is difficulty, pain, fear, frustration and the like, the inevitable reaction is to wonder why me. The quicker we learn to appreciate the quirks of life the easier it would be to welcome each new day with a happy heart.

The next is to cope with the yin with equanimity and the yang with alacrity. Having accepted the reality of the yin and yang of life, the challenge is how does one deal with them. In fact, in managing our response to the extremes that life throws up we would realize the inevitable truth that neither happiness nor sorrows last forever (although the latter might seem to be never ending). Therefore when things are going one’s way, when life is kind to us and when we are euphoric we must soak in those moments but never let them overexcite us. At the same time when faced with challenges, problems and troubles we must not be overwhelmed by them but be hopeful that this too shall pass.

Third is to attempt a balance between the two. This is a tricky step for while we cannot actually change the reality we can telescope our joys and miniaturize our troubles by some deft psychological ploys. Learn to savor every triumph, relish every joy and spread joy and sub consciously lengthen the ecstasy, deepen the thrill and enrichen our life. Similarly when fate deals us a poor hand, when the shadows seem to be lengthening and joy looks elusive look out for the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. The change in fortunes seems just a step away, the gloom will seem to be disappearing and the hard knocks of life will be less bruising and painful. The balance you have maintained is in keeping a pragmatic proportion between the long periods of ecstasy and the brief unavoidable reality of despair.

Finally embrace each moment as the best moment for it shall never come again. The first three rules are to be practiced diligently and allowed to gently be ingrained subconsciously. That is the point of inflection when you will actually begin to embrace life warts and all. From then on you will look eagerly for the break of dawn, appreciate the joys of everyday life, value the joys of relationships, find surprises in the chirping of the birds and the blooming of the flowers and there will be a spring in every step you take. Hurdles that would invariably appear most unexpectedly would not frighten you nor would they then seem insurmountable and you would find the will, the means and the way to side step every hurdle. You will then kiss each moment for it will never give you another chance again.

The secret to coping with the surprises, shocks, joys and jolts of life is in accepting reality of constant change, maintaining harmony no matter what the challenge or surprise and making best use of the gift of life by living it and not merely surviving it.

Try this:

For a week try to live life by making the following adjustment each day. This will give you a better appreciation of how those who have to live with the limitation have adjusted to their permanent problem and yet live their life to the full.

Day 1 – Do not use your regularly used hand ( if your right handed do not use the right hand for the whole day)

Day 2 – Tie a splint around any one of your knees so that you cannot bend your knees. Now go about your daily chores with this handicap.

Day 3 – Avoid the use of any means of electrical /electronic devise – no telephone/ mobile/internet/ TV / Dish washers / credit cards/ etc.

Day 5 – Attempt not to talk to anyone / minimize your oral communication but go about your daily tasks.

Day 6 – Spend an entire day at an orphanage/ old age home/ prison /hospital or on any social service that you have never ever been to or attempted before.

Day 7 – Set your own challenging goal and try to live it out.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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13-5-We are human

The reality of life is something that most of us are prone to misconstrue as being unfair to us. The prime reason for this is our focus on what we crave and do not have and our envy of those who have what we crave. At times when things seem to be going our way or are in a happy frame of mind, we do appreciate the blessings we have but these periods of bliss are far few and in between. So how does one etch happiness into our psyche?

Happiness is a state of mind and the key then is to fine tune the mind to allow happiness to seep in and envelope us. This is best done as under:

Appreciate the reality:

We need to appreciate the fact that we are human. This means that we can think, we can emote and we can decide.

We need to realize that we are not perfect and as a result we have to learn to forgive ourselves, tolerate the mistakes of others and make efforts to correct the mistakes rather than give up in hopelessness.

We need to be ecstatic that we are alive for we now have limitless opportunities to leave our mark in this world and energize the environment around us.

 Focus then on thinking positively, being more forgiving and grasping opportunities.

 Realize the truth:

That as human beings we will make mistakes, we stumble, we fall and we may even get hurt. The truth is that these are like vaccination pricks that are temporarily painful but leave a long term positive effect in ensuring our well being. Seen in this light, it dawns on us that every fall makes us more humble, every mistake teaches us a new lesson and that hurt is a mechanism to alert us to impending dangers that can be avoided through caution and alertness.

Every setback, every tumble we take and every obstacle that comes our way is just a blip in the larger scheme of life; recognize this truth and you shall be free of worries.

 Clasp all possibilities  

Understand the innumerable possibilities that come with the knowledge that we can rise again, we can try again, we keep learning and we keep growing. Seen amputees participate in games and athletics or heard Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata a classic that one finds hard to believe has been composed by a deaf composer. If these seem extreme examples, look at the physically, financially or academically challenged in and around you who have succeeded despite all odds.

So do you see the innumerable opportunities around you just waiting for you to clasp them and turn them into successes?

Embrace life

Now be thankful for the priceless opportunity of life for as long as life exists we can find happiness in the little things and big things that surround us.

Don’t forget that LIFE is Love Inside Finding Expression – start with loving yourself.

Try this:

Write down the following immediately

  • The one new learning you would like to acquire E.g. Learning a new sport or language
  • The one physical good that you desperately want to posses, which is a realistic possibility for you sometime in the next 5 years. E.g. A high end music system (name the brand of your choice)
  • The one limitation / trait that you would want to eliminate at the earliest. E.g. Being more decisive or being more organized
  • The one change you would like to bring to your life E.g. Lose weight or spend more time with family etc.

Now work on ways to realize these desires before the end of 2013

  1. Click on this link and watch this inspirational and motivational talk by Nick Vujicic a truly physically challenged but most engaging speaker http://tinyurl.com/6oqnzk
  2. Click on this link and watch the Last Lecture by Prof. Randy Pausch to appreciate the need to embrace life  http://tinyurl.com/2z3wsx

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Accept me as I am

Accept me as I am

Our human frailty makes us vulnerable to making mistakes and being condemned for it. It is also our human frailty that makes us so critical, harsh and cruel enough to perpetually condemn those who could have faltered but have atoned for their folly. Our frailty fortunately is not a unalterable trait for we are also blessed with the boon of change, the facility of realization, the temperament to atone and the capacity to make up and undo the damage. Yet when it comes to being charitable to others we take a moral high ground and end up admonishing and chastening the unfortunate souls who would faltered whilst traversing the pathway of life. Pause for a moment and ask yourself how you would like to be apprised by others; would you like them to pinpoint your past follies or would you desperately want them to focus on the your current achievements?

Class reunions are a wonderful occasion to look around and actually witness the progress and success that almost everyone has achieved. Yet time and time again, we tend to bring up many an unflattering incidence during the years of schooling relating to specific individuals, merely to have a good laugh without realizing that the person in question may have moved on life winning accolades and begetting a hallowed status in society. Again put yourself in the shoes of that individual who may have flunked a test or got caught cheating in an exam but thereafter by dint of hard work become very successful. Would you not like to be acknowledged for the success achieved and deeply resent being flogged for a juvenile mistake. The question is, are we as charitable to others as we would want them to be towards us?

It is possible that even as we read this post we are sure we would always be charitable to others and that the contents of the blog post is not applicable to us. You may be right, but ponder about your readiness to work alongside a rehabilitated convict. Would you readily employ a suspect in a crime even if he/ she has been acquitted of the crime? If these sound like extreme examples, look back and ponder over the times you have accused someone or tale tattled about someone merely based on hear say. There are shades of judging and convicting someone particularly someone who we are ill at ease with or someone whom we are not comfortable with.  How often have we passed judgment about someone merely based on their dress and physical appearance?

The best way to give people a second chance is by seeking the good in them and accentuating that. This is more easily achieved when we begin to appreciate that no one really wants to be a deviant and their follies could often have been committed either due to poor judgment or a moment of weakness or out of sheer desperation. We as individuals have every right and duty to exercise a judgment call when it is appropriate but we also have an obligation to give others reason to believe in themselves and turn over a new leaf.

Try this:

  1. Write down 5 qualities that best describe you. Now go around with a list of 25 positive qualities and ask your family, close friends, colleagues and acquaintances to choose 5 qualities that best describe you from that list . You will have a fair idea of how you perceive yourself and how others see you.
  2. Think of the following
  • The 3 most embarrassing moments of your life
  • The 3 serious acts of dishonesty you have committed
  • The 3 biggest lies you have said
  • The 3 wickedest thoughts that have occurred to you

Now assuming that someone knew about any or all of these how would you feel if reference was made to any of the above acts in public by that person?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to? Tony Robbins

As I write this post I am aware that today is special in more than one way…today will never come again and the 29th of  Feb won’t come again for at least another 4 years. So for me writing this post today is important for I won’t write another one on a 29th of Feb till possibly 2016. This simple realization propelled me to quickly shake of my lethargy, shun the numerous excuses that swirled around in my mind and plonk in front of the computer to begin writing my blog. Choosing the quote to write on was relatively easy since the awareness that today is so special was uppermost in the mind.

It is interesting to note that one has to have a commitment to tomorrow in order to ensure that today is spent fruitfully and meaningfully. For many of us visualizing that commitment is a near impossible task partly because we are blissfully ignorant of the opportunities that abound but largely because it involves a painful realization of reality. Here are 3 springboards to jump off from in order to draw up your commitment to tomorrow. You will have to go in the same order in order to be successful in identifying your commitments.

Dream big.  All of us have grandiose ideas, dreams, hopes, aspirations and secret desires. List them all out. Don’t let anything stop you from being imaginative,  lavish, ostentatious or extravagant in your imagination taking wings. Own the most luxurious yachts or the dream villa or the idyllic island in the pacific. Soar high in your mind, feel the exhilaration of your day dreams and luxuriate in the vividness of your imagination.

Be pragmatic. Having tasted the finest albeit imaginatively, at least you have set your standards pretty high. There is no plausible reason for you not to enjoy all your dreams but one cannot sidestep reality. So get down to rolling up your sleeves and chalking out the route map to reach each of your wildly imaginative destinations. Harsh reality may trip you into believing that you are on a hopelessly lost mission in life but by chalking out every step will reinforce your belief that while the passage is rocky there is still a pathway that leads somewhere.

Write down your goals. Once the pathway is inked out, put markers in the form of goals along the way that you have just discovered. This will ensure that you go surely and certainly in the direction of your dreams. You will be setting your own pace and progress is certain. If you pause to rest, to relax and chill you will still enjoy the journey but you may not necessarily reach the destination. The journey though would never be in vain.

Now that the commitment to tomorrow is made here are 3 steps to making the most of today.

Begin Now. If I didn’t believe in this you wouldn’t be reading this. You don’t need further proof. Do you?

Continue with faith. Each day brings new challenges, new obstacles and more tricky excuses to weigh you down. While it may not be possible to immediately overcome these impediments,  the commitment to tomorrow should motivate, inspire, empower and spur you on for as they say ‘faith can move mountains’. Bet you won’t have to wait too long for the next post.

Enjoy the progress. It is the joy in what one does that ensures a job well done. No matter what the task or whatever the circumstances, when one has a song on the lips and a prayer in the heart the progress will be enjoyable, fun and more importantly today would always be the best day before tomorrow.

Remember: The future starts today, not tomorrow.  Pope John Paul II

Try this:

  • For the next one week consciously avoid using the hand that you regularly use to write with. This means if you are a right handed person you will for the next week use only the left hand for all activities that you have to do. Now with this self imposed limitation also attempt the following
  1. Play a couple of games of caroms / table tennis / badminton with another friend
  2. Write one foolscap page everyday
  3. How tough was the initial attempt? Did you notice any progress? Was the progress made worth it? Did you learn anything new in the process?
  • Following the 3 spring boards and the 3 paths enumerated above write down your commitment to tomorrow and chalk out your path for today assuming
  1. You are the prime minister of the country
  2. You are the head of your current organization
  3. You are completely involved in your pet social service project

 This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Thomas Jefferson

Many of us spend a lot of time pondering over the future and going around in circles confused and fearful about our fate. We shy away from finding out answers to some fundamental questions like

  • Who am I and how do I hope to shape my future?
  • What do I want to do with my life?
  • What are those values and qualities I cherish?
  • What are the fears that torment me?
  • Who are the people I can depend upon?
  • What are my yardsticks for success?
  • How do I go about achieving success?

Obviously there are no easy answers that will emerge in a jiffy but if we dismiss these questions as impossible to answer, the questions would keep lurking n our mind and torment us thereby impeding our productivity, happiness and peace of mind.

The answers to all the questions seem hidden, obscure and / or elusive but in reality they are merely packaged within the individual personality that you are. If you want to discover it, you would need to see yourself as a package doing the rounds in a game of ‘passing the parcel’ where a dimension of you is subtly revealed when you are vulnerable, exploited, hurt, abused or manhandled like the parcel, by those you interact and deal with. When every layer of the parcel is peeled out and you delve deeper and deeper, suddenly the parcel opens up to throw up a surprise gift ‘YOU”

The practical way out to discover yourself now is to unravel the real you and that can be done when you Act with Purpose, Ponder with Insight and Accept the reality with Grace.

Act with purpose : While our formative years were by and large guided and molded by parents, elders and teachers, our dependence on them will reduce as the years go by and we grow up to be mature individuals. Hopefully we would have accepted sane advice and guidance and focused on our values, education, manners, career choice etc. when we begin to furrow our own path our upbringing should discipline us make choices with positive purpose. The learning both formal and informal, our intelligence, our experience, the feedback we receive, the risks we take, the options we avoid are all partly subconscious but largely a purposeful goal driven activity. In effect we never idle away our time or waste our resources but act with purpose to achieve our goals.

Ponder with Insight: Of and on we do tend to look back and wonder about the twists and turns in our life and occasionally we would lament and rue some mistakes and lost opportunities and also be pleased about those right moves we made. Often we will keep analyzing the present, keep attempting to improve up on the existing and make efforts to learn, improve, adjust and adapt to the changes that we experience, perceive or imagine.  We would simultaneous also look ahead and with the wisdom of past experience, the knowledge of the current trends and the applying our commonsense and foresight, ponder with insight and plan for the present and future. Without realizing we would have discovered some key competencies, some harsh realities and the real facts about ourselves.

Accept the reality with Grace: Where we fail is in accepting the reality of our personality. We would need to enthusiastically accept our strengths, our abilities, our talents and our potential and leverage them to raise the bar of personal excellence. Tougher still is the challenge of accepting the reality of our limitations, our weakness, our insipid temperament and our irrational fears which curb our risk taking,  restrict our horizons and expose our inadequacies.  Once we learn to accept the reality of our personality with grace we would have discovered the secret of how to find happiness within ourselves.

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.  William James

Try this:

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1 being very poor and 10 being excellent) your abilities on. Now ask your spouse or sibling or close associate to do a similar rating for you. Compare the results.

  • Managing your time
  • Taking decisions
  • Interacting with people
  • Handling crisis
  • Being creative

Download the attached file Human Emotions  and from the list of emotions list out 5 Positive Emotions and 5 Negative Emotions that are typical of you. Now for emotion that you have listed give a suitable example from your life to make sure the emotion has been experienced by you. Next take a print of the file and show it to the following people and ask them to outline those emotions which in their view are applicable to you. You may make some revealing realities about yourself from the replies of others.

  • A family member (preferably a sibling)
  • A close friend
  • A colleague
  • An old school chum
  • A new acquaintance (they have to judge your emotions based on your interactions)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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This time like all times is a very good one if we but know what to do with it  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last night, I was deeply disappointed that I ran headlong into a writer’s worst nightmare ‘the writer’s block’ and after pottering around for more than an hour attempting to get going with the blog I simply quit. Funnily enough I enjoyed a good sleep but on waking up was racked with pangs of guilt on not writing the blog, suffering the ignominy of being idealess and I suspect more depressed at the blow to my ego. However as the day wore on it occurred to me that the experience of the previous night was not entirely wasted; after all I was subject to the painful realization of my own limitations; having made the decision to give up and go to sleep my dilemma was resolved and I enjoyed blissful sleep; and on waking up I was glad to rediscover my competitive drive. That time (yesterday when I stared for an hour at a blank screen attempting to write)  just like the present moment that I am writing and this moment that you are reading this post are all equally invaluable provided each of us is doing exactly what was/ is required.

Our successes or failures in life are nothing but net effect of the time we spend fruitfully minus the time we waste in doing things that either we ought not to do or should do at another time. Look back at our own student days and reflect on how much effort we put into studies and how much time we spend in day dreaming, hanging out with friends, sleeping, watching movies TV partying etc. It is not as if to suggest that the latter activities are to be avoided but definitely they must be restricted for each of us is fortunately or unfortunately privy only to 24 hours of the day. A good test to understand how much time we utilize productively is to ask if we have any regrets. The more the regrets the greater the waste of our limited time. Ask if you have taken time out to smell the flowers as you traverse the paths of life. If you haven’t then soon you would realize the frustrtionof having the time but squandering it.

Another test to find out if we have made good use of our time is to answer the question’ what will I do with the last 10 minutes of my life?

Ask if you would end telling yourself the following

I will go around telling those whom I love that I love them passionately

I will go around pardoning all those who hurt me

I will go around seeking pardon from those I hurt,

I will loosen my purse strings and liberally give out to charity etc.

Some questions that will haunt you then are

Can  I do all this in 10 minutes?

Should I have not done this all the time?

Why did I waste my time on frivolous things when I should have spend more time with loved ones?

Was my life worth whatever I achieved?

Will someone really grieve for me?

Remember:

Happy the man, and happy he alone,

He, who can call to-day his own:

He who, secure within, can say:

“To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have liv’d to-day.”

Try this:

  1. Ask yourself right now if this is the right time to read the blog. If your answer is yes then go on and read a few more blog posts including the weekly post at www.poweract.blogspot.com If your answer is NO, then stop reading and slot a time to read and henceforth make it a point to read these posts only at that time.
  2. Any time is perfect to do the following. Ensue that you practice as many of these as often as you can.
  • Smile
  • Thank
  • Apologize
  • Praise
  • Reflect
  • Appreciate
  • Pardon
  • Pray

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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