Tag: Tolerance

The real YOU

14- 10 Jun 15-The real YOUThere is a different prism through which we can see ourselves more clearly; uncomplicated, realistic and honestly. That prism is through the eyes of others who are around you, with who you interact, your colleagues, friends, family and even worthy opponents. They value you not in terms of your wealth, your education or your achievements but seek out the person you really are by stripping of the external trappings and going into your individuality.

This is how your individuality is seen by others and your worth assessed by others.

Kindness = Greatness – Can you stop and help a blind man cross a road? Would you be able to spend time with the aged and infirm who are in institutions. Would you be able to respond charitably to those who may have wronged you? Can you forgive or be magnanimous to acknowledge your fault? There are numerous opportunities to give of yourself and be kind to those who seek your indulgence. Do you seize the opportunities to let them pass by either because you are not inclined to or because you believe someone else will take care of the same? Citations and awards maybe cherished by you and seen as the pinnacle of achievement but it is in giving of yourself that your greatness is brought to the fore.

Modesty =Education and intellect – The college degrees, the merit certificates, the academic performances are just a formal way to acknowledge an individual’s academic performance. To some extent they are also a barometer of a person’s intellect. However, the true worth of one’s education and intellect is reflected in the person’s ability to be humble, modest and graceful to the less equals. Making tall claims, boasting, names dropping, self centered conversations, refusal to respect and appreciate others, running down people etc. are some definite pointers to academics not translating into sound education and appreciable intellect.

Suspicion and prejudices = Ignorance – Insecurity, mistrust, ignorance are negative traits that trigger the mind to be suspicious and prejudiced. The tendency to read too much between the lines, casting aspersions on others, being biased, playing favorites, planting the seeds of doubts etc. are sure signs of a deeper malady of suspicion and prejudice. In reality it reflects one’s ignorance about one’s own competence and also betrays one’s ignorance about the complications and damage that one is inflicting by such behavior.

Consideration and tolerance = Caliber – While personal achievement demonstrate one’s ability, the caliber of an individual goes much beyond personal ability. When an individual can not only perform well but can influence others to give off their best, that is when the real caliber of the individual is on display. Great coaches are a prime example of people with exceptional caliber for they are able to get the best out of their wards. Similarly, team leaders whose teams achieve excellence and retain both the competitive and the team spirit are people with excellent caliber because often they would have to groom people far better than themselves with a healthy dose of encouragement, motivation, firmness and flexibility. Caliber is excellence put to the test and coming up triumphant.

Try these:

  • List out the names of 3 individuals who you have personally interacted with and who you believe are modest people. Pinpoint at least one incident / happening for each individual that made you come to this conclusion about them.
  • Outline 2 of your pet suspicions about others and 2 of your frequent prejudices. Do you have any tangible evidence or proof to harbor such thoughts?
  • Next time you are in a one to one conversation with another individual consciously make it a point to count the number of times you use the word ‘I’ or ‘my’ in your conversation.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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When patience pays.

Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.
Saadi

Ask yourself if there are habits, mannerisms, techniques or behavioral traits that you are keen on changing for the better but cannot overcome yet. Perhaps you have attempted to change but gave it up or you have not even started the process of change because you imagine it being a tough task. The fact is that unlearning is as tough as learning a new task and picking up something new is also a challenge for we have to first go about it slowly, steadily and steadfastly. Bad habits are a prime example of how difficult it is to get over it, be it biting nails, being disorganized, not being punctual etc. Similarly acquiring a new skill be it driving, swimming or playing a new sport is challenging and often exasperating for our initial attempts are woefully inadequate and embarrassing to say the least. Yet, with a firm resolve and adequate motivation and loads of patience we can look back and admire the way we have conquered many a challenge.

A bigger challenge is putting up with situations and/ or people that you are not comfortable with. We may unwittingly find ourselves in situations not of our own making but something that we desperately wished we could ignore/ avoid or get over with. Since we cannot wish the reality away, the one virtue that we can fall back on to face the reality with calmness and hope is patience. The never ending wait at checkout counters or at the doctors clinic, the unavoidable visit to the dentist, the dreaded feedback from teachers, the annual appraisal exercise etc are but shades of the varied situations where patience is the only virtue that will help us face it square on. On the other end of the spectrum are people who really test our patience. Diffident children, nagging spouse, tyrannical bosses, irresponsible subordinates, irritating colleagues are just a few of those people who end up testing our patience.

Patience is a function of self control, hope, adaptability and tolerance. Unless we can restrain our natural urge to rebel against happenings that we dislike we would never get anywhere close to practicing patience. With self control we allow time to be the catalyst of change that we hope will be more to our level of acceptance and liking. It naturally follows that when we give sufficient time we have a hope that matters will proceed in a manner that we pine for. At times we add up the small changes that we see and make adjustments ourselves and try to adapt to the glimmer of hope that is provided by our self control. Tolerance is the glue that uniformly binds ones self control, hope and adaptability to manifest itself as a virtue we call patience.

Patience nearly always rewards us amply. Nature provides us wonderful examples of it. See the patience with which a spider spins its web and patiently waits for a prey to be snared in it. Look the wild animals in the jungle who stalk they prey patiently. Ever notice the patience of an angler baiting a fish? Has it ever occurred to you that the jugglers who display their skill with such dexterity spend hours patiently practicing their craft till they master it  and even then constantly keep honing their skill with practice? Perhaps you can recollect how you learnt cycling and later perhaps swimming or driving a four wheeler.

Remember: Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.  Saint Francis de Sales

Try this:

  1. Take 3 balls and try to juggle it. If you can master that attempt the same with 4 balls. Alternatively try to master some card tricks that require a sleigh of hand.
  2. On your computer check out the games section and play the card game FREECELL. Technically every game can be solved. Go on test your own patience trying to solve each game.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Bless us with patience…

God grant us patience!  William Shakespeare

Just visualize the scene where as a family we are sitting in a restaurant and debating what to order. We take our time about ordering the food, since most of us take an eternity to make up our minds. Finally when we give the order to the captain, we have this compulsive urge to instruct him to ensure that the food is served fast. While we dilly dally about our choice of food, we have no patience to wait for the food to be served. In a day and age where instant coffee and instant noodles are standard fare, where pizza delivery is timed in a clock work fashion and where ‘please hurry up’ is a standard appendage to any request, the virtue of patience is at a very high premium.

Contrast this with natures wonder called life cycle. It still takes 9 months from conception to delivery for a human being. If you plant a seed today, it might take years for someone to be able to enjoy the fruits of the tree. Look at the wild animals patiently stalking their prey or imagine the patience of the migratory birds for they have to fly very very long distances which take days on end. This phenomenon opens our eyes to a very critical weakness in most of us living in the fast paced world- lack of patience. You may disagree and say you are very patient and perhaps you are right too. If you are still reading this post, give yourself a clap for your patience; for the net speed may have been too slow and yet you persisted or the contents up to this point may have tested your patience but you optimistically go on.

On the other hand, examine your own investment strategy. Do you believe in quick money and indulge in daily trading in the stock markets or regularly buying the lottery or gambling? On the other hand are you a long term investor and / or do you prefer slow and steady returns as in bonds and debt markets? Examine your own tastes in music and sports. Do you prefer the classics to rap and metal music? Do you like to watch golf or F1 racing or prefer tennis to a football match? No doubt the choice is based on your personal interests and factors other than just your patience level, but it may give you a clue to your personal operating style which could have patience as dominating variable.

When we get impatient we also get irrational. We are then overpowered by irritation, annoyance and get easily provoked. That is when we attempt to speed up decisions leading to poor decision making, try to short circuit the system and end up messing things up and often lose our bearings and consequentially end up looking foolish and stupid. Worse still, impatience makes us lose time for in our hurry we botch up things and setting that right almost invariably takes double the original time frame. Patience is a virtue that will bring us peace of mind for then you will never be riled or ruffled.

Remember: “Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience.”

Try these:

  1. Observe your own reaction when caught in the tail end of a line that does not seem to be moving or caught in slow moving traffic. How do you analyze the situation? Do you curse the people in front of you or do you simply work up a rage and abuse one and all or do you calmly use it as an opportunity to think and introspect or if in a car increase the volume of the music and make the best of a bad situation?
  2. Name 3 activities that you think really test your patience frequently.  What are the alternatives that will enable you to cope with that activity with least irritation and most profit?
  3. Ask yourself the following questions .Do you enjoy teaching children?  Do you think you can spend a couple of hours at the home for the aged or with mentally challenged people?  Can you work with slow learners or Alzheimer’s patients? If you answered yes to all of the above….GOD has BLESSED  you with the virtue of PATIENCE…please return the favor and go and volunteer in one of the above activities.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Do unto others …

What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others. Confucius

This is a clarion call to practice temperance in both action and deeds. It is easy for us to be critical of others and to chasten people who do not meet our expectations of them. The classic example is that of most parents, who goad their children to study, frown at them when they are too playful and have an unrealistic expectations that the children must excel in academics consistently. If they only pause to reflect on their own childhood, schooling and performance perhaps they would realize that they are inflicting the very pain that they were subject to and possibly resented and detested.

Things don’t change too much in the general personal life, family life, professional life and social life. We sulk and resent others, who point out our faults and yet we won’t bat an eyelid when we are even more harsh with our spouse, children or family members when they make minor misdemeanors that we resent. As passive sports enthusiasts watching the players on TV how often do we criticize and curse players when they flounder at critical stages and how readily we find excuses for our mistakes and poor performance. Would we tolerate the same criticism if it was directed to us?

 In our anxiety to get favorable output or results, we often become intolerant and too demanding. This results in us setting very stiff targets for performance leading to unrealistic expectations and failure is never treated kindly. Just pause and reverse the roles and ask a question if we can meet our own targets? If the answer is a loud no, then are we fair in being harsh, rude and possibly nasty to others; for we wouldn’t want to suffer the same fate under similar circumstances. So the yardstick we use for others must be the same one that you will judge yourself with. The rewards and punishments must also be in similar proportion to what you deserve.

Remember: The Lords prayer has a line that is the forerunner to the above quote ‘forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us’.

Try these:

  1. The next time you go through the report card of your child, ask yourself what was your performance whilst in the same class. It is grossly unfair to expect your kids to extraordinarily well as compared to your own achievements. Also be careful not to compare performance of your child with that of another classmate. Comparison if any must be with the average class performance and the ability of your child.
  2. Any criticism, punishment, ticking off must be in proportion to the deed or offence. Ask yourself if you are letting your emotions get the better of you when you award a punishment or you criticize or tick of someone. Pay close attention to your choice of words, tone and timing too. Also ensure that any negative feedback is never given in public but done privately.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com