No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved. Mignon McLaughlin
Love is the one emotion that is available in abundance but never enough for any single individual. It sounds paradoxical but the reality is that we always crave for more and unfortunately our greed for love has no end. Part of the answer perhaps lies in our selfishness; we want to experience the power of love without reciprocating in same measure. Take the case of our expectations from our parents, they sacrifice a lot for us and yet when they seek a reciprocal affection and sacrifice in their old age, we have a hundred excuses and rationale for not being able to meet their expectations. If we look back at your own childhood, there would be many instances which you recollect where you felt you didn’t get the care, support and expression of love that you banked upon. It could be as simple as an incident where you were quarreling with a classmate and your parents sided with your classmate and boxed your ears or it could be when you wanted to marry against their wishes and they emotionally blackmailed you into toeing their line.
Quite often, the generation gap is the one factor that leads to such a situation where the love expressed is misconstrued as interference and the expectation of love is completely different in the context of the person receiving it. E.g. We gift our children a mobile phone and they retort that they should have been consulted about the brand, type and style and they then express their displeasure at the gift. Sometimes we smother another with our love and that is resented by the other and we feel deeply hurt. Viewed from the perspective of the person receiving your affection, your expressiveness and constant concern because of your deep love is possibly too blatant and crass. E.g. concerned parents of teenagers will constantly monitor them by frequently calling them on their cell phones especially when they have late nights and the teens would resent such calls. The parents would be hurt that their concern is not appreciated.
All of us want unconditional love; alas that is the one thing that is so much in short supply. Almost all the love we experience is conditional. How often do we love a person because he/ she is a human being and not because he/ she is a friend, a sibling, a parent etc. and it is only right we love them? When we can give unconditional love there are no expectations what so ever and so we give it amply, simply and heartily. Yet there could be times when all we get in return is displeasure, ungratefulness, rebuke, scorn and sometimes hate. If you can still continue to give your love with a smile you would then have loved the way you would have loved to be loved!
Remember: To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault
Name 3 teachers you loved in school. Name 3 classmates from your school days that you remember with great fondness but you are not in touch with of late. Enumerate the reasons for liking the teachers and the students. Is it their ability to accept you as you are that is the one BIG reason for you loving them?
Go visit a nearby orphanage and spend half a day at least with the inmates. What are the emotions you come back with? Will you attempt an other visit there? Did you feel guilty that you had so much love from your family and they have none to call their own? What is that makes those who work in orphanages be so committed?
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