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Posts Tagged ‘Weakness’

31- 31 Aug 17-A makeover for Myself

It is an excellent practice for every individual to take time out to re-energize, recharge and reinvent herself/himself. The problem is that one has to often do it all alone because no one knows the self better than the individual concerned. The simple mantra to achieve it is to believe and practice the phrase ‘ I am working on myself for myself by myself.’ The mantra sounds simple enough but the practice of the same is tricky because it involves the following steps:

Analyzing the self – This has to be done objectively. Spend time reflecting about your strengths and of course your weaknesses.  Apart from thinking, reflecting and analyzing on your own, take time to also seek clues in appreciation, criticism, feedback you get from time to time from family, friends, colleagues and experts. Their feedback would have some correlation to the reality and hence could provide you a better insight into your own self. Focus also on your interests, your latent passion and skills and your dreams for the future.

Identifying the areas of improvement – It is possible that there could be a wide variety of feedback that indicates areas for improvement. Some of these could be frivolous, a few very pertinent but the key is in identifying those areas of weakness that you need to strengthen because they are critical to your success. It could key competencies related to your profession or behavioral aspects or new skills to be learnt or bad habits to be eliminated. E.g. you maybe a poor listener or you could be an introvert both cardinal sins if you are a sales professional.

Finding a method to strengthen the weak areas of the self – It could be by sheer will power or by constant practice or it may require an external intervention. An external intervention could be in the nature of attending a specialized course or attending a relevant workshop or by sourcing the relevant material to read up on etc. At times despite your best efforts, you do not seem to be progressing and that is when one gets demoralized. At these times, you require a good mentor; perhaps a good friend or a strong tutor or the support of an understanding boss. Take strength also from the encouragement of others, the positive feedback you get and from seeking the progress you make even if it is a wee bit slow and sporadic.

Leveraging personal strengths – While focusing on overcoming personal weakness it must also be borne in mind that we can leverage our strengths to progress rapidly and become effective in our personal, professional and social life. If we do not utilize our talents, abilities and strengths we would be losing out on opportunities to grow and excel. Sometimes our abilities need to be sharpened and strengthened with external inputs and one must invest in the same. Paying attention to feedback also helps in identifying our strengths about which we may not be confident or lack awareness of. It may also give us clues on the areas requiring our attention to ensure we give out our peak performance.

Setting new standards of personal excellence – Growth in any form indicates that we are striving to move beyond our current standards, challenge ourselves to exceed our own boundaries and take risks to explore beyond our immediate horizons. All progress has been the outcome of people who focused on excellence. They looked out for solutions to problems and improvised on the same. At times people have gone back to the drawing board and turned the solutions on its head to come out with something more revolutionary and effective. Medical science provides ample evidence of this. With the help of technology, almost every aspect of our life is being revolutionized.  As individuals we too must strive to ride the technological wave, adopt/ adapt it and innovatively leverage it to set for ourselves new performance standards and raise the bar for our personal excellence.

Repeating the process – Constant review, making notes of learning outcomes and repeating the process of personal improvement would help make us change for the better and enhance our or effectiveness and output. Sitting on our laurels would only set us back because others would overtake us. We need to constantly reinvent ourselves to remain motivated, goal oriented and success focused.

Try these

Identify the following:

  1. Two inventions that you have the highest regard for.
  2. Two individuals who have had a significant impact on your life and the reasons for their extraordinary influence on you.
  3. Two gadgets without which you would be hopelessly ineffective. ( Do NOT include computers, internet, telephones or  mobile phones in it.)
  4. Two inventions that in your opinion are useless
  5. Two fictional characters who have had a great impact in your life.

List out

  • One weakness in you and the steps you will take to overcome it.
  • Outline you greatest strength and how are you using it in your day to day life
  • One quality you wished you possessed
  • One hobby you would be keen to develop
  • One practice / habit  that you would want to adopt shortly.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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6-28 May 14-See me evolveEach of us can see the physical changes that each of us goes through but the subtle changes and evolution that we go through mentally, psychologically, behaviorally elude us. While we gather our academic credentials that is no conclusive evidence of our intellect, just as our acceptability by those around us is not proof of our attitude and temperament. What is indisputable is the fact that if we introspect, we will be able to recognize the changes in us. The changes could be the result of new learning, experience, conscious decisions or thrust upon us by unavoidable circumstances. Interestingly the changes we notice now are still within our grasp and we can with determination and effort change them to a desirable state. E.g. if you are overweight a good diet and exercise regime can often yield positive result or if you are frequently criticized for being late, with a stronger will and determination you can become punctual.

With one fact established that one can change, evolve and transform to being an even better person than what we are, the challenge before us is to find the right way to go about it. Here are a few techniques to attain this goal.

Appreciate the person that you have evolved into. Look back at your childhood, school days and the carefree youth you were/ are. Reflect on the various dreams, career options, plans that you contemplated. Examine them from the standpoint of where you are today and what you have achieved and don’t hesitate to also brood on the chances you missed, the failures you encountered, the discouragements you faced. Be aware of the achievements you have attained, the odds you have conquered and the encouragement and support you received from various quarters. Notice that you are thinking only about yourself, never comparing yourself with anyone else; for sure you are proud of whatever you are at this moment.

Be aware of your strengths and weakness. No one is perfect and you are no exception. Be conscious of the numerous strengths you posses no matter how insignificant it may seem. Your ability to march to a different drummer or act very differently from others may have evoked sharp criticism from others but that is your strength; value it.

Telescope your imagination to visualize the ideal you. If you noticed in the first two steps your focus was on identifying, appreciating and acknowledging your own growth, success and potential that you have leveraged. If a large part of that has happened without a conscious decision from your side, with adequate effort but not necessarily all your effort, imagine how much more you can achieve if you are focused, planned and eager to achieve your dreams. So now it is time for you to give free reign to your imagination, plan to work on your passions, be daring to walk on unexplored paths, believe in yourself. Remember you are limited only by your imagination; if you can dream it you can achieve it.

Outline your goals and ambitions. If you have consciously and deliberately identified various opportunities that you hope to exploit, it won’t happen unless you specify them as goals to achieve and ambitions to fulfill. This is a crucial step for it requires not just imagination but also logical thinking, pragmatic decision making and courage of conviction. It is chalking out the route map to attaining your goals that will pose problems, create doubts, shake your confidence and challenge your daring. However if you can visualize success and are prepared to strive hard and beat the odds, the only thing stopping you will be YOU.

Resolve to change, begin the change and evolve into the change you seek. Now that you are ready to explore your potential, harness your abilities and go for broke, make a firm resolution not to give up unless you have given yourself a fair chance and ample time. Once your psyche has been tuned to perfection, begin as planned and continue with faith. Results will take time, but pay attention to the small changes that will motivate you, listen to the voice of reason that may whisper to you at times so that you can make adjustments but beware of the loud roar of disillusionment and disenchantment that can derail your plans. Discernment is essential for you to ensure you act with reason. Watch yourself evolve into the person you are capable of being!

Try this

List one goal each for the following aspects of your life

  • Physical fitness
  • Financial stability
  • Social awareness
  • Family bonding
  • Personal growth

Pick out one activity that you would like to be proficient in that your spouse or family member dislikes but is forced to do. Eg. Washing dishes / cooking / record keeping etc. Now outline a plan to ensure you can play an effective supporting role in discharging the same duties so as to help / assit the other person.

Outline 3 activities that will help you bond better with your family especially teenagers in the house. If you are a teen, list out 3 activities that will enliven your presence in the house and pleasantly surprise those at home. Eg. If you are sloppy in arranging your room perhaps you can resolve to be more tidy and organized

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, but quickly to see how to make them good. Bertolt Brecht

Observe a tiny tot making his/her first move to becoming a toddler. It would first attempt to stand and promptly fall for it lacks the balance and the strength in the legs. Yet the natural urge to get up and be independent will stimulate the tiny one to keep pegging away despite many a futile attempt. At this point the concept of failure and mistakes is alien to the little one and that helps the little ones have no inhibitions or apprehensions.

As one grows up we acquire many a skill and knowledge and with it the concept of success and failure, right and wrong, possibilities and impossibilities, truth and fiction etc. In this process making mistakes is often severely punished and kudos liberally given to those who do not make mistakes and they are considered intelligent. As a result the average person tries hard not to fail and make mistakes and therefore avoid anything that hints at failure. Yet ironically no invention or discovery or noteworthy contribution of the human race has ever been error free or perfect in the first attempt. This brings us to a notable reality that success is in harnessing ones intelligence to pursue ones dreams against all odds and achieve it.

Mistakes could be due to a number of reasons from overlooking the obvious to complete misjudgment is one such spectrum. It could also be due to carelessness, misunderstanding, inefficiency and /or wrong assumptions.  The net result though is that the end result we seek is not achieved thereby implying failure which in turn leads us to question our own competence and intelligence. Yet for those who believe in themselves, the mistakes are merely a pointer to the elimination of a failed possibility thus offering us the opportunity to pursue another line of thinking by harnessing our intelligence.

Creativity and logic form the axis around which intelligence revolves. Memory, quick thinking, number crunching and reasoning polish up the shine of intelligence. However, intelligence unless harnessed and utilized remains just an adjective but mistakes provide the perfect opportunity to translate it into an active verb. Real intelligence is in also recognizing that even the most perfect person is bound to make a mistake and that despite that one can attain unparalleled success if one were to relook the mistake and make the corrections. It is said that Jesus Christ got 1 out of 12 decisions wrong when he chose Judas to be one of his 12 disciples because ultimately he betrayed Christ.

Remember: “Knowing a great deal is not the same as being smart; intelligence is not information alone but also judgment, the manner in which information is collected and used”  Dr. Carl Sagan

Try this:

  1. Jot down the 3 biggest mistakes of your life. Were you solely responsible for each of those mistakes? If yes does the consequence of the mistake still rankle you? What was the learning from each of these mistakes?
  2. Assuming that you made all the three mistakes mentioned below which of these would you want to correct first if you had an opportunity to do so?  Why have you chosen that option?
  • You could not give your exams due to poor attendance and therefore lost an academic year.
  • Your drove your car in pouring rain with the driver’s side wiper not working and as a result banged into a care ahead of you which braked suddenly. The other car was damaged badly and the driver of that car had to be hospitalized.
  • You broke up with your partner over a minor misunderstanding and are not on talking terms simply because you want your partner to apologize first.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.  Jean Vanier

As long as we are blind to the reality of where we can improve, our growth will remain stunted. It is only when we know where we are weak that we can begin to make a focused effort to overcome that weakness. It is tough to easily identify our real weakness because often we focus only on the symptoms rather than attempting to diagnose the real problem. It is even more difficult to accept criticism and so we often ignore negative comments, take a casual approach to feedback we get and prefer to rationalize all criticism with frivolous arguments. The net result is that we continue to struggle with our weakness.

A sportsman for example would find it extremely tough to realize why despite his hard work and practice sessions he is unable to reach the first place in various tournaments. A good coach will constantly monitor his performance and correctly identify if the problem is psychological, or if it is in the technique or it is result of poor strategy. Once the player accepts the coaches diagnoses and is prepared to make the changes recommended it is possible that he would be able to see better results. One reason we do not easily accept our weakness is because our ego comes in the way. The ego is vital to make us more competitive, aggressive and helps us focus on victory. The trouble starts when the ego assumes itself to be more powerful than the sum total of a persons abilities. Such ego refuses to accept that there are any flaws in us and we tend to ignore, underplay and / or brazenly refute any criticism that confronts us.

The second reason we are unable to confront our weakness is our inability to visualize. There are many intangibles in our life that prove to be the millstone that drags us down. Poor attitude, fear of failure, inability to think tactically, being lazy etc. are realities that are difficult to pointedly demonstrate. Any such comment is hard for many people to accept simply because they cannot visualize how it applies to them. Finally our reluctance to change will always be a stumbling block to accepting a weakness. If we accept a weakness, we will have to work hard to change it but many of us are so set in our ways that we dread the thought of making a change. Under such circumstances we prefer to stoutly deny any suggestion of weakness that would perpetrate the need to change and make adjustments. If we are told we are overweight we will make statements that it is temporary because we partied during a wedding in the family or that it is just the clothes that make us look fat or that we can still walk 5 kms without getting tired and so we are perfectly fit.

If we finally let better sense prevail and acknowledge our weakness we can at least make a beginning by trying to improve. However the process of improvement is challenging and painful. Challenging because we might have to unlearn and or double our efforts; painful because the results of our efforts would be time consuming, unpredictable and may not produce the results expected.  However the growth that remains unseen and unappreciated is in the fact that by accepting our weakness we have reduced our ego, improved our visualization and we are prepared to change our thoughts , actions and beliefs.

Remember: “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” John Maxwell

Try this:

  1. Take a pen and paper and attempt to write with the hand that you normally don’t use to write with. Keep up the effort for at least 3 spells of 10 mins. each for one week. Notice the progress from day 1 to day 7. How did it feel? Do you think you would have progressed faster if you had some motivation?
  2. List out 3 bad habits that you are constantly being reminded of. Chalk out a plan to reduce the bad habits that you have?  Have a time frame and clear milestones to ensure that you progress. Eg. If you bite your nails then you can buy a pair of gloves and wear it as often as possible or tell your partner to tell you when you indulge in the habit and collect a rupee from you each time.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Your past is always going to be the way it was.  Stop trying to change it. Anon

When we look back wistfully on the good old days gone by, it is but natural that our minds also stray into some of the more forgettable, painful and embarrassing moments of our past, that we wish never occurred. Many a time when we are despondent, sad and lonely we are prone to revisit our past and painfully recount those fateful moments, which if we could, we would completely erase from our past. Unfortunately reality cannot be changed and we are destined to be prisoners of our past memories. This does not mean that we cannot escape from this self made prison, nor does it mean that we have to carry our cross of the past for ever. What we cannot do is eliminate the past.

Since we cannot eliminate the past, the next best thing is to understand the lessons the past has taught us. We can try to understand the circumstances that led us to do the negative things we did, be it copying in exams, lying, bullying others etc. and then try to realize that we have progressed a long way from those miserable days.  It will also help us to make peace with the troublesome past so that they are no longer milestones dragging us from realizing our full potential. If in the past our poverty forced us to steal and we get caught and branded a thief, the stigma is very difficult to live with. However, later on in life, if by sheer dint of hard work and persistence, one has made a mark in society, it will do us well to put our stigma behind us and instead strive to ensure that others who are poor do not end up stealing.

It is worth remembering that one cannot expect others to forget your past. People tend to remember the unpleasant facts of other people and conveniently and selectively elaborate on it either to embarrass the other person but more often to gain a bit of popularity by spreading juicy stories of others. We must also realize that we to tend to display similar behavior for similar reasons and so we must make a conscious effort never to embarrass or bad mouth others. The next time you are with your school/college mates, observe how the conversation flows. If at some point we remember only the nasty things of others, if we keep belittling our classmates and just recount their juicy tales, remember it is not just bad manners but downright despicable. Be aware about your own self and your tendency to be critical, sarcastic and nasty about others. Sometime you might be at the receiving end and then you have no right to complaint.

Remember: We cannot change the past, but we can ruin a perfect present by reliving the past.

Try these:

  1. What are the 5 most embarrassing things that you wish you never did? Do you still carry the burden of embarrassment any or all of those events caused you then, even now? Can you forgive yourself for those happenings now ?
  2. Do you have the tendency to pick on some people and run them down? Now that you are aware, will you be able to make a strong attempt to avoi such a tendency. Do you know of people who take perverse pleasure in running down some others? Will you dare to stand up for the person being made fun off and tell the others to be more temperate and considerate? 

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com 

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com 

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If the best man’s faults were written on his forehead, it would make him pull his hat over his eyes. Gaelic proverb

We all have our faults and that is what makes us human.  That also makes us unique individuals with an independent mind and thought process, we exhibit varied temperaments and have a streak of cunningness in our selfish being. We are constantly challenged by life to choose between good and evil, between giving in to the lure of vices and preferring the path of righteousness and constantly waging a war with temptations.

There is nothing inherently evil in us but circumstances make us prone to succumb to the worldly charms that are forbidden or tread a path of questionable credence. If Adam committed the original sin his offspring Cain wasn’t too far behind; in fact he went one step further than his dad who only blamed his wife, but Cain denied any knowledge of his crime and then perhaps it became a family trait that continues to date. The Old Testament is full of even more perverse human failings that would perhaps shock and sound extremely repulsive. The Ramayana and Mahabharata too outline the myriad hues of human failings be it treachery, jealousy, cunningness, power struggle, double crossing and Greek Mythology too does not lag far behind in bringing to the fore the faults of human kind.

While we are often tempted to point fingers at others, gossip about another’s wicked ways or slander another person without batting an eye lid, we remain either blissfully ignorant of our faults or conveniently ignore or rationalize our acts of omission and commission. If we just accepted the feedback that our well wishers and close associates give us and pondered over them it will dawn on us that we are guilty not just of committing a fault but worse still is our crime of condoning another’s indiscretions and deliberate acts of illegality and crime. This brings to fore another aspect of our faults viz. us turning our face away from an unpardonable act and thereby giving our tactical support albeit surreptitiously and covertly.

When we seek to condemn another and label a person as bad, wicked or devilish we must be ready to accept a similar charge being laid at our doorstep for none is so pure and holy that our conscience is spotless or our conduct blameless.

Remember: “Think of your own faults the first part of the night when you are awake, and the faults of others the latter part of the night when you are asleep” Chinese Proverbs

Try these:

  1. Ask your very close friends and colleagues to tell you 5 areas of improvement. If you analyze these you will be able to pinpoint those areas of your personality that needs a major make over. Prioritize them and work on them systematically.
  2. Sometimes our major fault is bad mouthing another either by being very critical or gossiping or insinuation. Look out for these apparently minor faults but deeply hurting behavior. You also need to ensure you stand up for those who are unnecessarily being criticized bad mouthed or blamed; for silence is golden except when you need to stand up and voice your concern.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. Helen Keller

Quite often we tend to brood over the past and a number of times we stray into a ‘If only’ mode, thereby suggesting that ‘If only’ things were different at a point in time we would have been happier / successful/ popular etc. It is but natural to lapse into such though process because man by nature is a thinking animal and in that process we would have both positive and negative thoughts. However when the negative thoughts over ride the emotions and seep into our psyche then we shift gears and move into a self pity mode blaming others for our failures, circumstances for conspiring against us succeeding and us putting on a garb of an innocent victim of fate.

If the past looked dark, for many caught in the frenzy of self pity, the future seems darker. This is because we also have the ability to telescope our self pity into the future and visualize ourselves as victims of a conspiracy of fate. We convince ourselves that if things look bad today the future is worse; we imagine ourselves caught in a spiral of unending struggle, engaged in a battle to rid ourselves of financial woes, personal and professional challenges and getting stuck in the rut of everyday living. Perhaps self pity is the way to escape from our responsibilities, loosen our guilt over our failures and a comfortable perch from which to agonize over the dismal way our life has shaped up. Alas, self pity cannot change the reality that we alone have to furrow our path to success.

It is important to realize that self pity is very different from introspection. Introspection is brief and objective analysis of happenings. Rationality is at the core of it and we place the facts dispassionately in front of us with a view to study it and learn from it. The negatives are not seen in isolation nor are they used as excuses but merely as facts that exist but never the only cause of our troubles. Rationality also places a very high premium on the positives and views it as lucky breaks, deserving opportunities and chances of fate that we should have capitalized on. If we haven’t, we take responsibility and we also cherish the moments of success that have been built up these positives.

If we look at the life of Helen Keller, we would realize how much more fortunate we are for most of us we are blessed with perfect faculties of hearing, sight and speech. Despite the triple strike against her, she was lucky to have the support of her family and the extraordinary luck of meeting up with teacher who believed in herself and her pupil and used the most extraordinary methods to groom her ward. Look around and you will observe that you too have the extra ordinary luck of a supportive family, friends, resources almost all of which we take for granted.  At this precise moment cherish the gifts of eyesight because you are reading this post, the gift of education for you understand what you read and the gifts of technology for you are accessing this because of the computer, the blog and the allied paraphernalia that technology has gifted to human kind. You have much to look forward to in life; if you still have doubts how about seeing the following video footage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sHyzatcBq8&feature=related

Remember: “Self-pity will parch your attitudes, it will paralyze your abilities, and it will put off your achievements. It prohibits excellence and prevents expansion.”

Try these:

  1. Blind fold yourself using a large kerchief or a big cloth. Now try and spend 15 minutes just doing what you would normally do in the day (except trying to sleep of course ha ha). Experience the feeling of helplessness, fear, paranoia etc. When you think 15 minutes are up remove the blind fold and check if it was 15 mins or 5 mins. Now ask yourself what are the strikes against you, in your life; you won’t find too many I bet.
  2. List out three things about yourself that you are ashamed of or embarrassed about. Do you experience a feeling of self pity because of those embarrassments? Are any of them hereditary or born with eg. Stammering, personal deformity or being obese. Do you still feel self pity that it was your unfortunate lot to be inflicted that scar in your personality? Now contrast that with all the blessings that you have got.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com
You are also invited to visit our weekly Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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