Tag: Worry

The futility of worrying

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength. A.J. Cronin

Strange as it may seem, many of us worry because the pain of worry seems to offer an axis around which one can go in circles and feel that we have actually done our bit to stem the tide. Unfortunately we fail to realize that in the process we have expended our energies, have not really changed the reality that stares at us and if anything we have just compounded our worries by wasting the present moment.  Assume we have an exam coming up and we have squandered away our time. Suddenly the reality of the exam date looms ominously ahead and instead of at least attempting to salvage the situation if we panic and brood and worry about our performance and fate, we would only have made a bad situation worse.

To cope with worry, we need to see the bright side of a hopeless situation and the get busy with our work today. Both these are tough especially when the Damocles sword of an impending worry is looming over our head. Seeing the bright side of a hopeless situation is a paradox in itself because hopelessness means a dark and bitter reality ahead. The brightest aspect of it is that at some point it will be over and done with. There could be other small but significant happenings like someone in dire pain lapsing into a comma where there will be no pain or failure helping one to switch tracks a decision which we longed for but didn’t dare to take. The key is to find straws of hope to clutch on to without turning those straws into steel ropes to latch on to and clamber out. One worry that is hard to overcome is the ‘what only if ‘syndrome. Take the case of a student who loses his rank by one mark. He/she can keep ruing that one silly mistake or the one question not studied well but the reality will not change. Or take the case of a person who is on the final question of ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ and chances his. her luck and fails.

If we can see the bright side of the future and to that extend minimize our worries, then we need to turn our focus on keeping busy. This is not to say one needs to engage in worthless and futile work rather one has to divert our positive energies into ensuring that w do our current jobs well. By being busy, our mind is occupied and will not stray and catch the worry bug.  At the same time, we would achieve some of our personal and professional goals, have no regrets about wasting our time and efforts and the net result is that we remain fit and agile. Where we really stumble is when do a tardy job, turn out shoddy work and pass the blame on to our worries and anxieties.  In the lexicon of the brave and the pragmatic person, today is what counts for the opportunities and the time will never come again no matter what the reality will be tomorrow.  Ask if we can we be concerned about the problem rather than worry about it?

Remember: There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” Harold Stephens

Try this:

  1. Make a list of 10 worries and assign 100 marks to be distribute amongst those worries with the highest marks going to the worry that we are most anxious about. Focus on the top three worries and orient yourself to be concerned about finding a solution.
  2. Ask yourself if more than 3 of the following traits are frequently exhibited by you, for then that shows signs of a person who worries too much.
  • Frequent negative thoughts
  • Constantly complaining, cribbing, whining
  • Do you get easily angry and enraged?
  • At the first signs of uneasiness do you consult a doctor?
  • Are you obsessed about things eg. Children’s exam marks/ punctuality/ neatness / rituals
  • Do you hate it when your carefully laid plans go awry and your schedule is upset?
  • In a crowd if the focus of attention suddenly shifts to you  do you feel very foolish/ sheepish/ disturbed/ irritated ?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Dont let tomorrow mess up today

If you are afraid for your future, you don’t have a present. James Petersen

There are times, when each one of us has got this sudden unexplainable feeling of fear, panic and helplessness when thinking about the future. Such fear when it comes occasionally is useful for us to be aware of our own mortality, the reality of an unpredictable future, the need to plan and be prepared and it helps us actually realize the value of today and make the best use of our today. The trouble starts when we are so obsessed about the future that we end up constantly wailing and moaning about it, keep worrying about it, spend more time making plans to handle imaginary crisis and fail to enjoy today and the blessings that we are fortunate to have. The truth is we cannot completely hedge against the future nor can we let the future steamroll us and so we need to ensure that we have some insurance to manage the future. It is this insurance that begins with us first of all enjoying our daily living so that we have no regrets later. At the same time by being pragmatic and rational about the future we can intelligently and objectively attempt to protect our future and insure it financially, emotionally and dynamically.

Our worries about the future come in so many shades. We worry about our jobs, our finances, our relationships, our hopes and aspirations. We also worry through our jealousies, envy, expectations, irrational thoughts and far too often through thoughts about death be it our own or that of a loved one. What is pertinent to note is that we when we worry the first casualty is our happiness. No one who worries will ever be able to enjoy the present. No sooner we feel happy a fearful thought will suddenly creep in and prick the bubble of happiness. In extreme cases we even start worrying about being happy and fear that our happiness is short lived for a calamity is lurking around the corner.  See the people around who have dour expression, those who are always complaining, people who are extremely critical or frequently sarcastic, the people who cannot accept compliments and those who are always negative in their words, thoughts and behavior; they rarely exude happiness.

The second and logical casualty is our present; the moment that is for us to enjoy, the gift of today and the spirit of life.  Instead of appreciating the beauty of the day we start counting the hours to darkness; our laughter is always tinged with regret or sadness; we are morose and snappy most times; we see the shadows not the sunshine and we live in fear of being besieged by calamity. More than anything else we live in the belief that we are the unlucky ones, the cursed ones and the only ones who have this fate befallen on. The third and most unfortunate of all repercussion is our conscious and unconscious negative impact on those around us. Many a time because we are dour and negative, we hate it when those around are happy, cheerful and enjoy with gay abandon. We make efforts to spoil their mood by berating them, being loud and uncouth or simply denying them the pleasures that they depend on you to give e.g. refusing a birthday party or finding fault with a gift they give you. Other times our demeanor and behavior are enough to make others avoid us, move away from us or simply ignore us . The cycle of unhappiness is then complete; we are unhappy we make others unhappy and in turn we remain unhappy.

Remember: “Your past is important but it is not nearly as important to your present as the way you see your future”  Tony Campolo

Try this:

  1. Read the post on FUTURE (Foresee Unusual Trends Usually Rapidly Emerging) in our weekly blog http://poweract.blogspot.com/2010/11/future.html
  2. Read the post on Why Worry https://actspot.wordpress.com/2010/12/31/why-worry-2/
  3. To minimize your future worries make a list of your New Year Resolutions, if you haven’t done it already. Now  get working on it right away so that by this time next year a large number of items on that list is deleted and you enjoy each day this year because you have slowly inched closer to achieving the resolutions on that list.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Why worry?

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. William Ralph Inge

Anything that disturbs our equilibrium, will pressurize us, make us anxious and continue to be an irritant that constantly nags and worries us. It could be as simple as awaiting ones exam results or it could be more life altering as awaiting the diagnosis of a biopsy report or it could be trivial issues like not being able to find a matching pair of socks or a clean handkerchief. While there would be many reading this post who would discount all the above examples as not relevant to them, it would help to just pause and reflect on our pet peeves and irritants that get us worried so often.

Interestingly, if we are honest to ourselves and study the actual happenings which initially got us worried, we would notice that barring rare exceptions most of our worries were ill conceived and completely misplaced. This brings us to an important lesson in life; that most worries never come true or happen in reality. The reason we keep worrying could possibly be explained by our parental guidance to be well prepare for all eventualities. As a consequence we have honed the skill of anticipating problems and troubles, working out alternatives to combat the perceived problem and thereafter worry that every alternative has a limitation. The irony is that originally perceived problem morphs into a myriad of subsidiary niggles each of which keeps pricking us and disturbing our peace of mind.

When seen from a different perspective, worry is simply hoarding a lot of useless stuff in the hope that it will prove useful when the time comes. Alas, this is like accumulating a sack full of salt, when all we need is a pinch of it. The excess baggage weighs us down, preoccupies us and diverts one from focusing on the more practical and meaningful activities that should ideally be our priority. Another angle to understand the futility of worrying is to see it as an off shoot of a poor me syndrome. Here we condition ourselves to believe we are in pain, in trouble, in dire straits and are constantly seeking the attention and sympathy of those around. Worry manifests itself as a bait to lure those around into paying attention, offering their support and fawning over the worrier.

The consequences of worry are what should really worry us; it affects our health, our psychology, our relationships and completely disrupts our personal, social and professional life. Ranging from sleeplessness, our worries create anxiety, panic and could end up with depression and other psychosomatic illness. What is more subtle is the elaborate process of denial that we are worrying. More often than not we have the urge to portray a happy and contented personality for the world at large while deep inside our heart and mind are progressively being weakened by our inability to eliminate, accept or confront our worries. The realization that our worries are best confronted when they really come true will help us build up the ability to reduce our anxiety, temper our fears and seek positives in perceived problems.

Remember: Don’t trouble troubles till troubles trouble you.

Try this:

  1.  Think of what would be the main worries of the following people and analyze if their worries are justified. Also try to group the worries in order of seriousness as perceived by you.
  • A chief executive of a company
  • A solider on the battle front A student who gets average marks despite working hard 
  • Parents of mentally or physically challenged children
  • An unwed mother.
  1. Check if you suffer from the following symptoms of excessive worry
  • Less sleep or restless sleep Bouts of anxiety and depression.
  • Constant negative thinking.
  • Unexplained fears Feelings of jealousy/ envy

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

We are blessed

If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.  Robert Quillen

The average human being, and the overwhelming population would fall in that category, is forever striving, aspiring and perspiring in the forlorn hope of increasing our wealth and assets. That by itself is a noble way of living life but scratch the surface and then we notice that we are in fact craving to amass, partly to keep ahead of the pack but mainly to romp around in glee that we have kept the wolves at bay. Almost all of us live in mortal fear that sooner or later our liabilities will outpace our assets and so we franticly pace ourselves to acquiring more and more. Ironically in this process what we fail to account for are the real wealth that we all posses; our health, our family, our relationships, our intellect, our creativity and above all our spirit and resilience to bounce back.

When we have to list out our wealth the real difficulty is to asses our intangible wealth. More often than not we take our personal gifts bestowed by nature for granted and do not really appreciate the value of our relationships, our friends and personal strengths seriously. In this day and age having a very strong family support is a very special blessing that we is priceless. To know that there are people (family, relatives and friends)to support you no matter what, people to stand by you when you are at grievous fault, people to motivate and cheer you on when the going gets tough and people who will frankly and honestly give you the right feedback even if it is a wee bit hurtful is a big asset in one’s life. Similarly to know that we possess the attributes like vision, intellect, discipline, insight, acumen and resilience to bounce back are gifts of our genes and fate and we need to value that immensely.

What really adds to woes is our propensity to exaggerate our woes. This is made worse by our habit of making odious comparisons with our neighbors, our peers and worst of all with those who are in completely different league than ourselves.  Obviously comparisons especially selective comparisons would always make us look a shade worse than the other but we would see it as being a terrible catastrophe. What we do further is more criminal; we compare apples with oranges as in seeing only the material wealth of others when it suits us and then seeing the domestic bliss of another when it suits us again. We rarely see the comparability factor in terms of age, economic, educational and social background etc. of the other party.

Do a reality check and we will make the realization that we are amply blessed. To begin with the reality is you are alive. This is a sobering thought when we realize that there are so many who die young. Most of us have a stable job or business, a loving and caring family, are educated and are healthy enough to be independent and plenty of friends. Finally when we evaluate our riches we just need to ask the question that is the tile of Robin Sharma’s book ‘ Who will cry when we die?’ The answer will be an eye opener.

Remember: “Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession as they torment us with their loss.” Epicurus

Try this:

  1. Read the short story ‘How much land does a man need? ‘ by  Leo Tolstoy http://www.online-literature.com/tolstoy/2738/ .You can also read a synopsis of the story here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Much_Land_Does_a_Man_Need%3F
  2. Attempt to write down the following
  • The least amount of money which we think will make us feel rich enough to retire.
  • The one thing you will splurge on and the amount you will splurge on if you had enough wealth for it.
  • The one charitable cause you will support and your contribution to that cause if you have enough wealth.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

The secret about secrets

You’re only as sick as your secrets. Anon

Everyone has secrets; be a secret crush, a broken affair, some silly folly’s that are better kept under wraps, some embarrassing fears or some illness that you prefer to hide or some harsh realities that you hate to even recollect let alone recount to others etc. Unfortunately, secrets have a way of corroding the insides mentally and then physically of the person keeping them undisclosed. The net result is that people having too many secrets locked away within themselves fall sick, suffer from various ailments and are often depressed and cagey. Far too often they find the burden of carrying the secret a very heavy cross to carry.

One reason why secrets have an acidic tendency and corrode the inside is that most secrets have a touch of sinfulness if not being out rightly sinful. This is a tough situation to be in, because anyone with bare minimum value systems find this an indelible blot that cannot be cleansed in the normal course. People do find ways and means to mitigate their guilt like rationalizing it, ignoring it, denying it etc. The Catholics have an even more legitimate way through the confessional box, where their darkest secrets and sins are told to the priest and he dispenses absolution and pardon. Presto, the guilt and secret are nonexistent and the penance that gives pardon a small price to pay for a big relief.  Some secrets are too embarrassing to be shared. Being rejected in love tops the list. Using unfair means to top exams come a close second and taking bribe and other considerations follow nearabouts too. Our fears and ambitions too figure in this list.

Unless one is a spy or a secret agent, who is trained to keep secrets and indoctrinated that secrets are for the larger good of the society or nation, the average person can be sure to suffer some problems that can be directly attributed to holding on to secrets. The most common problem could be insomnia and that could be accompanied by paranoia that our secrets could be found out. Irritation, anger, withdrawal and nervous breakdown could also be symptomatic of the ill effects of stress. The lurking fear of being exposed and humiliated if our secrets are out in the open are a perennial source of tension and stress for people who have secrets kept deep in the recess of their hearts. It is important to note that having secrets and being secretive by nature are two very different things. There are people who are secretive by nature for they deliberately keep the facts and knowledge to themselves. Almost all of them are selfish by nature and their reluctance to share information could also be attributed to them wanting to deny others an advantage or their personal conviction that knowledge is power especially if they are the only ones having it.

There are two techniques to lead a more balanced and relatively less free life, by being out of the clutches of the troubles brought about by having secrets. The first is to live in a manner that does not warrant having any secrets. The second is to share our secrets with someone in whom we have some confidence so that we reduce the pressure of carrying the burden of the secret all alone. The latter option thought is fraught with the risk of having to be hundred percent confident of your confidant. In short, the secret to having no secrets is to be diplomatically straightforward or alternatively being able to confess your secrets.

Remember: “The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep” Edgar Watson Howe

Try this:

  1. Did you know that secrets can be fun too. Do you remember reading the Enid Blyton series of books of The Secret Seven etc. If you haven’t read it, give it a try although it is meant for young children, there is adventure in the secrets.
  2. You can attempt to organize a game called secret friend if you have a team/ group of at least 5-7 people in your workplace. The rules are simple. During the festive season, make as many chits as there are team members. Write the name of one member on one chit and ensure all members are covered. The week preceding the festivities, the chits are distributed to team members so as to ensure each member has one name (not his/ her own). The person holding the chit will be the secret friend of the person whose name is on the chit. The holder of the chit is to get a secret gift not exceeding a prefixed amount and place the gift with the receivers name of the secret friend marked on the gift in a common designated area.  On the last day before holidays, these gifts will be distributed to each one. The most important thing is that no one should reveal in any manner what gift they gave or got nor to whom they gave the gift.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

The greatest mistake…

The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one. Elbert Hubbard

Fear paralyzes and that in two words is the only problem with fear. Unfortunately those two words are responsible for a whole life time of failures, dashed hopes, unfulfilled potential, abject performances and even financial woes. When we are afraid, our natural instinct is self preservation and this means taking evasive action pronto. Moe often than not the flight response is so dominant that we are mentally set to flee long before the feared possibility even appears on the horizon. However when we are suddenly faced with a fearful situation, often we find ourselves quaking in fear and rooted to the spot unable to move or react.

One of the most commonly experienced fears is the fear of making a mistake. Perhaps this is one of the chief reasons why the majority of the population around the world is terrified of public speaking.  Usually if we maintain status quo the chances of making a mistake are minimized for then we haven’t triggered anything that will be linked back to us. However while most times we can get away with doing nothing, there are many critical times when being paralyzed with fear can be life threatening. Take the case of a person trapped in the topmost floor of a high rise building on fire who is asked to cross over to the next building by slithering across the ropeway attached. The fear of the fire and the fear of heights can trigger panic in the person who might end up immobile.  A similar fate could befall a person who suddenly encounters a big cat like a lion or a tiger in the jungle.

A situation that drives people crazy with fear is the possibility of public humiliation if one commits a faux pas or mistake in public. Rather than seeing a mistake as a natural outcome of action gone wrong, people with a tremendous ego, fragile confidence or those who are timid by nature avoid any situation that brings them to the spotlight. As a result some of the most talented people never display their talent or ability and lead an inglorious life, punctuated with regrets and envy of others. There are many others who are so fearful of mistakes that instead of learning from mistakes, they are constantly trying to cover up, give excuses, find fault with extraneous things and absolve themselves of all responsibility. In the long run their growth is stunted, their potential remains unfulfilled and at best they play second filled all the time.

The best way to overcome the fear of mistakes is to realize that the vast majority of mistakes are never fatal. Equally important is the realization that mistakes will happen no matter how well one prepares. Eg. Look back at the numerous silly mistakes you made while answering your examination papers. Perhaps they may have cost you a merit rank but it never dampened your enthusiasm to do better next time. Mistakes are a humbling experience and reveal to us our human weakness and fragility. Finally if  one has  benefited from a mistake, then one needs to take that as a rare grace of a mistake.  When one can overcome the fear of mistakes, only then can one explore the frontiers beyond and yonder.

Remember: “If you don’t make mistakes, you don’t make anything”

Try this:

  1. Total the following numbers (without jotting it down again and without using a calculator or excel sheet or any external aid)  23456+45678+98765+413289+243546+765849+132589=             Jot down the speed with which you calculated the total. Now try to beat that speed by calculating the same numbers without counting the fourth number. Recheck your total using a calculator. If you made a mistake in totaling is it because you were focused on speed or simply careless.  If you didn’t even attempt it, is it because of your fear of mathematics or you think it is absurd doing the exercise. Do you think you are making a mistake by not attempting?
  2. If you have to relive your life again, list at least 3 mistakes in your life that you would correct or ensure you would never repeat.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Growing through our mistakes

The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. Eleanor Roosevelt

There might never be even one individual in the history of mankind who can state that he/ she has never stumbled or fallen down . The same is true about mistakes because no one is so perfect that every action results in the expected outcome. It obviously stands to reason that anyone who claims to be perfect and without blemish is either lying or has never attempted anything worthwhile. The point that is underscored here is that fear of making mistakes must never be a deterrent for anyone to attempt a task. Mistakes happen for a wide variety of reasons. Carelessness is the most common cause of mistakes. Inefficiency, tardiness, ignorance, all taken together, forms the bulk of the reasons for other mistakes.  Unforeseen circumstances would be the next major cause of mistakes.

There are many people who go through life moaning and wailing that they made a terrible mistake/s and they cannot get themselves to forgive or forget the painful past. It is essential for such people to realize that most mistakes can be undone, a few mistakes can be salvaged and it is just a miniscule portion that lends itself to irreversible consequences. However human nature being what it is we are not prepared to risk anything and so in mortal fear of committing a mistake we fail to even attempt. Unless one attempts one can never be aware of one’s potential, let alone the possibility of leveraging one’s potential.  Look back and see the carefree way one went about learning to cycle in our childhood; falling off the bicycle and scraping ourselves was the norm. A few tears shed, some painful gashes perhaps even some harsh words from elders who advice us to be careful may have temporarily dampened our enthusiasm but one soon puts all these behind and once again peddles with gay abandon. Yet as we grow older rational and logic instill in us the fear of mistakes and we succumb to its scare instead of enjoying the bliss of taking on a challenge and surmounting it.

A pencil with the eraser at the end is a fine example of the balance between action and mistakes. Notice that the pencil is pretty long and the eraser consists of a very very small part of the whole pencil. It connotes our confidence in being able to use the pencil effectively and yet conveys our pragmaticism in accepting the reality that there could be mistakes. The eraser is a strong reminder too that mistakes can be erased and the work redone to an acceptable level. Mistakes in real life though, particularly those that violate our sense of fairness, justice or  feelings often tend to leave an emotional scar on a person and it is not easy to clear up those scars. A jilted lover, someone cheated by a close associate or friend, a person who has been a victim of a character assassination or personal dignity find their mistake of trusting someone  too unforgiving that they sometimes lose their ability to sufficiently recharge their own emotions of love, faith, belief etc.  Yet with time on their side and the power of love on the other  people will erase the memories of the past mistakes and give themselves a second chance. The biggest mistake one can ever make is the mistake of not getting up when one stumbles; for if one remains on the ground one can never go anywhere but six feet down.

Remember: “All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”  Winston Churchill

Try these:

  1. Recollect the 3 monumental mistakes you have made in your life. If you had a second chance how  would you have insulated yourself against committing such a mistake? What is the most important lesson you learned from these mistakes?
  2. Try and recall the stupidest mistake you made in the following cases:
  • In an examination
  • In a relationship
  • Travel goof up
  • Written communication
  • When you were really annoyed

Do you feel embarrassed by the recollection of any of the above events?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Worries

If your eyes are blinded with your worries, you cannot see the beauty of the sunset.Krishnamurti

Worries are the yoke that God has put on the human beings shoulders so that they are bridled and restrained from going berserk through life. Unfortunately for many of us, this yolk becomes a millstone that threatens to drown us in the whirlpool of life. Worries cloud our thought process, affect our sensibilities and threaten our peace of mind.

Worry is a mechanism for the higher order of God’s creation viz man and woman to be careful, cautious and clear in their plans for their future. Without worry, we would not engage in a any productive activity, nor save for the future and possible squander away our wealth. Notice that unlike other animals man is the only animal that destroys the environment under the garb of progress, covets and hoards more than his/ her needs and kills for pleasure rather than for self protections or consumption needs.

However worry is misconstrued by many people to mean never ending troubles, constant vigilance to anticipate troubles and an inability to enjoy the pleasures of life lest we lose it. Worry would not let you savor the beauty of life be it the bringing up of children, appreciating the wonders of nature or enjoying the company of loved ones. We can worry about the silliest things like getting a heart attack to the probability of someone robbing us while we travel or getting worked up when we know about the arrival of guests. Some get obsessed and possessive because they worry about losing their prized possessions.

The trick to overcome our worries is to see the solutions to our immediate worries. Positive thinking is the crisp antidote for those prone to anxiety and depression. Look at life positively and enthusiastically and you will learn to enjoy the rain and sunshine in equal measure!

Remember: “There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.”Harold Stephens

Try these:

  1. Every night before going to bed think of your problems. Then think of the solutions to the problems. Satisfy yourself that the solutions are appropriate even if they bring pain to you mentally or physically. You will then be able to have a good sleep if your focus on the solutions working the next morning
  2. Analyze the worst fears you had in your life and during the last month. What were the solutions to those worries? How many of those worries tortured you? Eg. If you failed in school and had to repeat a class everyone must have been distraught. How long did that feeling last? Did that failure majorly affect your future life? The learning is clear; worries will be there but they can be overcome !

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our WEEKLY Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

Worry

Every morning I spend fifteen minutes filling my mind full of God, and so there’s no room left for worry thoughts.   Howard Chandler Christy

Many people, particularly friends and well wishers have often asked me how I am able to keep up my New Year Resolution to write this blog every single day, in addition to my weekly blog (www.poweract.blogspot.com).  I don’t worry about how I will write if I am out of town and don’t have access to the net connection. In fact I have consciously refused to look at the topic for the next day (this is taken from a PPT that I received which is actually put up by someone not known to me at all, and which is available on (www.actspot.com) Well truth be told, I am surprised myself, but the one secret is that I have never worried about the topic for tomorrow and what my response would be. In fact for Indian readers who have seen the movie 3 Idiots, there are times when I actually tell myself ‘All is Well”

Does it mean I don’t worry?  Alas, worry will always be a constant devil that will chase you till your last breath; the antidote is ‘faith’.  When we begin every day with a prayer on your lips, faith in God and yourself and a positive frame of mind, worry will be banished for the day. However, it may make the odd appearance, when your spirits are low and a task looks daunting or a situation looks bleak and desperate.  Death for instance is a reality that everyone has to face; be it that of parents, siblings, friends, spouse or loved ones. Can we then in fear and hopelessness cower and slunk with worry? Sounds foolish but then if we are short sighted and seek escape in worry, we end up as nervous wrecks and not joyful beings.

The spate of suicides amongst us particularly the young, the youth and the students is ‘worrying’ to say the least and paradoxically is the culmination of their individual ‘worries’ seeking relief through desperate means.  If all those who have suicidal tendencies,  just pause to ask themselves one question ‘‘Will this last?’, they would have realized that most worries are by and large temporary, a few, more long term and a minuscule lot of our troubles are permanent and inescapable. Take the case of paraplegics, those suffering from terminal illness and those having mentally challenged children or siblings; they have worries of a long term and permanent nature. What is their response? They seek courage and hope in prayer and in themselves.  As Paul Brunton correctly put it “Worry is spiritual short sight. Its cure is intelligent faith.” Suicide is escape from worries not a solution or a remedy.

Remember: “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”Leo F. Buscaglia quotes

Try these:

  1. Most of us are scared to even think of our worries; so you have to take that special effort to outline your worries now. It could be fear of exams, apprehension about your relationships, career prospects, financial stability, a personal illness or that of a loved one etc. Once you list it down, ask yourself if the listing down makes you more anxious or more relieved that you have identified it? Now for each of the worries identify who can help you or who can you confide in and share with, your worries. Meet them at the earliest and try to get guidance and solace.
  2. Many of your worries are actually your lack of faith in yourself or your dogmatic refusal to address the concern under some garb or excuse. Be honest and review your list of worries and ask yourself if the problem is s gigantic or desperate as you make them out to be? Can many of them be partially addressed by you accepting that you have to do something about it? Are you ready to take that effort? Are you afraid, ashamed or defiant to seek help?
  3. Ask yourself the following questions and be proactive in your response! If you see that someone is in trouble and worrying, are you prepared to go that extra step and offer your help? Do you have the tendency to say that ‘ I don’t want to get involved’? Are you scared that getting involved would make me more caught up than what I really see myself wanting to? Do you realize that Listening is the best help that you can give to someone with a worry? Can you spare time to just LISTEN to another?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are invited to also visit our weekly inspirational and motivational blog www.poweract.blogspot.com